It was too grisly. But it had to be done. She took hold of the cord and began to pry it away, breathing through her mouth to avoid the smell of death. It hurt more than she could.have imagined to have him die this way. He hadn't deserved this, a death so ignominious for such a proud man. The circumstances, and her responsibility, made it more painful than when Leah had died. I can't think about that yet, she thought, her self-control faltering. She would have to break the news to Ben, and to Caro and Peter. But she didn't want to be the one to tell May. She couldn't look her mother in the face and tell her. Someone else could do it.
The doorknob turned, and May stood in the doorway without moving. An immaculate golden braid trailed over her shoulder, almost reaching the belt of her tiny-waisted robe. She looked incredibly fragile, her face chiseled out of ivory, her face etched with lines Addie had never noticed before. Cade must have told her. Addie let go of the cord and turned to keep her from coming any closer. Before anyone could see Russell, she had to clear the room of the evidence planted to frame Ben.
"Mama-"
"Leave me alone with him."
Addie moistened her dry lips. "Mama, I need a few minutes to…"
Like a sleepwalker, May went to the bed, not looking at her. Addie fell back a few steps. "He… he was murdered," she said helplessly.
May ignored her and knelt by Russell's body, her back perfectly straight.
Slowly Addie backed away and went out into the hallway, her mind spinning. There was no time to fix things now. She would have to let the guitar string remain where it was, and provide an alibi for Ben. It would have to be enough to protect him.
The house was quiet except for the muffled sounds coming from Caro's bedroom. Ben was nowhere to be seen. Addie guessed he was outside with Robbie Keir. Walking to the stairs on trembling legs, she headed to Russell's office, where she was certain she'd find a bottle of whiskey. Maybe a drink would help to steady her nerves and stop her from shaking. She whirled around like a scalded cat as Caro's door burst open and Peter stepped out, his eyes wild.
"It's Caroline," he said in panic. "She's having pains. The baby-"
"Did her water break?" Addie asked, and he went scarlet, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Either he didn't know or was too embarrassed to tell her. Irritation rose in her throat, and it was all she could do to keep from snapping at him. "You'd better go get Dr. Haskin," she said, brushing by him and going into Caro's room.
Caroline was curled up on her side, holding her stomach and biting her lip in agony.
"Caro?" At the sound of Addie's voice Caroline began to sob uncontrollably. "Caro, has there been any bleeding?" Addie took hold of her shoulders and repeated the question, her hands biting into Caroline's upper arms. The pain of Addie's grip seemed to break through her fear. She stared up at Addie, the flood of tears slowing a little. "Yes, some bleeding. And labor pains… but it's too soon… it's too soon for… " she broke off and gave a little moan, her face filmy with perspiration. "My water just broke," she whispered. "It's too soon."
She was having a miscarriage. Addie read the terror in her eyes and knew a moment of panic before an unnatural calm came over her. "I'm going to get some more pillows to prop you up," she said, "and a few other things. I'll be right back."
"I want Mama here. Get her… please."
"She'll be here in just a few minutes. And Peter's on his way to get the doctor right now."
Caroline closed her eyes, her eyelashes trembling against her cheeks. She writhed with a contraction. "Adeline…" she gasped. "Is he really dead?"
Something inside Addie twisted in anguish. "Yes, Caro," she said softly.
"Adeline, I don't want to die. I'm so afraid. I think… I think I'm going to die too. "
It was hard for Addie to suppress a wave of helpless anger. All she wanted to do was find a private comer and cry. Hadn't enough happened tonight without this too? She didn't want to bear up under any more disaster. She didn't want to be strong for Caroline when she needed all her strength for herself.
Then she was horrified at her thoughts. How selfish she was. "You're not going to die," she said. "Don't waste your energy worrying about ridiculous things." Her voice was full of remorse, but it was doubtful Caroline heard her. Addie flew out of the room and ran to Russell's door, flinging it open madly. Startled, May looked up with her hands still clasped in prayer. "Caro's having her baby," Addie said hoarsely. "She needs you there."
May blinked and spoke as if in a dream. "She's upset because of Russ-"
"It's more than being upset. Her water broke, and she's bleeding. She's having labor pains. Stay with her while I find some things to clean up the bed with." She left without waiting for an answer, and nearly ran into Leah, who was standing in the middle of the hallway.
"What's the matter with Mama?" the little girl asked, her eyes wide and her lips white.
"Leah, honey, go to bed." There was no use lying to her. "Your Mama's having the baby. You must stay in your room and keep out of the way."
Even at a tender age Leah had overheard enough conversations about childbirth to know it was often mentioned in the same breath as pain and death. To an observant child who'd heard the horror stories women liked to tell of their trials in labor, the mysterious condition of pregnancy was something dangerous and fearful.
"Is she going to-"
"She's going to be just fine," Addie said swiftly, giving her a push in the direction of her room. "Now, go, and don't get out of bed again."
11
THEY GAVE CAROLINE ENOUGH LAUDANUM TO TAKE the edge off the pain, but she still knew what was happening. The past months of discomfort, joy, and anticipation were coming to an abrupt end. Addie knew Caro's physical pain hardly compared to the emotional anguish of knowing she was losing the baby. It took Peter almost four hours to find Dr. Haskin, who was on another call, and bring him to the ranch. Addie suffered every minute of that time, silently cursing the doctor for not being there.
May sat by the bedside, calm but a little blank, slow to answer questions or to say anything at all. Instinctively Caroline turned to Addie for help, clutching her hand when in pain, asking her to talk when she needed distraction. Addie worked ceaselessly to keep her as comfortable as possible, bathing the sweat off her face, rearranging the mountain of pillows when Caroline's back hurt, changing the towels they had placed underneath her hips.
Addie was only dimly conscious of what was going on outside the small room. She was aware that long ago the sheriff had arrived and Ben had taken him up to Russell's room, that there were strangers' feet walking up and down the stairs, and men's voices outside as the ranch was awakened by the news of Russell Warner's murder.
Finally Cade knocked on the door to signal that the doctor had arrived. Wearily Addie went downstairs to meet him, heedless of the blood on her dress or her straggling, hastily tied-back hair. She started in astonishment at the sight of Doc Haskin. She'd been expecting an old man with a shock of silver hair, crinkly eyes, and a weather-lined face. Slim shoulders, slightly 'stooped. A man who shuffled slightly when he walked. That was the Doc Haskin she had known all her life.