because capitalism makes my dick hurt”
After the organized part of the meeting, Monica and I approached Ashley. She was sitting at a table talking to a few people. We introduced ourselves and I said, “I know Sherwood Burke. He was at NEOTAP, but he disappeared recently.”
“I know,” she said.
“You know what?”
“Sherwood and I were in the military together. We dated for a while. He sent me this poem in an email but he didn’t say where he was. He just said to read the poem at local rallies for Protest 2.0. He didn’t say anything else. I asked him why he wasn’t in NEOTAP anymore but he didn’t reply. I think he has a plan.”
“A plan to do what?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
Under a Bed
I was doing the body count and could not find Armando Vasquez. I went from the lower-floor to the upper floor several times looking for Armando. I found Lawrence and asked if he’d seen Armando.
“No, but you better find him. Have you checked the passes? He might be out on work-release.”
“Yes, I checked the work passes.”
“Did you check the log book?”
“Yes.”
“Well, look in every room. I’m sure he’s here somewhere.”
I was growing increasingly nervous. What if Armando escaped? What if Armando figured out how to break out of NEOTAP? If Armando escaped, Heidelberg would probably blame me because I did the body count. I considered just marking down his name but if he was really gone, my ass would be screwed.
I checked his room again. I looked under his bed this time.
There was Armando.
I looked at him. He looked me.
He said nothing.
His eyes were ghost-like in the darkness under the bed.
I said, “Armando, get out of there.”
“No.”
I knew I was in deep shit. I was being tested. Heidelberg was somehow going to accuse me of not following procedure.
I said to Armando, “You seriously need to get out of there.”
“No.”
I was becoming really pissed.
“Armando, you need to get out from under there.”
“…have politico problem…”
“What?”
“The case managers no help me. They only help me brain. No have a brain problem. Have politico problem.”
I tried to remember the Spanish I’d learned in college. “Quieres ser escrito arriba?” My Spanish was for sure wrong.
“No, have a politico problem.”
I needed to get him out from under the bed, but I wasn’t allowed to talk to the residents because I was not properly trained in dealing with my fellow human beings. I said fuck it and asked, “What is your problem?”
“Have politico problem.”
“I can’t fix those problems.”
“You no fix anything.”
“If I have to get Imad, you will be in a lot of trouble.”
I stood up and paced around the room. I knew this was bad. I was failing as a guard. I couldn’t even get a resident out from under his bed. Heidelberg was going to fire me. I was never going to get health care and become an adult. I was going to have to go back to working at restaurants and my parents and grandfather would be disappointed in me. I looked under the bed again and no one was there.
“Armando!”
Armando wasn’t there.
I found Lawrence and told him Armando disappeared.
“Go tell Imad,” Lawrence said.
I went to Imad’s office and closed the door. I said to Imad, “Armando disappeared.”
Imad looked at me. He didn’t have a facial expression. He listened like I was explaining something that didn’t matter to him.
Finally, he said, “Okay, I’ll fix it.”
“Where did he go? How does someone disappear?”
Imad said, “Don’t worry, I’ll fix it.”
I left the office. Armando disappeared and no one cared. I saw Imad leave his office and walk to Heidelberg’s office. No one rushed around. Everyone moved without purpose, without a sense of urgency. A human had disappeared and no one cared. What kind of job did I have? After an hour passed, I checked the log book as well as the resident profiles and Armando was gone. There was no evidence of his existence anywhere in NEOTAP.
Edward Choffin
I was handing out mail and Imad came up to me. “Edward Choffin wants to see you.” I stood there terrified. I knew I was going to get fired. The incident earlier in the morning with Armando was going to be too much to handle. I knew I had fucked it up.
A total sense of dread and anxiety came over me. I did not want to look at Edward Choffin. I did not want to hear him. I did not want to go near that man.
I walked into his office.
In the 1950s he would have had a bottle of scotch in the room. He would have poured me a drink and we would have lit up cigarettes. But this was 2011 and there was no scotch and no cigarettes. There was a fat guy in his fifties and a young guy who wanted to keep his job.
I must have looked horrible. I was sweating and felt about ready to cry.
Choffin looked at me and said, “Today you witnessed something unusual. You probably have questions about it. But you aren’t allowed to ask any questions about it, so I will answer your questions, but you aren’t allowed to ask any. I know what you are allowed to ask and not allowed to ask, so I will answer the questions you are allowed to ask, as long as you don’t ask any questions.
“The government provides two main things to society. It provides the control of violence and it provides laws. How laws are made and if they make sense are not our concern at NEOTAP. NEOTAP’s concern is the control of violence, the control of people who break laws. I don’t care if the law makes sense or doesn’t make sense, I don’t even care what the laws are. What we must control at NEOTAP are the humans who break the law. To control humans is not easy. It’s not an easy job we have at NEOTAP. To fulfill your duties, to control humans, you must believe not only in the law, but in NEOTAP. I’m starting to think that you don’t believe in NEOTAP, Michael.”
I didn’t want to lose my job, so I said, “I have not lost faith. I was trying to understand NEOTAP better. It is obvious to me that in the context of modern America NEOTAP is the best possible outlet for criminals to be reformed. I would not under any circumstance prescribe alternative avenues for criminals to be reformed.”
“Good, then we are agreed. The law is not written but authority.”
“Yes, I completely agree.”
I walked out of the office. As I walked down the hall, I realized that he never explained where Armando went.
Meeting Monica’s Dad
Monica’s dad said I needed to come over and help him rake leaves. Monica said it was very important to her dad that a family raked leaves together. She said her father believed that since the trees made the whole family happy by providing fruit and shade, it was a family’s responsibility to pick up the leaves together.
I parked in front of her house and her dad was standing in the yard. He came over and shook my hand and said, “You must be Michael.”
I shook his hand. His grasp was firmer than mine.
He told me his name was Milton.
Monica told me that her dad had worked at the same factory for twenty-two years making plastic parts for automobiles. He worked a forty hour shift five days a week. He had raised Monica alone. Monica hadn’t seen her mother in years and hardly ever mentioned her.
We went into the kitchen and Milton said, “Would you like some apple cider?”
“Okay.”
He poured two glasses of apple cider and said, “I believe in the seasons. In the fall I drink apple cider and eat pumpkin pie. In the winter I drink eggnog and hot chocolate, and I eat soup. In the spring I watch the rain and grow my seedlings. In the summer I eat hot dogs and drink fresh-squeezed lemonade and watch my garden grow.” He said it with a sense of pride, like he was in touch with the earth’s shakings and grumblings.