“It is,” Skags said. “And I’m not going to share any more information with you.” I could tell she really was a little hurt, but I knew she’d forgive me.
“That’s fine,” I said. “Feel free to continue not sharing the fact that you’ve turned Jenny Carpenter into a total lesbian.”
“Jenny Carpenter was already a total lesbian,” Skags said fondly. “I just helped her to see it.”
We got off the phone, and I marveled at my friend’s powers of persuasion. I didn’t see Skags as sexy at all—she was a girl who looked and dressed like a boy, and besides, she was my funny best friend. But apparently, she held some kind of fascination for a certain kind of young lady. And now I knew Jenny Carpenter, of all people, was that kind of young lady.
The next day was a real scorcher. You know those hot summer afternoons when you look into the distance and it’s all hazy and wavy because of the heat rising from the pavement? Or those days when you can sense the heat inside somehow, even with all the air-conditioning? It was that kind of day. My mother popped in, presumably to check that her daughter was still alive, and grabbed a few things before zooming back to the city.
“Nice to see you, stranger,” I said before she left.
“Why, Naomi,” she said, half turning toward me. “You’d almost think you missed me.”
I didn’t say anything, which pleased her. I didn’t miss her, not exactly, but it might’ve been nice to have another time like the one we had at the nail salon. Not that I’d want to plan it out or anything, but if we happened to run into each other for more than five minutes, it might be okay to hang out a little. Maybe.
Then again, I reflected, she’d probably end up saying something to piss me off. So maybe it was better that we weren’t up each other’s butts that summer.
Jeff came over to pick me up for dinner, and I was already nervous for what was about to transpire. When we got into his car to go over to Delilah’s house, we looked at each other.
“This is gonna be so weird,” I said.
He grinned. “I know. I kind of can’t wait.” He rubbed his palms together, and I laughed a little, uncomfortably. Was it too late to fake a stomachache and curl up with my book for the night?
When we got to Delilah’s house, a butler let us in with apologies. “I’m afraid the air-conditioning is broken,” he said, wiping his brow. “We’ve got fans going everywhere, but it’s not the most comfortable situation. Senator and Mrs. Fairweather, thankfully, are at the townhouse in the city, but the rest of us have got to suffer out here.” He sighed and shook his head, then led us to the enormous living room, where Jacinta and Delilah were perched on either end of the couch, wearing nearly identical white cotton sundresses. Of course, Jacinta accessorized hers with a funky white headband covered in big red felt flowers, but other than that, their outfits were almost exactly the same. They had each kicked their shoes off, and when we walked in, they were holding hands along the back of the couch.
“Heeeeeey, you two,” Delilah said when we entered the room. She was higher than I’d ever seen her before. I wouldn’t say she was stoned out of her mind, but her eyes were red and she had that goofy marijuana-induced smile on her face. Smoking weed doesn’t make people nasty or violent the way alcohol can, but it certainly lowers their IQ temporarily.
Teddy walked in then, and Delilah dropped Jacinta’s hand.
“Hello, TV staaaar,” Delilah said, her voice thick with sarcasm. “How are things?”
Teddy peered at her, then rolled his eyes.
“Well, at least one of us is having fun,” he said. Jacinta studied her hands.
Teddy’s cell buzzed. He checked the incoming number.
“I need to take this,” he said abruptly, and walked outside.
We watched him through the living room windows. He stalked up and down the front lawn in the blistering heat, gesticulating wildly, first barking angrily into the phone and then appearing to become conciliatory, even friendly.
“Could he please make it more obvious?” Delilah said loudly. “He doesn’t need to actually talk to her right in front of my face. In front of my guests.”
She looked at Jacinta, who nodded her agreement. Delilah’s expression softened, and she leaned over and planted a big kiss on Jacinta’s mouth. Jeff looked at me in surprise. I think the reality of seeing these two girls kiss was less sexy than he’d imagined.
“I just love you,” Delilah said to Jacinta.
Jacinta blushed. Delilah looked at us expectantly for our reaction, but we gave none. Maybe it was too hot for us to summon any response. Or maybe we were just shocked they were being out in the open like this.
His phone call over, Teddy walked back into the house.
“Shit,” he said when he entered the living room. “It’s almost as hot in here as it is outside. This reminds me of being under the studio lights when I was on—”
“Teddy, my sweetest and most precious darling,” Delilah said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “It’s so powerfully hot. I don’t want to make the cook turn the oven on. He’ll sweat to death.”
“That’s his job,” Teddy said. “He’s the cook. Kitchens get hot. If you can’t take the heat, get your ass out of the kitchen!” He chortled, deeply amused at himself.
“I think we ought to go out to eat,” Delilah insisted.
“I thought we were going to have a nice night in,” Teddy said. “With old friends and—her.” He cast Jacinta a withering glance. She seemed to withdraw into herself like a flower closing its petals at nightfall.
“Don’t talk to her that way,” Delilah said.
“What way?” Teddy asked. “I was just pointing out that you and I and Jeff and Naomi have known each other for a while, while Jacinta is—new.” He said new as if he meant to say another, meaner word.
“Let’s go to Baxley’s,” Delilah suggested with a bright, false smile. “There’s so much good food, and I know you love the service you get there, Teddy.” She glared at him, daring him to reply.
“I do,” Teddy said. He smiled smugly. “And it’s a lot friendlier than what I’m used to getting around here.” Delilah narrowed her pretty blue eyes.
I cast a sidelong look at Jeff, who appeared to not be enjoying himself as much as he’d predicted when we were in the car. At any rate, his friend Teddy had won that round by basically openly and shamelessly acknowledging what Delilah was implying.
“You fu—” Delilah began, and then Jacinta put her hand on her arm gently. The touch seemed to soothe Delilah, who immediately stopped speaking and looked at Jacinta gratefully. Jacinta’s smile seemed to warm her and relax her. She smiled back appreciatively.
At this, Teddy’s expression darkened considerably. Whatever ground he’d gained was lost the moment Jacinta’s hand touched his girlfriend’s forearm. His hulking body tensed. I don’t think it was the touch that angered him, per se—it was the clear evidence that theirs was a world from which he was barred entry. It was fine if other people couldn’t get between his girlfriend and this superfan blogger, but he should always be assured his place. I imagined he thought that if he couldn’t even get a threesome out of it, clearly their relationship had no purpose other than to irritate him.
“Let’s go to Baxley’s,” he said, turning his back to them. “Right now. I’m hungry.”
Thankfully, we were saved the heinous awkwardness of traveling as a group. As we tried not to melt in the heat, Teddy directed the group.
“Jacinta and Delilah, you go in Jacinta’s car,” he ordered. “Jeff, Naomi, and I will take mine.”
“Sounds perfect to me,” Delilah said coolly.