Some higher 'ethics' of the majority of human philosophies seek 'beauty.' What is beauty? The sense of another chuckle followed.
I didn't know where Engee's inquiries led. Or I was too bemused to follow the logic and dared not remove my attentions from the overspace and the Web around the ship? Not now.
What do beauty and truth share?
I wasn't sure they shared anything except that some humans pursued them and others rejected them.
Come now, former Dzin master. You cannot have failed to notice that both are subjective. Both in the extreme are unattainable ideals. Both move people, not always in the most socially desirable paths.
I was having trouble with the dialogue, if that were what it happened to be. 'Unattainable ideals will oppose formless entropy,' I finally suggested.
Unattainable ideals propelled by the one factor I lack.
Emotion?
Passion is a more accurate term. I wish to survive. I can act upon what is known, but passion acts in search of what cannot be attained.
That was nonsense. Men sought women; women sought men. Men and women sought greatness, empires, art - all things attainable.
No. They attain things which substitute for the vision of the unattainable. That is why the truly great are so often miserable, because they realize at last that their best achievements will always fall below their visions. Yet without those visions ... After the briefest of pauses, the monologue continued. You as a human can pursue good, or perfection, but you cannot expect others to follow you. They will encourage you and offer meaningless expressions of praise, but few will emulate your example. To pursue excellence is an admission that one is not perfect and that perfection needs far greater effort. Most self-aware entities wish praise for their present state of being or achievement, not the acknowledgment that they will always fall short of excellence or perfection. Therefore, the pursuit of excellence is always lonely. Those who achieve some small measure of perfection are ignored, or praised and quickly forgotten, or deified so that other entities can rationalize their lack of perfection by their lack of deity.
I was abruptly chilled and tired. All true - or accurate -but why did Engee even care?
If you evolve, so must I.
With that, the link... connection... whatever... snapped.
As much threat as promise, as much danger as hope ... and that was life.
I eased the Mambrino out of overspace and down toward the lunar beacon, toward earth ... passion ... and Cerrelle.
83
Form is emptiness; leave that emptiness without falling into it.
'Orbit Two, this is Mambrino, inbound from Epsilon Cygni via Alpha Felini. Captain Tyndel, second Berya, third Alek, with six passengers.' As we accelerated upward and toward the lunar beacon, I intensified my scanning, attempting to pick out Orbit Two optically - to find that cylinder of composite that had so come to remind me of gray and ancient caserns.
'Are you going to tell us what happened?' asked Berya into the quiet.
'I was persuaded into doing a task for Engee. I did it. He's promised he won't interfere with any more needles.' And you hope he keeps that promise ... at least for a few centuries.
'Can you trust it?'
'It was worth the risk. It cost us probably six months lost dilation time, and there doesn't seem to be any damage to the Mambrino!
'Do you know how they got gravity on that station?' asked Alek. 'There wasn't any spin.'
'No. No one told me.' You didn't ask, either. 'I was rather occupied.'
'Real gravity ... in the middle of the Anomaly ... that's frightening,' said Berya quietly.
I could understand that... but I trusted my senses enough to know that it had been real, and what was ... was. And that meant only that Engee had mastered a technology we hadn't.
'What was this task?' Alek injected.
'Observing another universe.'
Berya laughed. 'You had to ask, Alek.'
I was saved by the incoming transmission.
'Mambrino, say again intermediate station.'
'Intermediate station was Alpha Felini, also known as New City. You may confirm that with senior captain Erelya and commander Krigisa.' I grinped as I replied, knowing that the confirmation would certainly get her attention, and I wanted her to get the word before any of the passengers talked. I also wanted the word out beyond the commander, distrustful demon that I was.
'Mambrino, we copy Alpha Felini, or New City.'
'Stet.'
The reference to New City definitely got the commander's attention. Krigisa and two figures in black were waiting at the lock.
Your officers will go with controllers Bilek and Nyra, captain, and I would appreciate it if you would accompany me.' The commander's voice was polite but not terribly warm. 'The passengers will be accommodated in another fashion.'
'Of course, commander.' I doubted that either controller could have restrained me physically, but where would I have gone? And why?
Neither Berya nor Alek looked particularly cheerful, but they didn't have half the problems I would.
'Medical first,' insisted Krigisa as we turned toward the shafts.
A black-haired and petite woman in red waited inside the lowspin gravity of the second deck space.
'Doctor Josara, this is captain Tyndel. As I requested ...' Krigisa nodded toward the doctor.
'You want an immediate and complete diagnostic panel.' The doctor turned to me. 'If you would step this way?'
I stepped to the square mat by the blank screen and waited as Josara released the spray of diagnostic nanites, and as they returned to the shimmering screen.
'Well?'
'He scans normally,' Josara announced. 'He's tense, but...' Who wouldn't be?
'Is there anything there that shouldn't be?'
'The scans don't show anything. His cellular balance is better than normal after a triple insertion trip.' Josara smiled, a polite smile, but one that seemed pleased to report my good health. 'Everything is off the top.'
Krigisa nodded. 'Let us go.'
'Operations?' I asked.
That got another nod.
After we went through another transition lock and along a back corridor I'd not known about, she ushered me into what had to be her private space, barely larger than an oversized closet, with a full wall screen view showing Luna's disc not quite touching the blue and white of a full sunlit earth.
'Why did you broadcast Alpha Felini?' Krigisa's dark face was shiny, her eyes hard. 'And then emphasize New City?'
'I couldn't see any way to keep it quiet.' And didn't want to.
'You could have requested restraints for the passengers.'
'I don't operate that way, and, frankly, I didn't think about it.' And if you had, it wouldn't have changed anything.
'Do you think it's good that people know about Engee -everyone?'
'People already know.' I missed Astlyn and his quieter approach. 'They won't know any more or any less from this.'
The commander eased into the chair, barely held there by the low gravity on the upper station level. 'Why don't you start at the beginning.'
'There was no sign of Engee on the outward insertion to Epsilon Cygni.. .'I went on to explain everything... including the way Engee lifted the Mambrino out of overspace and the apparent task Engee had set me. All I left out were the aspects of changes to me personally.