Why would I be telling Jeff about the will? There was no reason to. Unless … unless I was plotting something with Jeff. Oh, but I couldn't have been. Not about the will. Why, that would mean…
Suspicion spread through her like poison. Wilfully she tried to deny it.
I was-am-Russell's daughter. I wouldn't do anything to hurt him, no matter what I was like before. I know I wouldn't.
"My God, what's going on?" she said through dry lips.
What kind of a person had she been before she had returned to Sunrise?
A schemer. And maybe something far worse.
6
THE WEDDING WAS HELD OUTSIDE IN THE COOL MORNing air. Addie sat through the entire ceremony without hearing a word of it, her mind feverishly occupied with questions. Until now she had been certain about Ben's guilt and her own innocence. It had been so easy to picture him as the villain, and herself as the heroine who would save the day. But nothing was black or white anymore. Ben wasn't all good or bad, just as she wasn't. And the most horrifying thing of all was that if he wasn't guilty of plotting to kill Russell, she might be. She couldn't forget what Russell had said to her about the will.
"Aw, honey … I know you're prob'ly a mite disappointed at gettin' Sunrise in trust instead of all that money … you'd be a rich woman if I did that … you'd have enough money to do whatever you wanted for the rest of your life …
A rich woman.
How badly had she wanted to be a rich woman? If only she could remember more about the things she might have done in the past. If only there weren't so many shadows crowded in her mind.
She cast her eyes over the congregation until she saw Jeff's hatless head, his mahogany hair shining in the morning light. He hadn't even looked at her this morning. Boyish, blue-eyed Jeff. Had he really been that clumsy drunken stranger in the blacksmith shop last night? She could hardly believe it. It seemed like a dream.
Ben was just a few seats away from her. She was astounded by the strange part he had played in all of it. He was the last one she would have cast as her rescuer. His head turned in her direction, and she looked away before their eyes met. She couldn't look at him, not after what had happened between them.
Wincing, Addie couldn't dispel the picture that flashed through her mind, the two of them writhing on the floor of the blacksmith shop. She could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she bent her head to hide her face. The way she had let him touch her, the way she'd encouraged him… no, she could never bear to meet his eyes again.
In the last twenty-four hours she'd become a stranger to herself. Addie smiled bitterly as she recalled how this unwanted nightmare had begun. How full of fire and conceit she had been, so eager to convict Ben, so certain she would be Russell Warner's savior. But last night she had found herself clinging to Ben like a wanton, drunk with desire for him, with no thought of Russell or anything else to sober her. It had never been like that before, not with anyone. After her first resistance she had made no effort to push Ben away. So much for herself-righteous intentions.
And what Leah had said later that night in the privacy of their room was more disturbing than anything else so far. Addie hadn't forgotten a word of it. It made her more than a little afraid. What had Leah overheard her planning with Jeff? What had she and Jeff been conspiring to do?
No, I wouldn't have planned anything that would have hurt Russell, she thought frantically. Not my own father. I may have been different then, but I would never have done something that horrible.
Addie was alerted by the burst of happy cries from the congregation when the ceremony was over. Blinking as if newly awakened, she raised her head and looked at the people standing up around her. Caroline tapped her on the shoulder after Peter helped her to rise.
"What are you daydreamin' about?"
"Nothing," Addie said quietly, rising from her seat and fussing with the sleeves of her dress.
Caroline was in a mood to tease. "Maybe you were thinkin' about the wedding you'll have someday."
Ben, who was standing just behind Caroline, happened to overhear. "A wedding?" he repeated, looking over Caro's blond head and making Addie the target. of a polite, faintly curious glance. "You fixing to marry someone soon, Miss Adeline?"
As she looked at him and flushed, his green eyes flickered with a subtle light she couldn't mistake. Suddenly the whole world was filled with nothing but the two of them and the private memory of those sweltering minutes in the blacksmith shop. Addie felt trapped, as surely as if she'd been chained to him. Ben caught her look of alarm, and he smiled, allowing just a touch of smugness to shine through.
Addie longed to spit out some words that would wipe the masculine smirk off his face. "At the moment there's not a man in the world I'd agree to marry," she said sharply.
"Glad to hear it," he commented lazily, appreciating the way the sun struck off her honey-colored hair. She was unbearably tempting, all bristled up and uncertain, her mouth pursed and her brows drawing together.
Caroline eyed the pair thoughtfully and then turned to her husband with-a smile. "Peter, take me into the house, please. If I don't have a glass of water in the next minute, I'll die of thirst. "
Ben gave them an absentminded nod as they left, and re-turned his attention to Addie, while the excited crowd milled around Ruthie and Harlan. He noticed the shadow of a bruise on Addie's wrist and frowned, reaching out to catch her forearm in his hand. She made no move to pull it away as he looked down at her delicately veined wrist.
"From him or me?" he asked gruffly.
"I don't know." She sounded much calmer than she felt. "Does it matter?"
"Yes, it matters." Though his voice was laced with irritation, his thumb was gentle as it stroked over the bruise. "I didn't intend to hurt you."
Her breath shortened. The movement of his fingers on her skin, there in the middle of hundreds of people, caused her heart to drive crazily against the wall of her chest. This couldn't continue. She had to make certain things clear, about what she would and wouldn't tolerate from him.
"Ben, what happened last n-night can't… You and I… just can’t.”
"Yes we can," he returned softly. "And will as soon as I get half a chance."
"No, Ben-"
"You look a little tired, darlin’." His eyes caressed her strained face.
"That's your fault. I couldn't sleep after we… after you… I spent the whole night tossing and turning."
"I wish I'd been there to join you."
"Hush up! Someone will hear, and please don't touch me like that!"
He released her wrist with deliberate care, and Addie knew the wisest thing to do would be to turn around and leave as quickly as possible. But something rooted her feet to the ground, keeping her there, close to him but not quite touching.
"When are you leaving?"
"Soon." Ben laughed quietly. "You're not anxious for me to go, are you?"
"Yes. Oh, stop looking at me like that. I think Mama just noticed us talking together-"
"So?"
"She doesn't want me to associate with someone like you."
"I know that. But what do you want?"
She took a deep -breath and looked at him directly. "I want us to forget about last night. It was a terrible misunderstand-ing."
"Not at all," he countered. "I think we understood each other quite well."
"Do whatever you want. I'm going to forget it ever happened. "
"Do you actually think you can?" Ben raised his eyebrows and folded his arms across his chest as he peered down at her. "No. It's going to be there between us from now on. Every time I look at you I'll remember the taste of your lips, the feel of your-"