Satisfied, Brennis open the elevator door and let me in. I shook my head as I rode up. What smart guy thought up that password?
The elevator stopped in a very elegant lobby, which was completely ruined by the large HL monogram on the floor. I had half-expected to see Don Copal sitting behind a receptionist’s desk and taking Hector’s messages, but all I saw apart from the monogram on the marble floor was a huge pair of engraved bronze doors directly in front of me on the other side of the room. I walked over to rap on the doors with one hand while reaching into my coat with the other, getting ready to draw.
One door swung inward, revealing the obese obscenity that was Hector LeMans. He was cackling gleefully. “I knew you could change her m—” he began. “What!?” he exclaimed. “Who are you!?”
“I’m the grim—”
“Bah!!” he said and slammed the door in my face.
“Oh, I wouldn’t try talking to him right now,” a voice said from a corner of the lobby. I really, really should have checked for potential witnesses first. I turned to face the mousy couple I hadn’t noticed before now. “He’s mad at us because we won’t buy his tickets.”
The man looked familiar. I didn’t have to think very hard to peg him. “Celso Flores!?” I asked, amazed. The woman beside him must have been his wife. He had managed to catch up with her after all. “What are you doing in Hector LeMans’ waiting room?”
“Oh,” Celso said, “he sent us out here to make up our minds about his offer. Who are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I couldn’t believe he didn’t recognize me.
“I’m your travel agent,” I said.
“Oh, I have a travel agent already,” Celso said, “but he’s miles away mopping floors in an automat, so I suppose the position is open.”
“I work for Hector,” I said, switching tracks. “He sent me to answer your questions.”
“I’ll handle this, my sweet one,” Celso said when his wife opened her jaws to speak. “What can you tell me about these Double-N tickets? This price seems much more than ‘double’.”
I wanted to tell them to run away as fast as they could, but I doubted that would have done any good. I could sense that Celso wanted to be persuaded to buy the tickets, so I said, “The real question is, don’t you feel that you’re worth it?”
“I know we’re worth it,” Celso said, “but are the tickets worth it?”
That was a pretty good comeback, actually.
“What exactly are you saving your money for, anyway? A rainy day?” I asked. “’Cause let me tell you… you’re dead. Every day is rainy from now on.”
That usually worked with penny-pinchers who balked at getting the best package they qualified for. Not with Celso, though. “Yes,” he said, “but that’s no reason not to be careful with your money.”
“Then tell me,” I asked, “what are you doing here, anyway?” I didn’t give Celso a chance to answer. “It’s because you’ve heard that Hector LeMans can make your journey across the Land of the Dead a whole lot easier. Am I right? Now, I’ve been to the edge of the world and back, and I can tell you, my friend, there are plenty of things and creatures out there worth avoiding.”
“Actually,” Celso said, “I just got back from quite an adventure myself, so—”
“Well, I’m sure you’ve seen flying spiders and flaming beavers but, trust me, it gets worse.” I went on to describe some of the things I’d seen, focusing on the demons we encountered on the journey from Puerto Zapato, but built them up to epic proportions.
When I was done, Celso exclaimed, “I had no idea traveling the Land of the Dead was so fraught with peril!”
“Now, how much would you pay just to skip the whole thing?” I asked.
“Darling, come,” Celso said, taking his wife’s arm and guiding her toward Hector’s door. “Let us blow our nest egg together.”
Celso knocked and Hector opened the door a little more warily this time. “Mr. LeMans,” Celso said, “we’ve decided to take you up on your generous offer.”
“Excellent! Excellent!” Hector enthused, stepping back to give the Floreses space to enter his office. “The little lady changed your mind, eh?”
“No,” Celso said as Hector began to close the door behind them. “Actually, it was your agent over there.”
Hector looked over at me, confused, then back at Celso. “Well, of… of course,” he spluttered, but recovering quickly. “He’s one of my best! Well, let’s chat, shall we?”
The door closed.
“Still got it,” I said with a sigh. I felt bad, though, setting Celso and his wife up for a fall, but that was just added incentive for taking Hector down.
Before I could settle down to wait, the door opened again and Hector poked his head out. “I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what spell you’ve cast on the Flores couple,” he sounded like he might be angry, and I braced myself to start shooting right then, “but stick around. There’s something across town I’d like to show you.” He closed the door again.
Well, that was fine. If he was going to take me someplace private, everything should work out nicely.
A few minutes later both doors opened. Celso and his wife came out followed by a jolly Hector who was congratulating them on their ‘wise purchase’. He propelled them into the elevator without seeming to hurry them too much, then turned toward me.
“So,” he said, hands behind his back and rocking on his heels, sending a big ‘smile’ my way, “you’re the one who cracked the Flores couple, eh? Well done, my boy! Well done! I thought I wasn’t going to close that sale. Do you have any actual experience, or is it just a knack?”
“Wish you could have seen it,” I said. “It was old school all the way.”
“Ah, a practiced hand!” Hector exclaimed.
“Only about thirty years,” I said, rounding up. Hector looked even happier. “Plus management and experience in, uh, ‘promotion’.” I figured he’d been around the park often enough to to get the racketeering euphemism, and to draw the intended conclusions.
Hector had, and he did. He clacked his hands together happily, considerately showing me that he had been nicely hooked. “Excellent!”
“Why do you ask?” I asked, letting the line run out a little.
“I just happen to have a job open in my organization,” he answered. “Did I say ‘a job’?” Hector exclaimed theatrically. “Pish! What I’ve got is an opportunity! Give me an hour of your time, and you won’t regret it.”
“I’m sure I won’t,” I said, pulling the line taut.
Hector took me down to his limo and we went across town to the Bureau of Acquisitions building. Not exactly what I was expecting, but then I wasn’t sure just what to expect. Once we had arrived, I was surprised, and a little disturbed, when we got into the elevator and Hector punched the button for my old floor.
“We’ve had a lot of openings in this office in the last couple of years,” he was saying as he led me past what used to be Eva’s desk, “and frankly we’ve had trouble filling them. I could really use a closer like you on the team.” We came to my—and Apollo’s—old office, and Hector ushered me in. The scene was just too weird.
“This could be your office,” he said.
It didn’t look much different from the last time I saw it. Even the books Copal had given me were still there.
“I gotta admit,” I said, “you make a tempting offer, but let’s skip the sales pitch and get down to cases.”