She thought for a while. ‘Paul McCartney, yes, McCartney.’
‘Thought so.’
Evelyn gave me a quizzical look, saw I didn’t want to engage in any more conversation and left the room. As the door clicked I saw something from the corner of my eye and turned back as quickly as possible to look at Jo. I was sure I’d seen the bedcover twitch. ‘Jo,’ I said, leaning over the bed to look at her face for added signs of life. Nothing. I willed some movement, a sign that there was some chance for Jo, some hope for her parents. Even though I didn’t know them, the thought of their sadness overwhelmed me. I wanted them saved from this terrible day. They’d coped with enough. They should be spared the awful finality of the thrown switch and inevitable flat line. It would only take a couple of words, just a whisper that I’d seen her move and it was done. It was that simple to raise their hopes and gain Jo a stay of execution, more time for a miracle to happen. For a few more days the curse of death would be lifted. It might seem false hope, but I could do with some false hope at the moment. I might have given her the shit that tipped her over the edge. Of course I wanted her to move a fucking leg. If her parents flicked that switch and turned out Jo’s lights, where did that leave me? With a fucking death on my hands, that’s where. Please dear God, please make her move her leg.
There was nothing more, if there had ever been anything in the first place. I sat back in the chair, realising how hot I was and how uncomfortable the seat had become. The door behind opened again.
‘Hello, Jack.’
‘Mary?’
‘How is she?’
The shock of seeing Mary sent me rocking out of the chair and I gulped for a breath of air to clear my head. ‘She’s as good as dead.’
‘Nice turn of phrase.’
‘Sorry.’
‘You don’t have to be sorry to me, Jack.’
‘There doesn’t seem much hope for her…I thought I saw her leg move before, but there’s been nothing since. Perhaps I just imagined it, just hoped to see it move.’
Mary walked into my silence and sat on the seat I’d recently vacated. She had her back to me and I could see the twirl of her crown. Her hair was thick and sleek, a much deeper colour than when we were together. I stood awkwardly, unsure if she expected me to leave or stay.
‘I hear the show went well.’
‘It was good.’ At last I felt confident enough to step into her view and went to the second chair.
‘Sorry I didn’t catch it, but then I doubt if I’d have understood it if I had gone.’
‘Please, Mary, there’s no need for that, not here, not at a time like this.’
‘You’re right.’
‘It’s a shame we didn’t get the chance to talk the other night. How are things for you?’
‘Fine.’
‘Still teaching?’
She nodded.
‘Boyfriend or partner?’
‘It’s funny, you know, I never really liked Jo. I mean I had no time for her at school and when she was after you back in the old days I resented her. Since then we’ve met at the occasional thing and we’ve talked and kept our silence about the past, but now I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt.’ For the first time she looked at me. ‘Not that I have anything to feel guilty about, not like some, but I find I have to be here. Perhaps it’s more for me than her, a guilt that I never made the effort with her and if she dies that chance will be lost for ever.’
‘What do you mean, not like some?’
‘Last time I saw Jo she was staggering off into the sunset, or should I say moonset…with you. Two days later she’s found in the Hilton in a coma.’ She turned back to Jo and straightened the sheet that had attracted so much attention over the past few minutes. ‘Aren’t you staying at the Hilton?’
‘Are you trying to say something?’
‘The facts speak for themselves. Have the police talked to you yet?’
There are times in life when words truly lose their meaning. You fail to hear them individually, but their total effect is so overwhelming that the body jolts in physical reaction. ‘What?’
‘The police, they’re investigating what happened. Jo’s in a coma from a drugs overdose and they’re ruling out any form of suicide attempt. They think someone gave her the drugs.’
‘I’m not sure I understand exactly what it is you’re trying to say. Are you accusing me of something? Is that why you’re here, to watch my downfall—all those years of waiting and now you have your chance? Are you trying to frighten me, Mary?’ I stood and paced the room, my shoes making a solid sound on the lino floor. At the end of the bed I crossed to Mary’s side; this was the closest I’d been to her since Caroline’s funeral. The lines around her eyes and from her nose to the corners of her mouth were deeper than I remembered but despite the years she still looked beautiful. In another time and place the moment would have taken my breath away.
‘Why should you be frightened of what I’m saying?’
‘It sounded more like a threat than the sharing of a casual conversation.’
‘There was no threat, Jack. I was stating the truth.’
‘I suppose you’ve already spoken to the police. I bet you enjoyed that opportunity to articulate all your juicy speculation.’ These words were mere bravado. Inside I felt the largest possible sense of fear. I might already be a hunted man. Inspector Plod might be sitting with Bebe in a long silence waiting for me to return. How good was Bebe’s cover-up? And Claudia, was she gone or was she primed for a flawless entry at the end of the scene? Newspaper headlines scurried through my thoughts as did the company meetings and memos in which everyone severed their connections. No one would want to be tainted with my name. ‘Jack Mitchell? No, never had anything to do with bringing him on board. In fact I told my manager I thought it was a bad idea…’ Oh yes, the rats would be running. Goodbye, planet fame, it’s been nice knowing you.
‘Did you see that?’ Mary was on her feet now, gazing first at the bed, then at me, all her hostility melted away. ‘I think you might have been right, I’m sure I saw something move.’
‘Good, good. That is good, isn’t it?’
‘I guess so, yes.’
We both waited a while, but nothing more happened. The room started to darken as the afternoon faded. I was due to leave Auckland later in the evening, but how could I just walk out? Any move and Mary might draw a conclusion I didn’t want her to draw. Fortunately my dilemma was solved by the appearance of Jo’s hapless parents. Mary introduced me, her voice the softest it had been all afternoon. They were impressed that I’d taken the time to visit their daughter. I felt a fraud, but I don’t think they noticed. They expressed their gratitude again and again. Their admiration left me in no doubt that they hoped I might lay hands on their daughter and make her well. They didn’t know I’d already laid hands on their daughter and made her sick.
After what felt an appropriate time I left. Mary followed.
‘By the way, I’ve spoken to the police, but I haven’t told them anything. They do know, though, that you left with Jo. When they asked if I saw you leave, I said I must have been in the loo. I don’t know who told them, but there were plenty of people who would have seen you leave together.’
‘I haven’t done anything wrong, Mary.’ I crossed my fingers.
‘I hope not.’
‘She’ll pull through.’
Mary leant against the corridor wall. ‘I know you want her to live, because I don’t think you want the death of two women on your conscience.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘First Caroline, now Jo—two deaths, Jack.’
‘I didn’t kill Caroline, you know that, Mary.’
‘I didn’t say you did. I just said you wouldn’t want a second death on your hands. Causing one is careless—two is irresponsible.’