Jelena twisted in Mai’s arms to look at her uncle, who stood close to his wife, speaking to her in a voice too low to overhear.
It’s as if no one else exists in the world besides themselves, and nothing else matters except what they need to say to each other at this moment…I had that kind of love, once.
Jelena’s brief surge of envy dissolved into guilt and she drew in a sharp breath.
“What is it, love?” Mai asked. Jelena shook her head, then reached up to clasp Mai’s chin in her hand, drawing his face to hers. She kissed him hard, savoring his unique taste and smell. She wanted to implant his essence deep within her memory, so she would not forget him if the unthinkable happened.
When at last their lips parted, Mai whispered, “I love you, Jelena.” He kissed Hatora’s forehead and added, “Both of you.”
“I know,” she replied. “Come home to us.”
Jelena watched as Mai collected his horse from a waiting groom and swung aboard the silver gelding with easy grace. It took every bit of strength she had not to fall apart, for was it not on these very steps that she had stood and watched Ashinji ride away, never to return?
“You’re thinking of him, aren’t you?”
Jelena turned to find Sonoe standing at her elbow. “Sonoe, is something wrong, has my father…”
“Keizo sleeps. There’s been no change. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you, pet.” Jelena breathed a sigh of relief, then refocused her attention on Mai as he prepared to ride out.
Sonoe reached out and squeezed Jelena’s shoulder. “You needn’t feel guilty for thinking of Ashinji, especially now.”
“But I do, Sonoe. My thoughts should be only for Mai. He’s the living man, the one I’ve pledged to marry!” Jelena’s voice broke in a sob. “I couldn’t even tell him I loved him, not even now, when he’s riding to war and I might never see him again.” She held up her bare wrist. “I finally took my wedding bracelet off last night, and it felt like I’d betrayed Ashi. Mai loves me so much, and I know it would have meant the world to him to hear me say those words, but I just couldn’t, Sonoe. I couldn’t.” Jelena wept openly now and the baby began to wail in response.
“Hush, sweetheart, shhhh ,” Sonoe murmured, slipping her arms around Jelena. “Mai knows how you feel, and he accepts it. Don’t torture yourself over this. Everything will be as it should, I promise.” Something in the other woman’s tone made Jelena turn to scrutinize her friend. Sonoe’s face looked paler than usual and dark shadows smudged the skin beneath her jade-green eyes.
“You’re exhausted, Sonoe,” Jelena whispered, wiping her face on a corner of Hatora’s blanket, then sobbed, “Oh, Hattie baby…please don’t cry!” She rocked the squalling infant in an effort to soothe her.
“Here, let me take her,” Sonoe offered, holding out her arms. Jelena relinquished the baby to the red-haired mage, who gathered her close, then placed the tip of a forefinger to the infant’s wrinkled brow and spoke a single word. Almost at once, Hatora’s tiny face relaxed and her squalls subsided.
“You’re going to have to teach me that one,” Jelena said, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Of course, pet,” Sonoe replied, smiling.
Raidan and his entourage were at last ready to ride out. Taya stood at her husband’s left stirrup, holding his dragon-crested war helm in her hands. The Prince’s Guard, waiting at ease while Raidan and his staff made their preparations, now snapped to attention. As soon as Raidan gave the order, they would all leave the castle and ride through the city to join the main bulk of the army, which lay encamped outside the city gates under the command of Lord Sen.
Leaving the baby with Sonoe, Jelena hurried down the steps toward the prince. “Uncle!” she called out. Raidan paused with arms outstretched as Taya placed his helm in his hands. Jelena brushed his horse’s shoulder with her fingers and said, “Please tell my father-in-law my prayers are with him.”
Raidan nodded sharply. “I will,” he replied. “Remember all that I’ve said to you, Niece.”
Jelena backed away from the restless white stallion then ducked through the cluster of horses to where Mai waited. He had not donned his helmet yet; instead, he had hung it from the pommel of his saddle. He smiled as soon as he caught sight of her. Jelena reached up to lay a hand on his knee.
Before she could speak, Mai shook his head. “No, Jelena. You don’t need to say anything more. I know how you feel.” He covered her hand with his gloved fingers. “I’ll keep you and Hatora in my heart, I promise.”
“And I’ll keep you in mine, Mai. I promise,” Jelena whispered.
The prince gave the order to ride, and Jelena retreated to the castle steps as the entire mounted contingent wheeled about and took off at a trot toward the castle’s main gates. She moved to stand between Sonoe, still cradling Hatora in her arms, and Taya, who stood rigidly erect, hands clenched into fists at her side.
Can it be? My aunt is…yes, she’s afraid! Jelena glanced at Taya from the corner of her eye. Never had she felt any tenderness for her formidable aunt until now. It’s so easy to forget she’s a wife and mother as well as a powerful mage. She wants her loved ones to return home safe, just as I do.
Jelena raised her hand as if to touch her aunt’s arm. “Aunt, I know how…”
“Jelena, Sonoe,” Taya snapped, cutting her off. “Come with me. We have much to do.” The princess turned on her heel and marched off toward the yawning doors of the castle entrance, not bothering to look back.
Late that evening, Jelena kept watch at her father’s bedside, as she had done every night since he had fallen ill. After a quick meal, Sonoe had gone with Taya and Amara to work on the preparations for the Sundering. Only Society business could tear Sonoe away from the king’s side, but Jelena had noticed her friend seemed especially distracted of late.
Conflicted seems more accurate , she thought.
Keizo’s Companion kept her mind carefully shielded at all times but Jelena needed no special ability to recognize that Sonoe appeared locked in a fierce, inner struggle of some kind.
Jelena sensed it had something to do with Keizo, but mostly with her . She would catch Sonoe watching her, an expression of what seemed like regret on her face and yet, her friend exuded an aura of anticipation.
Maybe Sonoe feels conflicted over her role in the ritual of the Sundering. After all, she’s always believed that she, not Aunt Taya, should be head of the Kirian Society.
As Mistress of the Society, Taya would gain control of the Key once they separated it from Jelena and installed it in its new, inanimate vessel. Taya would have the final say over what the Society would ultimately do with the Key. Perhaps Sonoe worried her counsel would be belittled or ignored altogether by the princess.
Would Taya be so petty , Jelena wondered. Surely, she’d put aside any rivalries between her and Sonoe for the greater good! I must choose to believe my aunt will act wisely, for what else can I do? My life rests in her hands, in the hands of all the Kirians. They have promised to see me through the Sundering, and I trust in that promise.
Keizo stirred against his pillows and moaned softly. Jelena leaned forward to peer into his face, searching for any signs of consciousness, but saw none. With loving hands she stroked his hair, once as lustrous as newly minted silver, but dulled now with sickness. His body had wasted with shocking swiftness, leaving behind a shrunken remnant of a once strong and vital man.