Our morning was low-key, since nothing was scheduled till after lunch, and there were no major dramas leading up to the ceremony, just tiny annoyances like Tick-tock kidnapping one of my earrings, and the flowers I was planning to carry as a simple bouquet having been ravaged overnight by one of the tree-critters, much to Rye’s chagrin when he went to pick them. He dashed off on a frantic hunt for the same kind of flower, until Kaoren went and fetched him, and they ended up bringing totally different flowers, but Kaoren had obviously been saying just the right thing to Rye, since he was looking a great deal happier than he had all morning. That was just when we were about to split up to start getting dressed, and I gave both of them a big hug, and then took the girls off to the lighthouse, which is where we were due to meet Chiane to get dressed.
We’d partially furnished the lighthouse and so, while it still needed things like plates and cooking utensils, it worked well for getting ready. Zee brought Chiane and the small collection of attendants and hairdressers and of course the clothes, and I set them to working on the girls first, since I knew that Sen and Lira’s hair would take a lot longer than mine. Then I went up to the bedroom on the top floor, sat on the bed, and started crying.
I hadn’t meant to. I hadn’t realised how upset I was, but then I found I was sitting there with tears running down my face, and it was a good thing that it was Zee who came up to chat to me because I think that would have confused the girls endlessly. Zee wasn’t fussed, just sat down and put an arm around my shoulder and said: "Well, it can’t be second thoughts, or your Kaoren would not be looking half so pleased with himself."
"My Mum won’t be here when my baby is born." I started to cry all over Zee, then realised she’d changed into a very gorgeous dress which wouldn’t be improved by snot, and managed to snivel into my shirt sleeve instead. "Sorry, should be happy, but I just – just–"
"Want your family on your wedding day. And your mother to talk about babies. Of course." She squeezed me lightly, adding: "Congratulations. I know this is something you’ve been looking forward to. Or at least Sen has on your behalf."
"I’m really very happy," I said, sounding miserable. "Everyone is so good to me, and I couldn’t stand losing the people I have here."
"But you are still a girl very far from her home. Though your family here is getting very large. And colourful."
The wry note in her voice made me feel suddenly more settled, and a little giggle bubbled up. "I’d hate to imagine what Arden would do to a squad, if he had stayed with KOTIS. Did you see his face while The Llama was trying to climb into Nils' lap?"
"Considering the potential of the scene. He makes no attempt to hide her purpose. A strange variation of a Sight talent – just as uncomfortably able to see to the heart of matters, but also…meddlesome."
"He likes to stir things up and then see what happens," I said. "He always watches Kaoren when talking to me. And I think he was hoping you’d go snap The Llama like a twig for touching Nils. I sort of like him, but only despite the things he does. And I’m so glad to know you, Zee."
She ruffled my hair, and told me to go wash my face, and ran interference so I could get down to the bathroom without anyone noticing that I’d been crying. Then I was taken over by Chiane’s minions and primped and clipped and dressed and arranged and when only the veil was left I went and joined the girls.
I have beautiful daughters. I was half-expecting Ys to be lost in a scowl, since her tolerance for primping is pretty low, but she was watching Sen and looking very relaxed and thoughtful and reminded me so much of Isten Notra. One day I think she will inspire the same sense of awe, will be someone who the world thinks it a privilege to spend an afternoon with. Plus she looked great in her dress, with her hair styled in a way which really suits her, and just a touch of lip gloss. Unexpectedly adult. She’s so tall for her age.
Sen and Lira were really thoroughly enjoying their fairy-princess hairstyles, and their fancy dresses and their flowery hairclips and unashamedly preening in front of the mirror. Sen was spinning in a circle and watching her skirt flare out, but then made one of her delighted noises and ran and hugged my legs.
I’d ordered a special present for them, gossamer-fine chains with tiny white flower pendants, and really enjoyed putting each one round their necks in turn and seeing that they all really liked it. Then we paused to have a glass of water and a quick visit to the bathroom and by then it was nearly time to go down, so we carefully attached the veil to my flower circlet. I’d really appreciated Chiane’s attitude, and the straightforward way she’d told Ys her best colours and ideal styles and makeup, and so asked if she wanted to take some scans for her records (which, I’d worked out, is tantamount to doing some publicity shots for her) and obligingly let her pose me and the girls and tweak the dress to be just so. I took scans for myself, since I wasn’t really planning on posed pictures otherwise – just had a scanner set up down in the Wedding Garden to catch the ceremony and party.
We went as a group down the stairs (it would have been pretty pathetic if I’d tripped on my dress while half-blinded by the veil after all), and Zee went ahead and we waited for the music to signal it was starting (not an Earth bridal march, but the Taren the parties approach music) and then Sen started out, followed by Ys and Lira and then me. Sen – who had been aching to show Rye her dress and new necklace – skipped out enthusiastically, forgot what we’d covered in rehearsal, and whizzed across to meet Kaoren and Rye and pirouette in front of them (much laughter from everyone watching). Both groups of us (boys and girls) were supposed to walk out at the same time, but I guess this evened up the numbers and Kaoren rested one hand on Sen’s head and the other on Rye’s shoulder and walked on. I handed my bouquet to Lira and took her free hand and Ys' hand, and so it ended up looking like our children were leading us to the wedding.
Kaoren was impossibly gorgeous. I hadn’t seen his outfit, but it had been described to me, and I’d teased him about it sounding like the Setari uniform with something over the top. He’d said it was a lot more effort to put on than the Setari uniform. Still, it was definitely the same high-throated, close-fitting black, and over it a dark moss robe/coat which hung to his knees (and obligingly had gaps at the front and side so you could admire his totally hot body). As per Taren tradition, the pattern of his and Rye’s clothing was more geometrical, though still based around leaves and occasional blossoms. I don’t remember much of the walking out onto the little island, or anything of people’s reactions, and it was probably just as well the girls ended up leading me, because I didn’t take my eyes off Kaoren the entire way.
The ceremony was a mix of Taren and what you’d get for a Sydney wedding. Kaoren’s Sights made him really want to see my face throughout, so the first thing he did was lift my veil. I’ve watched the scan of the ceremony now, of course, and fortunately I don’t look like a complete idiot, just overwhelmed and very happy and barely managing to respond at the right moments because I was too busy gazing at Kaoren. He was definitely looking very pleased (extra-possessive), and kissed me very thoroughly, audience or not, when I was officially Certain.
Fortunately he was the one supposed to do most of the talking for the adoption part. We’d spent ages trying to figure out a ceremony which would be heartfelt without mortifying the kids too much, and eventually decided to have Tsur Selkie start out by announcing the adoption, and then Kaoren and I had the kids stand between us, and Kaoren made this really great speech about how family was a charged term to the Setari, that the word had come to cover dorm-mates, squad members, more than just the blood relatives they only saw once a year. That he had always been reluctant to add to the people who he felt that way about, and had only just accepted that I had become everything to him when three new lives had walked into his. How his first instinct had been to separate them from me before I got too attached, but then he’d wanted to know more of them himself. How helpless he’d felt to do anything for Lira but not lie to her. The straightforward enjoyment he’d found in giving them a place to feel safe and welcome and how he’d found that the word family now, for him, meant them.