“Excuse me!” I called, wrapping my arms around myself to stave off the early morning cold. I was still barefoot, which didn’t help. “Excuse me! What are you doing?”
“Shhh, we’re about to start filming,” one of the men hissed in my direction before turning back to his team. “And in three… two… one… go.”
That’s when the door of the front RV flung open to reveal my friend Sharon carrying her white, long-haired cat Chester in her arms. “Oh, what a beautiful day for a wedding!” she exclaimed as the flowing fabric of her princess-cut evening gown swished around her ankles. “Don’t you think so, Chessy?”
The group of men moved around her before one yelled,“Cut!”
“I think there might be some confusion. The wedding’s tomorrow,” I called helplessly as Sharon set her cat down and rushed over to envelop me in a giant bear hug.
“Oh, I know. We all know that. But it takes work to get the right shots, so we figured we’d show up a day early to make sure we get it all on camera. Thank you again for agreeing to this. It will be the perfect finale to the first season of Chessy’s reality TV show.”
My jaw dropped and practically hit the ground.“I didn’t—I mean, I don’t— Come again now?”
She lifted what appeared to be a freshly manicured hand to her chest in shock.“Why, it was on my RSVP card. Didn’t you receive it?”
“You RSVPed with a plus-one,” I ground out, trying so hard not to show my anger in that moment.
“And then I wrote the lettersR andV. Sharon plus one extra RV. Our film crew.” Upon finishing her asinine explanation, her face suddenly crumpled at the corners. “We’re not unwelcome, are we? I’ve been talking this wedding up for the last several episodes. It would be a lot of work to remove all that, and then we’d have to come up with a different idea for the finale and everything. If our finale doesn’t land just right, we may not be asked to renew for a second season, and we can’t have that. Chessy is far too used to the glitz and glamour of celebrity life now. Besides, you knew I’d be filming through the end of June, so I just assumed an invite for me was an invite for the whole crew.”
Well, now what in the heck was I supposed to do with all that?
“There’ll be a handsome stipend for you, of course. In fact, the producers want to pay for your big day in its entirety.”
I gulped down my anxiety and forced a smile.“Sharon, that’s wonderful. Thank you,” I said, even though I now had one more massive thing to worry about. Forget about ruining the day. If the camera crew caught me at the exact wrong moment, my little secret could be exposed for all of America to see. And that would ruin my entire life.
Yes, I had no doubts that if anyone beyond my very tight inner circle found out about my strange ability to talk with animals, my life would be ruined. No one would ever let me live normally again, and that’s not the future I wanted to envision on this, the morning before my wedding.
“What’s with the circus?” my cat asked, appearing suddenly behind me thanks to the electronic pet flap on the porch.
I pressed my lips in a straight line, unable to answer without risking a full revelation.
Sharon, of course, wasted no time scooping him up into her thick arms.“Oh, Tubby Tabby! It’s so good to see you.”
Octo-Cat’s eyes widened in horror as our visitor brought her face closer and closer and then placed a kiss smack dab on his whiskered face.
“I will never forgive you for this, Angela. Never,” he hissed before taking a swipe at Sharon and then wriggling free and racing back inside.
At this point, I had at least one hundred such threats of him withholding forgiveness into eternity, so I wasn’t too worried about this one. Sharon’s early arrival with her cinematographers, on the other hand? Definitely a very big problem.
I stared at the ground, doing my best to tune everything out as I thought quickly.“I still have a lot to do over the next…” I twisted my arm to glance at my smart watch. “Twenty-seven hours and eighteen minutes,” I announced with a grimace, letting my arm fall back to my side.
“Say no more,” Sharon crooned. “Chessy and I are happy to help.”
“Actually.” I paused to clear my throat. “Actually, it will be easier if I just do it myself. I’m sorry. It’s just I have every single minute planned right until the main event. You’re welcome to hang out and help Nan while your crew gets their shots, though. In fact, I’m sure she’dbe happy for the company. C’mon, I’ll take you to her now.”
Sharon offered a sad smile that quickly morphed into a huge beaming grin.“I’d love to meet her, and I’d love it even more to have her all to myself. Lead the way.” She motioned with a big sweeping gesture, then brought her hands up to pat down the sides of her blonde pixie cut and make sure it was all in place. “I will have to get some shots with Chessy when the crew is done getting their B-footage, but I made sure to get myself ready before we even arrived.”
I nodded my approval as I led my overly punctual guest up the porch steps.“You look very nice. Hey, maybe you can show Nan how to make your famous lingonberry pie. She’s a baker too, you know.”
Sharon’s brows furrowed as she shook her head emphatically. “Oh, no, no, no. It just wasn’t the same after it cost that Junetta her life. Sure, it wasn’t my fault, but well, her death sort of tainted the whole thing, if you know what I mean.”
I definitely understood and respected her reasoning on that one, but I didn’t really have time to help her and Nan find common ground beyond that. I was already behind schedule as it was.
Thankfully my grandmother was right where I left her, and a few moments later, Sharon and I found her bustling about the kitchen, doing who-knows-what.“Nan, Sharon. Sharon, Nan,” I said before running back outside to lay down the law with the newly arrived film crew. Maybe I was becoming something of a bridezilla, but this was a pretty huge surprise to levy on someone right before her big day. A part of me wondered if my avian enemy Alpha hadanything to do with the unplanned arrival, but I quickly brushed that concern aside.
Apart from me, the only person I knew who could speak with animals was my long-lost Grandma Lyn. Now that I thought about it, she would be here any minute too. I’d definitely need to pull her aside and explain our heightened risk of discovery. In fact…
I grabbed my cell phone from my jeans pocket and attempted to give my second grandmother a call. No such luck. She was probably already en route, which meant I needed to be extra vigilant.
Suddenly, a hurricane of horrid what-if scenarios swept into my brain, threatening to destroy everything in its path. I stood immobilized as scene by scene of probable mishaps played before my eyes. This was not good. Not good at all.
In fact, was it too late for the groom and I to elope?
Maybe I should give Charles a call and—
“Miss, Miss.”
I was shaken from my stupor by the return of the balloon wrangler.
“I’m back with another batch. Is everything all right?”
“It’s going to be fine,” I reminded him, hating how enraged my usually perky voice sounded. “It’s all going to be fine.”
He nodded and backed away slowly, then took off to the backyard in a jerky power walk. I’d have laughed if I weren’t already about to cry.
3
As I was putting the finishing touches on the seating arrangements for our reception, a soft knock sounded at the door. Nan and Sharon had left to run some errands near an hour ago, which meant it was up to me to answer the unexpected knock.
I tugged the door open to reveal… no one.
Odd.
With a shrug, I began to close the door again, but a small voice stopped me.
“Excuse me. I was hoping we could talk, please, if you don’t mind.”
Pringle the raccoon stood on his hind legs, clutching a tiny envelope between his clawed fingers. I wasn’t yet used to him being polite, but ever since he’d joined AA—yes, Alcoholics Anonymous—he’d really turned over a new leaf. I loved that he was following the twelve-step program to overcome his obsessive and often hurtful behavior, even though I felt quite certain the little creature hadnever touched a drop of liquor his entire life.