“Now what?” She turned to face him, deciding offense was a much better strategy than defense.
“Now we get where we’re going. And we get to know each other better.” He reached out and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. She nearly shivered at his gentle touch but did her best to hide the reaction. This man set her senses on fire, and she wasn’t used to it at all.
“I really liked your family,” Jim startled her by saying. His eyes spoke of regret and sympathy. “I was cocky as a young agent. I thought I had it all over ninety-nine percent of the rest of the world. Your father showed me how wrong I was. He took me down a peg or ten, then rebuilt me into something better. He taught me humility and the value of so many things I’d taken for granted before. He was a good man, and the best teacher I ever had.”
The softly voiced words touched her heart. “I miss him.”
“I know,” Jim answered simply. She hadn’t meant to show her vulnerability, but it had been so long since she’d been able to talk about her father with someone who’d actually known him. “I never knew my father,” Jim went on. “He died in the war before I was born. He was a special ops soldier, and it was because of him that I went into the service in the first place. Then the Company approached me and by that point I believed I was invincible. They sent me to your dad, and he taught me the truth. I looked up to him. He was the father I never had for the year I studied with him. I think of him all the time and wonder what he would have done in my current situation. His teachings still guide me.”
Tears gathered in her eyes. “He would have been proud of what you’ve accomplished here, Jim. I know he really liked you. So did my brothers.”
“They were good guys, Gina. It was because of them that I ignored you. You were too young, but I couldn’t help but watch you. Your brother Paolo caught me looking once—just once—and he didn’t even have to say anything. He had that stone face of disapproval down pat. One look and I knew he didn’t like me watching you. After that, I made sure to keep my eyes to myself. At least when he was around.”
She grinned, remembering her eldest brother. “He sure could glare, couldn’t he?” A little laugh slipped out of her mouth. “Peter and I used to call it his death glare.”
“Peter was like lightning in a bottle. He had the fastest punches, blocks and kicks of anyone I ever sparred against. The only one I thought ever had a chance of beating his speed was you, Gina, when I watched you in the Olympics.”
“You were there?”
Jim nodded. “I was working a case in Prague, but I made time and bought scalper tickets at ridiculous prices to get in to most of your matches in Antwerp. You were poetry in motion. A credit to your family and one of the most elegant and commanding duelists I’d ever seen. You inspired a lot of kids to take up martial arts. I thought you were a great spokesperson for what was becoming a dying art.”
Gina was touched that he’d come to see her during the most important sporting competition of her life. Since those long ago days she’d fought more desperate battles, of course. The fights in the Olympic ring had been sparring only. Nobody really wanted to kill the other fighter. There were rules and a referee. Since the cataclysm, she’d learned how to really fight. Life or death, no holds barred, no referees and no second chances. She’d become harder. Faster. Tougher.
“I sometimes wish…”
“What?” His gentle tone coaxed her to speak.
“I wish I could go back to those simple days when a fight was for fun, not for survival.”
Jim sighed long and hard, turning back to scan the rails zipping by in front and underneath them.
“We all wish that, Gina. The trick is to not get caught up in dreams of what was. It’s good to remember, but unhealthy to dwell. We have to move forward, not back, not stay in place.”
“So that’s why you agreed to this journey? I was a little surprised you moved so quickly on the information I brought you.”
Jim looked at her, a smile in his eyes. “You’re not the only one who knows a precog. Tory isn’t completely sane with her talk of angels, but she’s been right about too many of her oddball predictions for me to ignore her. She’s been telling me for weeks, in her veiled way, that I was going to take a trip somewhere cold. Canada is north, therefore cold in Tory-speak. I figure this is the trip fate has in mind. It’s a bonus that I get to go with you—a ghost out of my past whom I thought long dead.”
“I’m not a ghost, Jim.” She didn’t like his wistful tone. He made it sound like she was haunting him—in a bad way.
“Yes you are, Gina. You were the girl I could never have. For all of Paolo’s death glares and all the respect I had for your dad and family, I still couldn’t help myself. I watched you when they couldn’t see. Even after I stopped training with your dad, I followed your career. I took time off from a vital national security case to go watch you win Olympic gold. I watched you from afar.” He didn’t seem pleased with the memories. “And now you’re not so far away anymore, and everything’s changed.”
“You don’t have to sound so happy about it,” she muttered. If this was some kind of declaration, he was really screwing it up.
“I’m saying this badly.” He turned in his seat to face her fully. “Gina, I can’t help my nature. I can’t help the need I feel to watch over you and make certain you’re safe. I know intellectually that you can take care of yourself, but the caveman in me wants to lock you up and make sure nothing ever harms you again.”
Okay, this sounded better. Her temper began to subside as he bared his innermost thoughts.
“When this trip is over, I want you to come live with us in Colorado. Your family is gone, but I’m here and I want to take care of you, Gina. I need to take care of you.”
Well. She didn’t know what to think about that. Did he mean like a sister? Or something more? She couldn’t tell from the earnest look on his face, and he didn’t even try to touch her. Did he want to be her lover or just her friend?
She thought she could handle the former, but being only a friend would drive her batty after the pleasure he’d shown her. She sensed that had been only the tip of the iceberg of what could be between them—if he wanted her. And that was a big if from the way he was looking at her.
He didn’t look like a man declaring undying love. Then again, he didn’t even look like a man who wanted to get into her pants. He sat there looking more like a friend and that depressed the hell out of her.
“We’ll see.”
“Gina…” He almost growled at her, and she knew he didn’t like her answer.
“Look, Jim. You have a duty to your people. I have a duty to mine. The Zxerah are my family now. The Patriarch looks after us. He sent me here and after this mission is complete, I have to report back to him. In all likelihood he’s already plotting where to send me next.”
“Is he your lover?”
The accusatory tone surprised her. Maybe he was thinking in more intimate terms after all. He sure sounded jealous, but she wasn’t able to read him that well. Still, she had to laugh at the idea of her and the Patriarch as a couple.
“He’s good looking enough, I suppose, but if you ever meet him, you’ll understand why that idea is ludicrous. The Patriarch is even scarier than my dad was. He’s the best martial artist I’ve ever met, and he’s the nearest thing to a holy man—like those old Tibetan monks, or the Dalai Lama, or something—that you’ll ever meet. He’s a force of nature. And completely out of my league. Besides, he’s Alvian. He has no feelings, though I’ve seen him struggling to understand.”
“You’re close to him,” Jim accused.