‘The land don’t belong to you. No it don’t. Your houses and your clothes and your chirren too. None’a them belong to you.’
A small boy was sitting on the other side of Theresa, his eyes filled with tears.
‘It’s all the love of Jesus, the love of God. If he wants it, then he’ll take it, an’ it’s not fo’ us to question his infinite will. This life is just a test for your love an’ your faith.
‘I feel love for my land and my labours. I feel rage when I am being mistreated and cheated. But all that takes a backseat to the love of God.’ Reverend Peters was crying but his face was full of light. ‘And when the time comes it will be his scriptures I look to for my answers.’
He bowed his head again.
Somehow he must have signalled the pianist because she started playing softly. Brother Decker got in front of the podium and said, ‘Sunday school will begin at half past nine at Miss Trevor’s house. There will be a meeting of the church council directly after this service.’
We were all quiet in the balmy morning outside the chapel. I wondered at the sermon’s meaning. I could see something in what Miss Dixon told me. But there were parts that I just didn’t understand. Why did I have to live so close to disaster? Why would God want that?
It was a mystery but I didn’t have time to think about it because that’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
‘Where Raymond?’ daddyReese asked me.
The whites of his eyes had gone yellow, and the smell of his breath was like the stench of a corpse. I told him that I hadn’t seen Mouse in a few days.
He grabbed my wrist and leaned against me; he hissed into my face, ‘You tell him that I don’t care what happens. I see my soul in hell fo’ I let up on a dime, you hear that?’
‘I hear ya, Reese.’
‘Not one fuddn’ dime!’
‘I ain’t seen’im, Reese, an’ I don’t know when I’m gonna.’
Reese pulled on my arm with one hand and went for his pocket with the other. He was weak and sick but I wasn’t too spry myself. I don’t know if I had the strength to hold him from cutting my throat.
‘Hi, Reese,’ Momma Jo said. ‘Been a long time since I seen you at church.’
At the sound of her voice Reese let me go and fell back. ‘Get away from me, witch. Get away from me.’ And he turned, running from her.
‘What he want, Easy?’
‘I dunno, Jo. He want Mouse, not me.’
When we all walked back to the store Jo said to me, ‘I’m havin’ supper wit’ Domaque and Ernestine, Easy, why’ont you come on out?’
‘I’m sick, Jo,’ I said to her feet. ‘I gotta get some rest.’
She put her hand on my throat again.
‘You is hot,’ she said.
Chapter Eleven
When I got to the room a calm had set in on me. I was wondering if the minister was right. Was everything I experienced the whim of God or his test to see if I was worthy? I laid down on the bed and let the strength flow from my arms and legs; and in my weakness I gave up my responsibilities.
I thought about how Mouse was like Job’s devil; how he had called daddyReese the devil. I didn’t even care about the dogs.
When I opened my eyes Mouse was sitting on the crate facing me.
‘How you feel, Ease?’
‘li’l sick I guess, but ‘I’ma leave soon as I can walk down t’the car.’
‘Well, by then everything should be done.’ There was a serious tone in his voice, not the brash way he usually sounded.
‘What you tryin’ t’do, Raymond? What’s all this mess wit’ Clifton an’ Ernestine an’ Reese?’
‘It’s more than that. I got wheels turnin’ all over. Wheels inside’a wheels, like a great big ole clock.’
I didn’t have the strength to even ask him anything but he started talking again.
‘Yo’ daddy run out on you when you was a boy, right, Ease? I know that that prob’ly hurt you. You prob’ly want him back so bad. I know how it feel. I was hopin’ fo’a daddy when I’as a chile. Momma loved me but you know kids ain’t never satisfied so I wanted me a daddy too. I always be pesterin’ her ‘bout my real daddy, an’ I knew I was hurtin’ her. So she married Reese. She wouldn’ta done it if not for my pesterin’.’ Mouse’s dear eyes had the light of honesty in them. ‘An’ he kilt her. Abused her an’ hurt her through me. Reese is a harsh man. A woods man. The kind of man that likes to hurt. She knew what he was but she did it for me.’
Mouse clasped his hands between his knees. ‘So it’s like I killed her by never bein’ satisfied wit’ what we had. ‘Cause you know from the first day in that house me an’ Reese was at it; an’ me an’ Navrochet, that’s Reese’s blood son me an’ Navrochet was at it too. They had my momma workin’ and toilin’ while they was just as mean as they could be. An’ they come down on me too. I was young, Easy, an’ I could take it. But they wore Momma out.’
Sunlight came through the muslin curtains with a small breeze. I was breathing softly and watching the cloth wave; I had forgotten Mouse was there until he went on.
‘I thought I had let it go. Before she died Momma borrowed some money from Sweet William an’ sent me t’Houston when I was still just a kid. That was about the same time you come into town. I had me a new life an’ I never even thought about Momma or Reese or Pariah at all. Cousin Pernell an’ his wife Justine took good care’a me until I could see after myself. Momma axed Sweet William to drop by an’ check in on me now and then.’ Mouse smiled. ‘I grew up like a weed an’ all I cared about was my friends and a good time. But Etta changed that. It’s not like she reminds me’a Momma or nuthin’ like that; you know my momma was a slight girl with a little smile and soft ways. But it’s what we did together kept remindin’ me of the ole days ‘fo’ she married Reese.
‘You know Etta always have breakfast waitin’ fo’me in the mo’nin’. I got a hundred girls suck my dick all night long but who gonna worry ‘bout how I be eatin’ in the mo’nin’? An’ when we talk she know how I feel. An’ when I love her I always be thinkin’ ‘bout babies; I see her sucklin’ my son... An’ then you know what I be thinkin? I think about Reese. I think about how he hurt me an’ how he kilt Momma an’ I know he gotta pay fo’it. That’s why I come out here; ‘cause Momma wanna see me wit’ a fine weddin’. If she was alive she’d get a church and all her friends and they’d cook fo’a week and she wouldn’t let me lift a finger or spend a dime. An’ since she cain’t do it I’ma make sure that Reese do it fo’her.’
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to warn him about Reese and ask him just to come back home with me. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was sick but I don’t think I was too sick to talk. I just felt helpless. What was I going to do? Raymond couldn’t help what he was; Raymond couldn’t stop himself. That’s what I thought then; maybe it was true.
‘But now, Easy, I’m scared,’ Mouse said. “Cause I know I got Reese by his nuts wit’ that doll. He from voodoo country an’ a curse gonna tear him up, I know that. But now I’m ascared he gonna die fo’ I get what’s mine. My li’l spies be tellin* me ‘bout how Reese is sick. But I gotta have that man’s money. He cain’t die ‘fore that.’
Then he was still, sitting there wringing his hands. I didn’t have anything to say or maybe it was all a dream. Because I had a terrible fever that night. There was nothing I could do to stop what was going to happen. And as much as I knew I didn’t know everything, I’d like to think that if I knew what Mouse’s plans were I’d’ve tried to stop him right then. But maybe what happened was ordained like that minister said. Maybe it really was out of my hands.
It wasn’t until years later, after the war, that I understood about Mouse; long after I’d learned to read and write I came across the meaning of the word that described him: inspiration. Raymond wasn’t smarter than the next man; he didn’t do anything new in the world. But he created lead from gold. He created his revenge on Reese from his love of EttaMae or maybe he found that revenge in her love of him. He changed the world to fit his twisted feelings.