“What kind of fucking camp is this?” Monica said.
“A camp for those who think differently. Imagine NEOTAP times a thousand. All day long they must attend classes, listen to speeches on responsibility, on the Five Pillars.”
Monica stood there. She didn’t know what to think. “But why me? I’m just some random IT girl.”
The man looked at her and said, “Because you have to.”
“How am I supposed to defeat people with high-powered machine guns?”
“Because they are idiots. Just use your intelligence. The people in charge now have been selected because they are afraid of thinking. Just outthink them.”
He got in his truck and drove away. He didn’t look back. He didn’t wave. It was over. He had other things to do.
Monica stood there in front of the diner, amongst the cornfields. She took the supply bag and put it into her car and drove to the gas station where the CIA agent told her to abandon her car.
The Email Via Cellphone
Monica lay on a bed in a boring-looking hotel room. There was one picture on the wall. It was a cowboy riding a horse through the desert. She looked at the picture and thought, “Am I a cowboy?” She remembered watching cowboy movies with her dad when she was young. She never understood why her dad wanted to watch a bunch of white guys shoot each other in the desert. But she started to understand it was about adventure. She kept thinking about her dad and Michael.
She went to the bathroom and showered. She knew she needed to get nice and clean before walking through the desert. She lay on the bed and took another Xanax. The Xanax felt good. It felt like a soft waterfall, cool water pouring down on her. A soft breeze on a hot, humid day. She wanted to feel peaceful. It was hard though. She couldn’t stop worrying. It was like life was relentless with responsibility. She fell asleep watching television. The television stayed on all night while she slept.
When she awoke in the morning she brushed her teeth and made a small pot of coffee. She put her clothes on and noticed a small envelope under the door. Monica felt panic and picked it up, walked over to the bed and sat down. She opened the letter carefully and unfolded the pages. The words were typed neatly in Helvetica. On the top of the letter, written in pen: “From Ashley/keep going”
The letter was from Mike, apparently typed up on a cellphone and sent as an email to Ashley, who printed it out and delivered it to Monica:
monica
it is michael
ive disappeared
i was able to write you this email because burke had a cellphone smuggled in the camp where im staying
this is what happened
i got to work
standing there drinking latte from starbucks
berg comes up to me says michael, come with me to office
didnt want to go to office
wnted to tell her to fuck herself
shld have
shld have ran out of the building
didnt
went to office with berg
she told me to sit down
sat down
she sat down
both sitting
she asked if i wanted soda to drink said okay
berg left office
got soda
gave it to me
drank it
started 2 feel weird
last memory seeing berg sitting there with stone cold facial expression
berg face no humanity no life nothing
passed out
woke up in airplane
looked
fucking insane
was on an airplane
panic
knew something was wrong
saw two men in their 20s dressed in military fatigues
machine guns
was cuffed 2 chair
knew i was fucked
knew i had disappeared
been arrested
thought
this must be a mistake
is this a joke
why would the govt arrest me
im boring
i go to work
go home
do nothing with my life
drive the speed limit
im boring
person that plays by rules
what rule did i break
couldnt think of 1 law i broke to get stuck in an airplane and guarded by men with machine guns
why would they need machine guns
fucking machine guns
machine guns are scary monica
never been violent in my life
insane
didnt understand reasoning behind arrest and machine guns
knew it was horrible
that i was fucked
didnt say anything at first
pretended was passed out
listened 2 soldiers talk hoping would hear something that would help me
soldiers kept talking abt their wives kids
1 soldier was excited his kid was starting to walk
drove him nuts that his kid ws putting everything in his mouth
other soldier told him he had a 7 y/o
said his kid would get over that stage
move on to do other strange crazy things
they both laughed
they talked about their kids like they really loved them
nothing said about where we were going or my situation
decided to wake
ask them a question hey
they looked at me
said why am i on this plane should be at work
soldier with 7 y/o we can’t help you
but what are you doing now
we are guarding you
you don’t know why im here
soldier tired of hearing me speak said
we arent the people that can help you we have orders
what about my rights
soldier said
please be quiet
sat quiet
machine guns make a person quiet
they couldnt help me
they had orders
after an hour the plane landed
soldiers uncuffed me from the seat
took me off the plane
looked around
it was the desert
but what desert
it could be any desert
could be sahara or gobi
asked soldiers where am i
soldier with child learning to walk in a desert
he laughed
he didnt care about me
it was hard to be around humans that cared so little about me
they cared nothing about giving me attention or anything i wanted
they had no desire to fulfill any of my needs
they led me to a large compound
was terrified
wanted to fall on the ground
cry
knew that wasnt an option
it would have made things worse
saw machine gunners posted on towers
saw people that werent dressed in military fatigues
realized this is where people went when they disappeared
led me in compound
compound here is new very clean
led me into a room
had me sit on a plastic chair at round table
soldiers left
locked the door behind them
sat there staring into space
left me nothing to read
not even a magazine
put my head on arms
went to sleep
hours passed
no one came to speak to me
tried lying on floor
soldier came in room
told me to get back in chair
got back chair
more hours passed
must have been in chair 20 hrs
woman came in wearing nice military clothes
not fatigues
class As
think they are called
was a white woman in her 30s
slightly overweight
she said my name is mrs techak i am your case worker how are you doing today michael
want to know why im here