“Dulles looked at us and said that we were fighting the communists, that the communists had no problem killing twenty million of their own people, that if communists took control of America then twenty million people would die and live in gulags, and that we could sacrifice a little innovation for the sake of twenty million people not dying, and all of us in this room not being locked away in a gulag. He said this program would end after we beat the Soviets, that after we beat the Soviets we could return to a purer version of America. We did not ask what that was. We didn’t even know what that meant.
“What was strange was that it came true, every one of our predictions except one. The geographer stated something strange but true. He said that nations are cultures that share the same language, but they are more culture than language and culture is derived from landscape. He said that the essence of culture was determined by the buildings people lived in, what they ate, how they worshipped, what music they listened to and what they talked about and that all things were derived from the landscape, that culture arose organically from the elements provided by the landscape that the humans were engulfed in. He brought out a map and said that every nation has become a nation because nature has blocked them in from the other groups. He cited islands, then nations blocked in by mountains, then he cited deep jungles and deserts. He then showed us how the weather in the south changed dramatically from the north, and then he showed us the mountains and deserts that separate parts of America from one another. He stated that America would have an unnatural culture if we forced everyone to believe in the same things, eat the same things, talk about the same things, listen to the same music and do the same things. That trying to keep people together through television and national media wasn’t sustainable. He said that it would be very hard for America to sustain itself because geographically it shouldn’t be one nation, that eventually when communication and when quick and easy travel broke down, there would be a division in culture. But he said that could take a hundred years and was not important when it came to defeating the Soviets.
“We defeated the Soviets. I don’t know why anyone is still using that old paradigm. I figured they would have come up with a new one by now,” Nevitsky concluded.
“But we aren’t,” Monica said, “it’s still the same shit. The Soviets are gone but we’re still fighting them.”
“Oh, we aren’t fighting the Soviets anymore. I could see when Reagan lowered taxes and deregulated the banks, the wealthy had the intelligence, as in CIA intelligence, to know the Soviets had lost and would disappear soon. There were no communists to fight anymore. Why not deregulate everything and destroy the unions? Capitalism and democracy had won, so we went crazy and did anything we wanted. But obviously that didn’t work.”
“But why are they still trying to control people with the old system?” said Monica.
“I suppose because there has been no reason to change it.”
“A reason?”
“There are very few reasons given in life.”
“Oh my god, you are nuts. Everyone is fucking nuts.”
“No, listen. It might seem terrible and absurd, but if you look back, you’ll see we had no choice. We needed to beat the Soviets. That was reason enough.”
“But in the end you became the Soviets. We have a huge bureaucratic government and huge bureaucratic corporations. Even me, little me, all I wanted to do was work on computers and I ended up a bureaucrat.”
Monica felt a terrible pain in her body. She wanted to shoot Nevitsky for creating The Five Pillars, she wanted to destroy everything, she wanted all the pain and fear to end, she wanted everything to be simple. She wanted her old life to come back. She wanted to sit with Mike at a coffee shop discussing the news and what movie they should watch on Netflix. She wanted everything to be normal. But she knew it was over. The normal would never return. She had seen things, she had thought thoughts, she had felt things that would never allow her to feel normal again.
Monica said, “So where is my boyfriend? You must know. You must have some connection at least.”
“Maybe we have become our enemy. Maybe we studied them so hard, eventually we became them.”
“I don’t care about all these stories. I want to know where Michael is.”
Nevitsky looked at her and said, “I will try to help.”
He went into another room and made a phone call. Monica could hear him talking on the phone. She heard Nevitsky yell over the phone, “It doesn’t matter. We’ve already lost. We finally lost to the Soviets. Just tell me you’ll help.”
Monica sat in the nicely decorated room with an old grand piano and black and white pictures of people long dead. She didn’t understand Nevitsky. Nevitsky was a great man who conquered the world. He was a man with a long history of rewards and power. He had dined with famous people all over the world. Monica was just an awkward girl from some nameless town that no one cared about. She had an IT degree from a state university and had never won awards her whole life.
When Nevitsky reentered the room Monica said, “Why are you helping me? I’m just a little nothing of a human.”
Nevitsky replied, “No, you aren’t little. A little person would never bolt into my house demanding to know the truth. You may not be one of the elite, but you have the determination of a warrior, and the elite cannot exist without warriors.”
“What is the news?” She felt terrible inside. She needed another Xanax. She felt out of control. She felt powerless. The only thing keeping her together was the gun under her coat.
Nevitsky said, “I have someone who can help you. He knows the secret you are seeking. I didn’t ask him what the secret was. I am too old to care about such things anymore.”
Monica looked at Nevitsky and said, “Thank you.”
Nevitsky handed her a piece of paper. “This man will be at this diner in this location at this time. Do not miss it. He will be wearing a cowboy hat. He’s in his forties. Do not pull a gun on him. He is a trained CIA agent and will be able to disarm you and kill you so fast you won’t even know that you died.” Nevitsky paused. “I now end my life as a criminal. All my life I have fought against criminal behavior and now, in my last days, I will die a criminal.”
“Maybe being a criminal isn’t that bad after all,” Monica said.
Dr. Charles Nevitsky poured himself another scotch, sat down in his favorite chair, and stared out the window at the wind blowing the colored leaves of the trees. He did not smile. He did not sigh. He just looked.