“I know this guy, Meche,” I said. “He can play the slots for days.”
“Well, I still have to try,” she countered.
She went to Charlie, putting the bucket of change beside the one he already had. Charlie dug into the new bucket, feeding coins into the machine with one hand and pawing Meche with the other. I turned away.
After a few minutes it became very clear that Meche wasn’t going to get Charlie out of Hector’s casino any time soon. She pouted and pleaded and used just about every female tool of persuasion there is to get him away from the bandit, but none of it worked. Charlie wasn’t going to budge until he hit the jackpot, which seemed increasingly unlikely as time passed. So much for Charlie’s ‘infallible system’. In fact, no one around me seemed to be having any luck with the machines.
Except for one guy, that is. Whenever someone gave up on a bandit, he’d go up to it and clean it out. Consistently. And he was pretty remarkable for another reason: he rode a unicycle and wore a trench coat and big hat. The unicycle wasn’t all that strange. He might have lost his legs in some kind of accident, maybe even a run-in with a wild demon. But when he went up to a machine, he seemed to snuggle against it, then go rigid. And I could almost swear I could see something like an animal going into the slot the money came out of shortly before the machine paid off. But the light was very dim in the casino, just like it had been in mine. Easier to rip people off that way.
I got a quick glimpse of his face when he turned toward me briefly. Suddenly it started to become clear. I went over to the guy and quietly asked, “What’s going on under that raincoat?”
He didn’t flinch or jump. “I don’t know,” he said. “What’s going on under that pinstripe?”
“Didn’t Salvador chop you in half earlier this evening?”
The agent didn’t look at me. He just pretended to play the bandit with his one arm and said, “Yes, which has given me this glorious opportunity to continue to serve the cause by gathering funds for the LSA while stealing from our arch-enemy at the same time.”
I figured out what the ‘animal’ must be. He had to be wriggling out of his coat and up the slot to trip the coin box. “I guess you can blame me that when Salvador thinks fund-raising, he thinks casino,” I said. “Can you crack any machine?”
“None of these unholy temples is safe from the LSA,” he exclaimed softly.
“How about that one over there?” I indicated the one Charlie was feeding.
“The one with the sucker planted in front? Tell me when he gives up and I’ll make it cough cold change.”
“I can’t wait that long,” I said. “Are you willing to take instructions from me?”
“Depends.”
“If I can distract that guy, I want you to do your thing, but leave the change. My mission requires me to get him to the Hotel Romano, and he won’t leave unless he wins.”
“Can do,” the agent said.
“OK, give me a second.”
I tried to discreetly get Meche’s attention. It took a little while, but fortunately she spotted me waving before I had to resort to fake sneezes. When she finally was looking at me, I curled up one hand to mime Charlie’s bucket of coins and then set it on top of the slot machine nearest me. Then I shoved it off with my other hand. I pointed at the bucket and made a pushing motion, just to be sure she got the point. She nodded. When Charlie pulled the lever next and was focused on watching the dials spin around, Meche shoved the bucket off the machine.
Charlie jumped when the bucket crashed to the floor, and swore loudly when he saw his coins scattering everywhere. “I’m sorry,” I Meche said, sounding sincere. “I guess I got a little excited.”
Charlie grumbled something while he and Meche got down on their hands and knees to pick up his coins. The agent quietly rolled over and worked his magic. Charlie’s bandit started spilling coins as the agent quickly moved over to the nearest free machine.
Charlie looked up from the floor to see the coin slot overflowing. “I did it!” he crowed. “My system worked! I knew it! I told you!” He started stuffing his pockets.
“That’s great,” Meche said, sounding more relieved than glad. “Now let’s go so you can buy me a drink at the Romano.”
Charlie finished picking up his ‘winnings’ and took Meche’s arm. “Come, my lovely,” he said. “I have another infallible system I’d like to demonstrate.” He went grrr and they started walking toward the exit.
Smooth Hector
I followed Meche and Charlie from a discreet distance. Inside the Romano they went to the convention room where the toga party was being held. They got sheets from the organizers and went into separate restrooms to change. Meche was quick and came out first. From the Bride of Frankenstein way she had the sheet wrapped around her, I guessed she still had her clothes on underneath.
“Stick with Charlie for at least fifteen minutes,” I said to her, “then try to ditch him without his noticing. We don’t have a lot of time here, angel, because the longer we wait, the greater the chances that Hector might leave the casino, and then we’d have to start all over again. So if you don’t show up in half an hour, I’m going to assume that Charlie’s just too hard to shake, and that I should try to get to Hector on my own. So, if that’s how it all shakes out, I’ll meet you at the train station with the tickets as soon as I can.”
“Right,” she said. “Do you have any idea how long I should wait before assuming anything?”
I shook my head. “For all I know, there’s a whole waiting room full of suckers to see Hector. I’ll try to make it quick, but you’ll have to be patient and try not to worry if I don’t show up right away.”
“OK, Manny,” she said, “but when you do…?”
“Well, there won’t be any ticket for me, of course,” I answered, “so you’ll have to go back on your own.”
Meche nodded, a little sadly it seemed, but she said, “I’ll tell that Gatekeeper everything. He has to help us! But what will you do?”
I shrugged. “Stick around here, I guess. Give the LSA a hand. Even if I do take care of Hector, there’s still his gang to clean up.”
The men’s room door opened, and Meche and I quickly separated. She and Charlie went in to the party. I went into the men’s room, found Charlie’s suit, and fished out the slip of paper where he had written down the password.
I went back to Hector’s casino and made my way to the rear to find the express elevator. When I did, I stopped and muttered, “Oh, great.” The demon in charge of the elevator was Brennis, the tube switcher maintenance demon from my reaper days. It was getting to be like old home week. I hoped that maybe he wouldn’t recognize me when the time came. I returned to the casino proper, bought a bucket of quarters, and fed a bandit that gave me a good view of the entrance to the room. After half an hour spent cursing Chowchilla Charlie one quarter at a time, I then killed another five minutes doing the same thing. After that, another five.
Finally, giving up on Meche, I abandoned my remaining quarters and went back to the express elevator. I marched up to Brennis and said, “I have urgent business with Hector. I’ve just spoken to him on the phone, and he’s expecting me.”
“You know Hector LeMans, eh?” Brennis asked. Apparently he didn’t recognize me. Or he didn’t care. “Hokie-dokie! Then answer me this one simple question… who wrote Little Women?”
“Lonely little men,” I answered.
“Best two out of three?”
“Don’t mess with me. I know Hector LeMans.”