I 'd go to any lengths to keep him. None of them have ever fought for each other. But they must have felt something once. They must have. Caroline and Peter acted like distant acquaintances, while May and Russell were wearily affectionate at best. No passion, no tenderness. Not even anger. What do they talk about when they're alone? Or is there just silence?
Addie missed the long, cozy talks with Ben the most. In the darkest hours of the night she had told him some of the scandalously intimate things that even wives weren't supposed to tell their husbands. Conversations with Ben had been a source of endless fascination, since there was almost no subject he was unwilling to discuss, and he never bothered to spare het modesty. He seemed to enjoy making her blush, and he could always tell when he'd succeeded, even in the dark.
After a week of being apart from him, she began to notice that Ben was changing in subtle ways. His easy manner had disappeared and his sense of humor was more biting than usual. He was always tense and short tempered around her, and he made an effort to avoid her company. Why was he so brusque and abrupt? Why did it seem as if he were angry with her?
Every time she heard him walk into the house at dinnertime, saw him enter the room, watched him as he sat down at the table, there was an ache in the pit of her stomach. The extra time he spent in the sun was darkening his skin to a new swarthy shade, making his eyes glow like emeralds. He had never been so handsome, so unreachable. Why was it that as she looked at him across the expanse of the dining-room table, the distance seemed to turn into miles?
Addie poker her head around Caroline's door, her brow creasing with a frown as she saw the shades pulled down over the morning light and the small bulky figure huddled underneath the covers.
"Caro?" she said softly, and her sister stirred. "You don't feel like getting up yet?"
Caroline shook her head, looking annoyed. Her face was bloated from gaining a surprising amount of weight in a short time, and her eyes were underlined with puffy bags. "No. I feel sick. I'm tired."
"Has Dr. Haskin-"
"He says there's nothin' wrong with me."
"Well, that's wonderful-"
"Oh, don't sound so cheerful."
"Why don't I get you some tea? And I'll read you the story from yesterday's newspaper about -"
"No. Thank you, but I don't feel like drinkin' anything or listenin' to anything."
Slowly Addie walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, covering Caro's limp hand with her own. "What's wrong?" she asked gently.
The sympathy seemed to be Caroline's undoing. Her eyes filled with tears. "I feel so fat and awful and mean-tempered. And I'm losing my hair. Can't you see how thin and stringy it is? I used to have such pretty hair. "
"It's still pretty. If you have lost some, it's certainly not enough for anyone to notice, and it'll grow back just as soon as the baby's born."
"A-and Peter never wants to talk to me anymore, or hold me-"
"He doesn't know what you want from him. Tell him what you need."
"I want h-him to know without askin'."
"Men don't always understand what to do. Sometimes you have to tell them."
Caroline gave a watery sigh and wiped her eyes with a comer of the sheet. "This momin' Leah came into my room and started bouncin' on the bed. I was sharp with her, and she doesn't understand why-"
"I'll see to her. Cade and I will take her to town.
Yesterday she wanted some material to make her doll some dresses, and we don't have enough scraps here. We'll get her a length of cotton, and maybe some candy. "
"Would you? Oh, she'll like that."
"What about you?" Addie asked, gently teasing. "Peppermint or licorice?"
"Nothing," Caro said, suddenly looking happier. Despite her pregnancy, she looked like a little girl with her tearstained face and plump cheeks. Addie felt a pang of love for her, wishing she knew how to make everything magically right for Caro.
"Tonight when I get back, we'll wash your hair. That'll make you feel better. And I'll tell Ben to play some music in the parlor after dinner, especially that song you always like to hear. "
"But Ben is so busy-"
"He'll find the time," Addie assured her, and grinned impishly. "If I ask."
Caroline brightened, looking at her expectantly. "How are things between the two of you?"
Addie leaned closer, her brown eyes dancing with excitement. "He loves me," she whispered.
"Oh, Adeline-"
"I never dreamed I could be so happy. I'm so much in love it hurts."
"I'm so glad for you." Caroline gripped her hand.
"Don't let him go. Don't let anything come between you."
"No, never." Addie flashed her a grin and squeezed Caro's hand before letting go and leaving the room. "Leah! Leah, where are you? You and I are going to town. Come help me look for Cade. "
Leah's pigtails flew behind her as she raced down the stairs ahead of Addie, her voice shrill as she called for Cade. Addie followed her out to the front porch, where they found Cade reclining lazily on the steps with Diaz. Diaz was in the middle of one of his improbable adventure stories. He stopped his narrative and looked up as he saw them, his wizened face creasing with a smile.
Addie returned the smile hesitantly, suddenly aware of how many times she'd walked by him without a thought as he sat on this very porch. Accustomed to his presence there, she had given him as little notice as she gave the porch railing or the wooden boards under her feet. Every now and then they had exchanged a word, but she had never again sought out his company after the strange, almost nonsensical conversation they'd once had. It was rare that Addie let herself think about it, and everything she had once considered asking him or talking to him about had faded into the most distant part of her memory. He was just there, ever-present, contemplative.
"Cade, you have to take Adeline an' me to town," Leah burst out, reaching out to yank at his hand.
Cade smiled at her excitement, resisting her efforts to pull him to his feet. "Who says I have to?"
"Don't tease," Addie said, hooking her fingers into his shirt collar and tugging lightly. He-made a gagging noise and stood up.
"Guess you'll have t' finish the story later," he said to Diaz, shoving his hands into his pockets and shrugging good-naturedly. "Otherwise Adeline'll strangulate me. You aren't gonna leave before tonight, are you?"
"Tomorrow mornin'," Diaz said, and Addie's eyes widened in astonishment.
"Leave? What do you mean? Where are you going? Why-"
"I never stay too long in one place, or with one outfit." Diaz smiled at her in a kindly way and lifted his stocky shoulders as if to indicate it was something beyond his control.
"But what will you do?"
"Lotta herds gonna be driven north soon. Always room for a good talespinner on the trail."
Addie was speechless. She didn't want him to leave.
But she couldn't explain the feeling, not to him and not even to herself. There was no practical reason for wanting him to stay at Sunrise. She hardly knew him, hardly ever spoke to him. He was just as he described himself, a talespinner. He'd done nothing for her except throw out a few half-baked ideas one night that had struck her fancy. Some of the odd things he'd said. about going back in time, about redemption, had frightened her with their accuracy. Maybe it had just been a lucky choice of words. And maybe not.
"There's something I must know," she said hesitantly. "Mr. Diaz-"