The next day I didn’t get any unwanted visitors, but I did receive a letter in the mail explaining that my refusal to keep track of my dog had led to a deer being scared off her property. I, for one, couldn’t understand how this person could hate dogs so much while being seemingly desperate to make friends with the deer.
The note was handwritten but signed with only her address in lieu of a name. Even more off-putting was the fact that the envelope sported a stamp and postmark, meaning the bitter old woman had sent it through the post office rather than simply walking it over—or heaven forbid, trying to talk with us.
After that little surprise delivery, I drove straight to the pet store and invested in a hefty supply of pee pads. Paisley would just have to do her business inside until we managed to get that fence up. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best option we had available to us, all things considered.
[Êàðòèíêà: img_2]
Animal control came out for their third visit a couple days after I received the letter in the mail. This time they shared pictures of Octo-Cat helping himself to the bathroom on the neighbor’s porch.
When I confronted him about it, my cat grinned wide, obviously pleased with himself.“Someone had to give that woman her due. She peed you off, so I peed on her porch. Justice.”
Part of me was touched that the cat had decided to defend my honor, but a much larger part was upset he had created even more problems for us.
We sealed up the pet door then, because even with a fence, Octo-Cat could easily slip over or under to gain access next door. I’d already learned the hard way—and many times over at that—if I gave the tabby a direct order, he would go out of his way to do the opposite.
I prayed the fence contractors would be able to squeeze us in soon, but so far I was getting nowhere with any of the companies I’d contacted. They all claimed to have huge waiting lists now that the weather was warm. And somehow I doubted this was a job Nan and I could pull off on our own. Not with such a large property and not with such intensive labor required to get the job done right. Maybe Charles could find the timeto help once he finished his current case. Whatever the matter, I was quickly becoming quite desperate.
[Êàðòèíêà: img_2]
Poor Paisley became notably depressed at having to spend her days indoors. Octo-Cat preferred being inside as a general rule, but the moment it stopped being his choice, he took to complaining loudly and doing so ceaselessly throughout the day. My home no longer felt like mine, thanks to the ridiculous expectations of our new neighbor.
“At least you’ll be moving away in a month. Everything will be back the way you like it in your new house,” I told Paisley to try to cheer her up. Of course that only reminded her that we would be splitting households after the wedding and sent her into an even greater state of despair.
My heart broke for the little dog, but honestly I didn’t know what else I could do to help her. Especially since each time we’d encountered animal control, they reminded me that the new neighbor was technically within her rights, just that most people never minded about these things. I did receive a fine for Octo-Cat’s little act of defiance, although I still don’t understand what exactly I’d been charged with.
Like anyone could control the comings and goings of a cat!
[Êàðòèíêà: img_2]
After a full two days without incident, we received a visit from the police. A noise complaint that seemed to stem from Pringle watching television at too great a volume. I’d forgotten my threat to remove it from his treehouse after all the drama with the neighbor that took over the week. We were told to turn it down and be more mindful in the future. The thing is I couldn’t hear his TV from our house, so how on earth had the neighbor heard it from hers?
[Êàðòèíêà: img_2]
Animal control came again the day after that. This time they were in search of the second dog the neighbor swore was patrolling her yard and upsetting her trash cans. Seriously, that woman really needed to have her eyes checked.
I helpfully let the officers investigate the entire house to prove we weren’t hiding a secret second dog and gently suggested that maybe they charge the neighbor with something for wasting so much of their time.
Honestly, the more we tried, the worse it got. Not even my sweet, lovable grandmother could charm her way into that woman’s good graces.
Nan, of course, became absolutely incensed after this exchange and even went so far as to hire her Realtor friend to see if, for the right price, we might buy the house next door right out from under the neighbor.“I can sell my old home and move in next door. Then we’ll be as close as close can be and also rid of the world’s biggest nuisance.”
But the transaction was a no go, and the next day we received another postmarked letter:
I know it was you.
Signed,
House #304
6
Over the course of the next week, we received visits from animal control and the police more days than not. At this point, I had half a mind to go pee on that cantankerous old woman’s porch myself. If I was getting repeatedly punished for things I hadn’t even done, I might as well actually get reprimanded for something I had.
It was fun to think about, but not something I’d ever do in real life. In fact, I didn’t really do anything at all. Other than complain ad nauseum to Charles, effectively ruining what was supposed to a romantic evening.
I’d also asked my lawyer fianc? if I could reasonably sue her for harassment or emotional pain and suffering or literally anything that might stick and get her to leave us alone.
Charles said he would research precedents but that it probably wouldn’t be worth the time and expense it would take to fight her in the courts. He also promised to help with our fencing project if I couldn’t find a contractor by that weekend.
This, of course, was provided I survived until then, which at this point seemed like a pretty big expectation of myself.
I returned from my date that night both exhausted and angry with myself for letting this new rival take up residence beneath my skin. My agitation skyrocketed when I noted police lights flashing outside the neighbor’s house.
Ugh.What could it possibly be now? I guessed I’d find out soon enough whenever the police came over to discuss the issue with me.
This neighbor was driving me out of my mind, and frankly I’d had quite enough. Perhaps that’s why I was raring and ready to go when I spotted those police lights next-door.
Rather than wait for the officers to make their way over to my house, I was going to go over and find out what was going on for myself. And instead of traipsing through the woods, I decided to track back down my driveway and then march right up hers.
I wasn’t usually a combative person, but the lady had never even given me a chance. Nan liked to say you caught more flies with honey than vinegar, but at this point, vinegar was the only thing I hadn’t tried. Watching my morose animals laze about the house this past week with no reprieve in sight had filled me past overflowing with both spit and vinegar aplenty. I had to do something to defend my household and get our lives back on track. Otherwise, what kind of a pet owner would I be?
As I stormed up the driveway, I noticed that multiple cars had arrived on the scene along with a red-and-white ambulance, meaning whatever complaint the old witch had cooked up this time was a real doozy.
Thankfully, I spotted my old friend Officer Bouchard among the crowd. He’d saved my life when we first met. Maybe today he could save my sanity.
I waved and shouted a greeting, pushing myself into a jog to close the space between us. Strangely, I didn’t spy my neighbor, even though she was typically right in the thick of whatever was happening.
“Listen,” I told Bouchard, unable to hide my scowl. “Whatever complaint that horrible woman has cobbled together this time, I assure you it’s completely off-base. She’s done nothing but make my life miserable since she moved in, and she—”