“ Yes, you can. You have nothing to fear from me…Let your…mind…go…blank…”
Jelena felt herself begin to drift. Her eyelids grew heavy.
Look at me child.
Jelena’s eyes widened in astonishment.
Yes, you are hearing me in your mind. This is what we call mindspeech. Every elf is capable of it, but the ability to send and receive mindspeech with any power and clarity is directly proportional to the level of Talent of the individual. The strength of the bond between two people also facilitates its use. I can see by the look on your face that you know about mindspeech already.
“ Yes, my lady, I do,” Jelena replied aloud. “But I did not think I would be able to hear it…I mean, I know so little about Talent in myself.”
There is much about you that awaits discovery, child. I will help you, but you must trust me completely. There is no room for doubt.
“ I…I do trust you, my lady,” Jelena stammered, unsure of whether she should be excited or afraid.
Try not to use your voice, Jelena. Mindspeech is like thought. Just form the words in your mind and imagine them flowing from your consciousness into mine.
I’ll try, my lady…Oh!
Very good! You’re learning quickly. Now, continue to do exactly what you just did.
I…I can…feel what you mean now…but my head is beginning to ache!
Jelena rubbed her temples in an attempt to massage away the pain she could feel building behind her eyes.
Unfortunately, some people do experience pain when they mindspeak, sometimes so much that they are totally unable to communicate mind to mind. My dear husband is such a person. However, I believe that with practice, you will be able to mindspeak with ease.
Tell me about the blue fire, my lady.
Patience, my girl! There are many lessons you must learn first. Now…Your trust will be tested by this first one. I am going to perform a scan of your most recent memories. I must do so in order to show you what a scan feels like so that you can learn to recognize, and most importantly, guard against an unwanted one.
You have nothing to fear, Jelena. I know all about what happened between you and my eldest son.
My lady, I…I am sorry. Ashi and I agreed not to say anything. He…he did not wish to upset you and Lord Sen.
You have nothing to be sorry about, Jelena. I hold Sadaiyo to blame. None of my children can lie to me, and when he told that tale about stabbing himself, I knew immediately that he was withholding the truth. I am truly sorry for what you suffered at my son’s hands, child. Sadaiyo has a cruel nature that I have been unable to change, despite all of my best efforts; still, he is my son, and I always try to coax as much good from him as I can. Rest assured that he will make restitution to you in some form.
Thank you, my lady.
Now, relax, just like you did before we began the mindspeech.
Jelena let her mind drift.
The scan, when it first took hold, felt like an itch she couldn’t scratch- uncomfortable, but bearable. Gradually, however, the itch grew and changed until, to Jelena’s dismay, it morphed into a throbbing pain.
My lady, it hurts! she cried in her mind.
Relax, child. Do not fight me. If you resist, the pain will grow worse.
It feels like the skin is ripping off the top of my head!
Jelena could feel a moan vibrating in her throat, but her ears captured none of the sound.
Just as she thought she could no longer endure the pain, Amara withdrew, ending the scan, and Jelena collapsed. The bitter taste of bile burned her mouth as her stomach churned and her vision swam alarmingly. She felt something cool and hard force itself between her lips-the rim of a goblet, filled with watered wine. She swallowed twice, then pushed the cup away and sagged backward onto the couch, breathing in great gulps.
Somewhere out on the frontier of Jelena’s distressed awareness, she felt Amara waiting, strong as a rock, lending her support. Gradually, the nausea subsided, the dizziness abated, and Jelena dared to open her watering eyes.
“ Gods,” she muttered weakly, in Soldaran.
Amara gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Believe it or not, Jelena, you did well. A scan is not an easy thing to endure, even a surface one, especially if it’s the first one experienced. Your mind is naturally strong, and you have much more Talent than even I’d guessed. You were actually throwing up a rudimentary shield against me, without knowing what it was you were doing, which is why it hurt so much. I’m quite impressed. As you gain experience, you’ll be able to tolerate even a deep scan without too much discomfort. ”
“ I hope so,” Jelena replied. She pressed shaking hands to her head, which felt like an anvil on the business end of a hammer.
“ Here, let me ease your head,” Amara offered.
“ Thank you, my lady.” Jelena dropped her hands and let Amara rest her palms on either side of her face. Remarkably, the throbbing in her skull began to subside. By the time Amara released her grip, Jelena’s headache was gone.
“ A simple pain banishment,” Amara explained in response to the questioning look in Jelena’s eyes. “One of the easiest spells to learn. Now, I think you’ve had quite enough for today. Tomorrow, we’ll begin in earnest.”
Jelena tried to stifle a shiver of apprehension, but couldn’t. It seemed that getting to the truth of the blue fire might prove as difficult in its own way as getting to Alasiri had been.
“ When shall I return?” Jelena asked.
“ Come with my son to breakfast tomorrow. We’ll start immediately afterward.”
Jelena stood up, a little unsteadily, and turned toward the door.
“ And, one more thing.” Jelena halted and looked back at Lady Amara. “From now on, you are considered a member of my family, but until you and my son are officially married, you can’t share his bed.” Jelena blushed furiously and found an especially interesting spot on the floor to study. Amara laughed, but Jelena heard no mockery in it. “Come now, I know it’ll be hard, but it’s tradition, and there’s nothing that says you and Ashinji can’t do other things.”
“ Yes, my lady,” Jelena murmured.
Cheeks still aflame, Jelena beat a hasty retreat, but despite her embarrassment, her heart began singing. She hurried downstairs and out of the castle into the full heat of the summer day. The upper yard lay empty, and the whitewashed walls of the castle shimmered in the glare of a sun that rode high and bright in a cloudless sky.
Ashi and I will be married soon, she thought, and the intensity of her joy swelled so overwhelmingly that she threw her arms out and spun like a top, stopping only when her legs threatened to buckle beneath her.
Abruptly remembering that she stood out in the open, Jelena glanced surreptitiously around her, checking to see if anyone had observed her burst of exuberance. The yard was still deserted, and no curious eyes stared at her from any of the castle windows, at least none that she could see. She headed off in the direction of the barracks.
Back in the room she shared with Aneko and Kami, Jelena sat on her bed, staring at the ring bequeathed to her by her mother. She held the heavy signet on her palm, trying to imagine the man whose finger it had encircled.