Lawrence put his hands over his face and said, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
I stood there. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t an aggressive person but Monica was. She continued, “Lawrence, quit fucking around. At least admit that you know people are disappearing.”
Lawrence got into the fetal position on the bed, then he started to cry a little. “Heidelberg would kill me. Heidelberg, Heidelberg, Heidelberg, she brings me into her office every week and tells me I’m doing a horrible job, she hates me, she hates me, she walks by me and whispers to me that I’m doing everything wrong, then she gives me a raise and even a promotion but she doesn’t say why, she keeps telling me I’m doing a horrible job. She brought me into the office yesterday and told me I didn’t know how to take care of the residents, she told me I didn’t know how to run the cafeteria, I thought I was good at running the cafeteria, she told me I needed to yell more at the residents, then she told me two hours later never to yell at the residents, I don’t know, I don’t understand anything, I’ve worked twenty-two days in a row, this is my first day off in twenty-two days, but I can’t stop thinking about Heidelberg, I can never stop thinking about Heidelberg. All I wanted to be growing up was a cop, but they aren’t hiring, so I stay at NEOTAP. I am so afraid of Heidelberg, I am so much more afraid of Heidelberg than you.”
We stood there.
“Maybe we can help you,” Monica said.
“You can’t help me!” Lawrence screamed, still lying in the fetal position, crying.
I asked him, “Why don’t you just quit?”
“I’m afraid of Heidelberg.”
“If you get another job, Heidelberg won’t be there,” I said.
“Heidelberg is everywhere, she sees everything.”
“That is insane,” Monica said.
“Lawrence, why won’t you tell us where people go?” I said.
“I don’t know where they go. I don’t know. I asked once and they told me I wasn’t allowed to ask that question, so I never asked again.”
Monica and I looked at each other, disappointed. I said, “Lawrence, we’re going to leave now, okay?”
“You better leave before Heidelberg finds you here. She might have the room bugged.”
“Why would you think she has your room bugged?” Monica said.
“One time she came up to me and said, ‘I know you were talking shit about me to a girl on the phone.’ Then she walked away.”
“Was it true?” I asked.
“Yeah, I was trying to date a girl, and I talked shit about Heidelberg while on the phone with her.”
Monica said, “Holy shit, Heidelberg has the power to bug phones?”
“Let’s go,” I said, “before we get Lawrence into trouble.”
We didn’t say bye to Lawrence. All he wanted was for us to leave anyway.
We got into Monica’s car and I said, “I think this is Stockholm Syndrome.”
“What the fuck is that?”
“I learned about it in college. It’s when a hostage has compassion for their kidnapper, but it can work with bosses and employees. A boss is terribly cruel ninety percent of the time but ten percent of the time gives them little things like raises and promotions to keep them thinking that the boss actually loves them and is being cruel to them for their own good.”
“Oh god, that is NEOTAP, that is Heidelberg.”
“Yeah, that is totally Heidelberg.”
“Yeah, but how does Heidelberg have the power to bug Lawrence’s phone?”
“I don’t know. Maybe NEOTAP isn’t just NEOTAP. Maybe it’s connected to something bigger like the CIA or FBI.”
“Oh man, this is screwed up,” Monica said.
We talked for hours trying to figure it all out. We went back on the NEOTAP website and looked up Heidelberg’s profile but it said nothing about having the power to wiretap people. Then we wondered if Lawrence would snitch on us for asking him about the disappearing people. I started to feel stressed out. Nothing made any sense. I felt like I was soon going to be gone myself.
Dental Hygiene
I had to sign in Clinton Walker after he came back from the dentist. Clinton Walker was an obese man with an ugly face. We sat at a small round table across from each other. I had to sign several papers and date them. It was essential that documentation was perfect. If documentation was inaccurate I would have to visit Heidelberg and get scolded. I looked at Clinton Walker. His face was pockmarked. His nose was too big. His skin was alabaster and sickly looking.
“What happened at the dentist?”
“They took two teeth out.”
“What was wrong with them?”
“They were rotted.”
“How did they get them out.”
“They just pulled them?”
“Damn.”
“I have to go back next week to get some more pulled.”
“Damn.”
Then he looked right at me and said, “I know you hate this place. I know that everyone who acts like you disappears, gets fired, who the fuck knows, so I will tell you the truth about what NEOTAP has taught me, because I know you won’t tell.”
Suddenly Imad appeared. “I’ll take this from here. Go search lockers,” he told me.
I had Clinton Walker sign the last few pages detailing his dental visit and Imad took him away.
Searching Lockers
I put on a pair of gloves and got a list of lockers that needed to be searched. Searching lockers was boring but for some reason I liked it a lot. I liked looking at the residents’ stuff, seeing what they were reading, looking through their notebooks.
I went into a room and opened a locker; I looked through their socks, put my hand into their shirts and pants, skimmed their notebooks and found a newspaper clipping reporting that Lester Wallace’s brother had died of a drug overdose. I thought about Lester Wallace. He could barely read. He got into trouble constantly for being a slow eater in the cafeteria. He couldn’t get along with the other residents. I checked the rest of Lester’s locker and found five magazines. I called for him over the walkie-talkie.
Lester Wallace came into the room. He stood there, a small, fragile man. I said, “Lester, you have five magazines. You can only have two.”
“I ain’t got no idea where they came from.”
“But Lester, this is your locker. You have to know where they came from. Somebody must have given you these magazines.”
“No, I don’t know.”
“But these magazines are in your locker.”
“I ain’t put no magazines in my locker.”
“Then where did they come from?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Listen, if you don’t admit that these are your magazines then I will have to write you up. Do you want that?”
“No.”
“Okay then, how did you get these magazines?”
“I don’t know, they ain’t mine.”
“Okay, I am going to write you up and put these magazines in storage.”
“You can throw them away.”
“Why would I throw them away?”
“I don’t know.”
He looked confused. He didn’t want to admit to anything. I bet if I’d asked him if he existed, he would have told me he didn’t.
“Okay Lester, go join the others.”
“Seriously, I ain’t got no idea where those magazines came from. Somebody must’ve put them in my locker.”
“To frame you?” I said.
“Yeah, something like that. I ain’t got no five magazines.”
“Seriously?”
“Man, you setting me up for the woo.”
“What the hell does that mean?”