“This can’t be happening!” Lieutenant Katsuragi shouted.
Rei couldn’t believe his eyes. The missiles were targeted at two planes. One was very clearly shown on the display to be the ghost plane. But Yukikaze was showing one other target as well.
Yukikaze had targeted herself.
“She’s self-destructing,” the lieutenant continued. “Yukikaze wants to blow herself up!”
Rei was dumfounded.
He followed the missiles’ contrails with his eyes. The one targeting the ghost plane made a sudden flat turn while the one targeting Yukikaze flew on and then began quickly climbing far ahead of them. It was thrusting itself onto a course describing an enormous loop.
The ghost plane began to jink and dodge. Banking sharply, it was far away from them in the blink of an eye. The missile began to correct its course to continue its pursuit. They could detect intense jamming waves coming from the ghost plane, but Yukikaze had left herself a way to guide the missiles even if their guidance systems were being interfered with, and began adjusting her course and speed. In other words, Yukikaze was flying herself to the missile’s impact point.
It was an odd way to carry out self-destruction. Yukikaze’s own self-destruction package wouldn’t activate unless the crew’s ejection seats had been fired. This was the only way she could do it with crew aboard.
There was no way for Lieutenant Katsuragi to eject. Ejecting from the plane in this situation would mean annihilation. He’d wind up like those human duplicates from the ghost plane. Their only chance for survival was for Captain Fukai to evade the missile.
“Take evasive action!” Lieutenant Katsuragi yelled, his voice cracking slightly. He was already regretting his proposal. If he hadn’t mentioned the missiles, Yukikaze might not have thought to do this. “Yukikaze’s admitting that she’s lost!”
Rei reflexively started to flip the dogfight switch on, then stopped when he heard the lieutenant say that. “No. Yukikaze isn’t saying she’s lost.”
“It’ll hit us any second!” said Lieutenant Katsuragi, looking up. Rei checked the main display.
These are not warning shots… JAM.
Yukikaze was serious. She wasn’t admitting defeat. She was doing the only thing to avoid it. Saying these weren’t warning shots was the only way she could show the JAM how serious she was about this. Why? To save herself. Yukikaze wouldn’t abandon a chance for survival. If she admitted defeat, there would be no need to announce it. She could just silently eject her crew and then self-destruct.
Yukikaze was telling the JAM in no uncertain terms that unless they let her out of this airspace, she was going to destroy herself. Rei decided that she was bargaining with the JAM. For the terms of her self-destruction? No, not at all. Yukikaze’s objective wasn’t to destroy herself.
Yukikaze must have understood why the JAM had lured her in here. They had a use for Yukikaze’s crew because they were beings the JAM didn’t understand. She’s guessed they want us captured alive even if negotiations broke down—that’s why they took such care not to kill us, Rei thought. But Yukikaze was saying that she wouldn’t allow that, and she was prepared to wreck the JAM’s plans right here and now.
This wasn’t an act of suicide on Yukikaze’s part. It was combat tactics against the JAM. She was telling them she was prepared to die. If they ignored it, they would all die in her self-destruction, but from Yukikaze’s point of view, she would have stopped the JAM’s plan, so it wouldn’t be a defeat.
Yukikaze is taking me hostage, Rei thought. She was saying “Let me out, or I kill the crew. I’m serious!” She was practically saying that she could kill her crew at any time…
God, what a bitch.
Rei’s fear of Yukikaze renewed itself. She was a being willing to sacrifice human lives in order to beat the JAM.
“It’s no use.”
As he heard Lieutenant Katsuragi speak behind him, Rei prepared himself for the end. He didn’t feel betrayed by Yukikaze. He understood what she wanted to do. In the end, she didn’t want to lose to the JAM. Neither do I, he thought as he consciously relaxed his grip on the flight stick. By not attempting to interfere with automaneuver mode, Rei could let Yukikaze know how he felt.
A feeling of satisfaction filled his heart, driving away the fear. Never before had he felt such a deep mutual understanding with her. A strange euphoria came over him, and Rei was no longer conscious of how unreal the whole situation had become.
The main display cleared as Yukikaze showed the time till impact, then added a single word.
Thanks.
Rei understood that she was paying him respect by showing him the countdown. It almost felt as if she were announcing, “We will be landing soon. Thanks for flying with me.” When he thought about it, they’d been flying together a long time, and this might have been Yukikaze’s way of saying goodbye. If this really was the end, it would be a good death for them both. He didn’t care what anyone else thought about it.
Lieutenant Katsuragi grabbed the handles atop his seat that would activate the ejection sequencer with both hands, but couldn’t move. He wasn’t paralyzed with fear over what would happen to him if he ejected at supersonic speed. He simply couldn’t move. He could see the warhead of the missile thrusting toward them with his naked eye now. The lens of the target seeker on the tip looked like a single eye staring at him. The lieutenant closed his eyes, not wanting to see what was coming.
4
YUKIKAZE DISPLAYED THE time till impact in hundredths of a second. As the numbers streamed by too fast to distinguish, they began to slow down, yet it didn’t feel strange to Rei at all. My brain is kicking into overdrive because I have to concentrate till the very last moment on not flipping the maneuver switch, Rei thought. He anxiously waited for the readout to reach 0.00.
Almost there… Almost there…
At last, Rei saw it happen. For an instant, he felt the flash. It grew bright all around him, so bright that it became difficult to see the readout on the main display.
But the shock wave and pain he expected never came. So, Rei thought serenely, this is what the moment of death feels like.
The flash wasn’t fading at all, as if time had been dramatically slowed down. Why weren’t things fading to black? he wondered. Why can I still think? Is there really a world for humans after death? As he was thinking these thoughts, Rei then sensed that the missile was still overhead and hadn’t exploded.
He didn’t physically see it with his eyes. He just knew. Right overhead, the lens of the missile’s seeker was looking down on him like a black eye.
The counter hadn’t reached zero yet, he realized. The hundredths of a second column hadn’t yet reached zero. He suddenly became aware that he was reaching for the flight stick.
That’s right, Rei Fukai. It’s not too late. You can still make it out of this. Evade the missile. Don’t accept death at Yukikaze’s hand.
He sensed a voice speaking to him. Was it the JAM? Or perhaps it was a part of him that still wanted to survive. Even as he thought this, his heart told him not to give in to its temptations. The voice continued.
You don’t really want to die. You may have decided that being killed by Yukikaze wouldn’t be death, but you’re wrong. She’s killing you. If you act now, you could still survive. I can stop her. Answer me. Do as I say.
“Fuck off,” Rei screamed in his heart. “No!”