Gwen stared at him and the truth cut deeply. “You have fallen in love with her.”
He hesitated only a moment before nodding. “That, yes, is true.”
“Does she realize?”
“I have a fair feeling that she is well aware, yes.”
“Does she . . . return your feelings for her?”
“I desperately hope that she does.”
“How dare you . . . shame me like this? How dare she come as a welcome guest only to—”
He pounded a fist on his desk, and the fire in his eyes had her shrinking back in her chair. “I dare you to finish that thought, Gwen. I dare you to logically finish that thought.”
She kept silent as he leaned forward, drilling her with his gaze. “What happened with Isabel was not planned or expected. Just as with you and Lance, it was fated to be. Would I change it if I could, as you seem to want to dismiss history? Not one chance in Hades. Other than that pesky problem that I am not free to ask her to marry me, I would not change a single thing.”
In the past, tears had always melted Arthur’s heart. Gwen knew they no longer had the power to move him. At least not her own tears. I will not cry. I will not cry.
“If not for what happened with Lance ...”
“But it did.”
“But if it did not?”
“Isabel would merely be another royal guest. Is that what you want to hear? That I would ne’er have betrayed my vows? If so, you would be right. I would most likely have looked upon her as another fresh mind to add to the mix of those who will gather here to meet and exchange ideas. But I already knew, Gwen. I already had my heart broken by you. When I saw her, I recognized that I had gotten over the heartbreak. And I felt free to want another.”
“I see.”
“I have no desire to hurt you, Gwen. This is not some kind of revenge. Had you not asked, I would not have said a word, as it is no one’s business but mine and Isabel’s. But you asked. And as you know, I value truth. And you deserve as much.”
She took a breath and squared her shoulders. “I realize my next question will sound selfish and self-serving, Arthur, but I must ask. Should there come a time when we are able to accomplish this no-fault, what will happen to me? What will happen to Lance?”
“You two will be free to marry.”
“But where? And how?”
“I have thought of this. If Lancelot prefers to stay in Briton, rather than return to his homeland, then I will lease land to the two of you, over which you will preside as leaders of whate’er you call it. You may start a new life together.”
She swallowed, hard. “But—”
“I anticipate your next question and will not allow you to humiliate yourself by forcing you to ask. I will take care of you for the rest of your days, Gwen. I will not leave you destitute. You will always be kept in comfort. That portion of my promises to you I will keep. I have no wish to see you struggle.”
“Lance will not allow us to be on your dole, Arthur.”
“Should he stay as a soldier at Camelot, he will be recompensed well. He is, after all, one of my finest and most loyal.” His smile was sadly cynical. “On the battlefield.”
“He loves you as a father, Arthur. It tears him up inside.”
“You may or may not take this as true, Gwen, but I believe that with everything in me. Did I not believe it, he would no longer be drawing breath.”
Gwen rose on shaky legs. “Believe this, Arthur. I also love you.”
“I believe that as well.”
“For then I would also not be drawing breath.”
“There is no chance I would have you harmed, Gwen. I cannot say as much for those so loyal that they would seek vengeance for their king.”
She shuddered. “All right, Arthur, so what now? How do we go forward from this moment?”
“You are queen. As such, you will attend to the duties asked of you in that capacity. To all around, nothing has changed.”
“Yes.”
“You have always been an excellent queen, Gwen. Do not begin to fake it now.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Discretion, Gwen. Discretion.”
“Yes.”
“And, please, no more experiments with new foods. I truly do not want a repeat of the mushrooms. Most importantly, do not ever attempt to try them in foods being served to all.”
“I will not.”
Arthur stood. “One last thought, Gwen, that I must insist you carry with you at all times.”
“Yes?”
“Isabel saved your life. But not for her quick ministrations, we would not be having this conversation.”
“I am aware.”
“Whether you believe it or nay, she does truly care about you. She sympathizes with all of the twisted emotions swirling around us all. Should anything untoward happen to her, should I even see an unexplained scratch upon her person, you will see wrath as you have ne’er even imagined.”
Finally the tears Gwen had been trying so desperately to blink back came to surface. “She saved my life once days ago, Arthur. She came to me this morn to attempt to save it once again. This I will ne’er forget.”
“I hope you do not. As strange as this might sound to you, she would make an excellent friend and ally.”
“And as strange as this may sound, Arthur, I would so very much like to make her both.”
He nodded, walking her to the door. “You will not be sorry.”
“I will not let on that I know of this love betwixt you.”
“No need to. I shall tell her this evening. As you should tell Lance.”
She nodded, then squeezed the back of his hand. “This time I shall not disappoint you.”
She started to leave and then turned back. “Do any of the servants know?”
“Why ask you this?”
“So I am fully aware of who I may speak frankly in front of.”
“James and Mary. They know. At least, I am presuming so.” His lips tipped up in a slight grin. “They intervened in a rather amusing way when Isabel and I had a slight misunderstanding.”
She nodded, although she could not believe all that had transpired as she lounged in her bed. “I am thinking it would make a good tale one day.”
“It would indeed.”
She waved toward his desk. “I will leave you to your planning. And I thank you, Arthur, for your honesty and your . . . compassion.”
“And I thank you, as well, for your honesty this day. I wish you happiness, Gwen. I truly do.”
“I know. I wish the same for you.”
ARTHUR closed the door behind Gwen, because privacy was something he craved as he pondered all that had just been said.
“I will take ‘The Most Happy Man in Camelot at This Moment’ for a thousand, Alex,” he whispered.
“Who is King Arthur?” he answered himself. “Correct!”
He shook his head, smiling, as he unrolled the parchment. “Isabel, my love, you have most certainly made me batty.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ONCE again, Gwen found herself outside of a door, ready to knock. It simply baffled her, the sense of humility she had learned to possess, just since the morning. This day had been trying, fun, enlightening, heartbreaking, and it was not even half over.
She heard laughter behind the door and hesitated.
“He did not!” she heard a young female voice say. “You jest.”
“I kid you not. And then he attempted a kiss.”
That voice she easily marked as Isabel’s.
“After tossing a toad down your bodice?”
Gwen seriously doubted the two were discussing Arthur. Though he loved a good jest, a toad in a woman’s bosom did not sound like his sense of fun.
“It was his way of showing affection, I suppose,” Isabel said. “After all, we were eight at most.”
“It sounds to me, lady, that his attempt at courting was somewhat misguided.”
“You think? I thought it such a loving gesture.”
The two women again broke into laughter. Gwen almost hated to ruin the mood. But more, she had hopes she would be included in the enjoyment.