Joseph gave an Italian half-shrug with two hands in the air about shoulder height. "If you're talking about yesterday's headline, what do you think I can do about it?"
The chief stared right through Joseph for a full three seconds before he said, "If it stopped there it wouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately, the front page isn't the only place that is dealing with the debate. It's affecting the emergency room, the jail, and business in half the bars in town. If it were just up-timers, it wouldn't be bad at all. The pro-Jimmy people know he's is a jerk. The problem is the down-timers who seem to think he's some sort of Saint Robin Hood."
"You have got to be kidding!" Joseph blurted.
The chief shook his head. "Nope. A lot of the down-timers have had that exact opinion of Jimmy, ever since he helped out the Anabaptists. When he organized the armed guard to watch over that start-up church just outside of the Ring until things calmed down, he made a lasting impression with a lot of down-timers.
"Mind you," the chief continued, "most down-timers don't have any use for the Anabaptists, but that's the really strange thing. While they don't like them, they see them as German when it comes to the anti-kraut attitude of Club 250. Somewhere they got the opinion that, while Jimmy drank at Club 250, he was pro-kraut."
The chief took off his hat and sighed. "It isn't true, of course. Jimmy never was pro-anything, unless it was pro-arguing."
Debbie spoke up. "Yeah, so I heard. Is it true one time he got in an argument one night and ended up in a fight and in jail; then the next night he got into it again arguing the other side and landed in jail a second time?"
The chief broke out in a laugh which sure looked like it hurt his belly. When he caught his breath and rubbed his eyes, he said, "No. Not one single time; more like a dozen times. More than once, Debbie, oh yeah, more than once. The point is, people who don't like Jimmy are mouthing off and down-timers are telling them to shut up. Then it turns into a brawl and the down-timers aren't interested in a social fight. People are getting hurt!"
"What do you expect me to do about it?" Joseph asked.
"When you sponsor the rematch, you need to do things a bit differently this time."
"I wasn't planning on sponsoring the rematch."
The chief stared through him again. Them he said, "You are now! And this time Jimmy Dick needs to lose, which he will if it is a fair and honest debate. It must appear to be absolutely fair and honest or we will never put this to rest."
Joseph looked perplexed. "What good would that do? You will still have strong opinions both ways when it's over."
"Look," the chief said, "the last debate was a farce. Yeah, you put on a good show and people got their money's worth. But the real problem was letting people try and buy the outcome. Plus some of your questions were just plain silly. Do it over, do it right, do it quick and do it fair."
"Chief," Debbie said, "you aren't the only one who has a problem. The duel put us in the black. I told my boss I'd get him a rematch and we'd do it all over again. This ruckus and rematch will keep us in the black to Christmas. The third debate will carry us to spring. Then, with any luck, enough people will be in the habit of buying a paper. If we can milk this for enough exposure, we will be able to survive. I need thirty days to run three weeks of questions and sell the ad space which goes along with it."
"There isn't going to be a third debate. We've got to get this settled and over with. We need a clean, fair debate so Jimmy can lose and put this to rest." Chief Richards thought for a moment. "Okay. Set a date a month out. The prospects of a rematch should settle things down enough to get by until then. But you need to run the new format right away so people know it will be fair this time. Just one thing, if it doesn't settle down, the date will have to be moved up. Now, here is how you are going to run the next one. Drop most or all of the theatrics. It won't be as good of a show, but this is no longer about a good show. It's about the peace of the community."
****
The day's headline read "Police say Rematch Will be Completely Fair and Unbiased."
The lead article read, "This morning Chief Richards told the Grantville Times and a representative of the Lion's Club, that he personally would see to it that the rematch would be completely fair. The two sides will chose a mutually-agreeable judge. The third party judge will chose a second judge, and the popular vote will carry the weight of a judge. Each ticket sold will be printed in five sections allowing each person attending to cast five votes over the course of the event."
The second paragraph told about ticket information with the date, the time, and the new location for the event. The high school gym should accommodate everyone wishing to attend.
****
Seeing the chief in Club 250, brought some stares and muttered comments. But there he sat at a table with Jimmy, Walt and Walt's son, Evan.
"Okay then," the chief said. "We've settled on a judge all three of us can agree will be fair-minded and even-handed. Now, if Pastor Green agrees then he will find a second judge, but you two won't have anything to do with that and most likely you won't even know who it is until the night of the debate.
"Again, I want to stress this time it is a debate and not a verbal duel. We really do have to get this settled.
"I've twisted the arm of the CoC to provide the volunteers so we won't have those shenanigans this time. So, let's talk about the questions."
Jimmy lifted a beer and Walt lifted a hand, "Chief, I thought the questions were going to be chosen out of the paper like last time?"
"In theory," the chief nodded, "yes. But I am going to vet them. For instance there will be no theological questions. As a devout Catholic, you can only answer with the official line of the church. Since Jimmy is a devout nothing, he can tear you up and there isn't any way you can come back because it's dogma."
At the words, "a devout nothing" Jimmy looked over his horizontal beer bottle with a glare.
The chief ignored it. "So theology is out because it isn't fair. Then there will be no cheap questions like why is Jimmy a jerk. It's not fair to Walt."
Jimmy snorted and beer flew.
"Not fair to Dad? How do you figure?" Evan asked.
"First, your father has to be polite and Dickhead here doesn't. Second, Jimmy is used to cheap shots and has a whole slew of cute comebacks, like the anonymous turkeys line, ready and waiting in the bank, which are sure to be a big hit with the crowd."
Evan started to object. "Hey, my dad has a-"
"Thirdly," the chief said, "because I just said so. If you've got a problem with it, shut up." The chief was being high-handed and he knew it. He normally wasn't. But this was going to look completely fair. The best way for it to look fair was for it to be fair. And it would be, even if he had to be high-handed, hard-assed and arbitrary about it. It was going to be fair and Jimmy was going to lose. Jimmy couldn't possibly win a fair fight. It would be exactly fair and it would have the outcome the chief wanted.
****
The seats on the gym floor cost more than the bleachers did. But this did not mean the people with the chairs got any more votes, just a better view. The chief watched as the CoC ushers moved the down-timers mostly to stage right and up-timers mostly to stage left. This being by instruction to keep the pro and cons separated as much as possible. Things had quieted down when the rematch was announced, but tensions were running high in the gym. Benjamin took the microphone needed to be heard-it was a gym after all, not a hall built with acoustics in mind. He addressed the crowd in a normal voice.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."
In the absence of the ringside voice several cat calls rang out.