And, as she had realized on that roof, staring down at the cement, willing herself to take the step, Beth wanted it too.
Adam hadn’t spoken, not since they’d gotten onto the highway. And Beth didn’t know what to say, so eventually she had closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. She didn’t know what was going to happen next, when they got home, when she had to face Harper again. When she had to face the absence of Reed, who she knew would never come back to her.
Adam, she thought. Remember Adam. She could hear him breathing next to her. She could smell his familiar, comfortable scent, and knew that if she put her hand on his, he wouldn’t pull away. He wasn’t repulsed by her. He didn’t hate her. He wanted to help-he wanted to forgive.
He didn’t think she was worthless. And that was a start.
It seemed silly to hope, to think that anything good could happen or that her life could return to some kind of even balance, something tolerable, not weighed down by guilt and misery. But she couldn’t help it. Behind her, Vegas was dipping beneath the horizon, and it felt like all the horrible things she’d done-or, at least, that one horrible thing she’d done-was receding along with it.
Maybe Harper had been right.
Beth didn’t deserve happiness, forgiveness, or peace.
But maybe somehow she would find them anyway.
About the Author
Robin Wasserman enjoys writing about high school-but wakes up every day grateful that she doesn’t have to relive it. She recently abandoned the beaches and boulevards of Los Angeles for the chilly embrace of the East Coast, as all that sun and fun gave her too little to complain about. She now lives and writes in New York City, which she claims to love for its vibrant culture and intellectual life. In reality, she doesn’t make it to museums nearly enough, and actually just loves the city for its pizza, its shopping, and the fact that at 3 a.m. you can always get anything you need-and you can get it delivered.
You can find out more about what she thinks of New York, L.A., books, shopping, pizza, life, the universe, and everything else at www.robinwasserman.com.
