Mags worried her lip before asking,“Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine, so long as the seagulls don’t ruin my big day—or one very specific seagull in particular.” I groaned and shifted my weight from foot to foot. Everything was hurting now. When was the last time I’d gotten a good night’s sleep? I simply couldn’t remember.
“I guess that explains all the balloons. I saw them peeking out from the backyard as we drove up,” Mags said with a grin as she bumped my shoulder. “One question, though. Why do you think a seagull is going to ruin your wedding?”
“Because he said he would,” I told her, thinking back to that tense encounter on the pier. “Or at least he strongly implied it.”
“We’re all done for the day,” a man called before stepping out of the forest. Right, the film crew. I had completely forgotten they were here, which meant I’d forgotten to be careful. If I made it through this ordeal—yes, that’s how I’d now taken to thinking of my wedding—unscathed in the end, I’d be truly shocked.
“Great, thanks!” I called out to the reality show guys as Mags studied me curiously. Of course, she didn’t know a film crew would be here because I hadn’t known either.
“We stay too much longer, the lighting will be inconsistent for our shots today and during the ceremony tomorrow, so we’re calling it for the day but will be back bright and early tomorrow.”
Okay, okay. I didn’t need a whole long-winded explanation. I just needed them gone, and they could take the circling seagull with them. I was just about to tell them as much when their front man asked, “Can you recommend a good restaurant where we can grab some grub?”
“Little Dog Diner in Misty Harbor. World’s best lobster rolls,” I recommended by rote; it had become such an automatic answer to that question I didn’t even need to think about it anymore. At least the thought of my favorite lobster roll brought a brief moment joy and relaxation.
“We’ll check it out. Thanks, and see you tomorrow!”
And just like that the moment was gone. I sighed as I waited for them to pack up their equipment in the RV they had parked around the side of the house. The fact I failed to notice it proved just how out of it I’d become.
“What can I do to help?” Mags offered. “Put me to work, even if it’s just listening.”
And that’s when it all came pouring out of me in an angry torrent. I told her everything about the complaining sphynxes, the engaged felines who wanted to start a family, about the awkwardness between my two grandmothers, about the minister having to cancel last minute—
“Let me stop you right there,” Mags said, placing a hand on each of my shoulders. “I can marry you.”
I rolled my eyes at the suggestion.“That’s sweet, Mags, but I’m marrying Charles.”
She hit me playfully on the shoulder.“Not like that, weirdo. I can marry you both. I can perform the ceremony.”
I stared at her, waiting for her to explain how that could even be remotely possible. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait long.
“Earlier this year, around Easter actually, I was doing this TikTok series where I sold blessed candles as part of our new Holy Smokes line. Well, it was a huge hit, and orders were way beyond what Aunt Linda and I expected. It became easier for me to get ordained than to keep visiting the local pastor every time I finished casting another batch. So, yeah, technically I am now a woman of the cloth, you know, in the loosest definition of the word.”
“Mags, that’s great.” Finally one thing had gone right. Was this a sign the tides could be turning in my favor. “You are a life saver. Literally.”
“I know,” my cousin said with a proud grin. “I make it a point to be awesome. Now what else can I help with?”
“Actually there is one thing,” I admitted before leading her inside. I thought I spotted another flash of white moving swiftly across the sky, but it could have been my mind playing tricks on me.
Anything was possible at this point, and that realization terrified me.
“So this little one is Jacques, and the big one is Jillianne. They’re Charles’s cats, and they live here now, but neither they nor Octo-Cat are very happy about it.”
“I don’t like how all humans look the same these days,” Jacques took a break from licking his paw to say.
“I don’t like that she’s pawing us off on some stranger,” Jillianne wanted me to know.
I worked hard to keep my composure as I explained,“The expression ispawning off, notpawing off,and this isn’t a stranger, it’s my cousin Mags.”
“I don’t like Mags,” the larger cat said, then took a swipe at me as if to prove her point.
I shot Jillianne a warning look. Honestly, Jacques probably wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t always following her lead. But I also had no way of knowing since it was absolutely impossible to separate them.
“They’re from France. Their first owner was murdered, so Charles adopted them a couple years back,” I continued to explain to Mags. “And basically they will not stop complaining. I figured maybe you could try to help them get settled in. You know, since you can’t hear all the nasty thingsthey’re saying, maybe it will be easier.”
Mags gasped.“They’re saying nasty things? Are they saying nasty things… about me?”
“Noooo,” I grimaced as I attempted this little white lie.
Mags caught on immediately.“They are, aren’t they?” she grumbled, glancing from naked cat to naked cat. “Well, I guess that’s fine. I can’t understand them, and I can definitely take them in a fight, so there’s that.”
“I don’t like that you’re assigning us a babysitter.”
“I don’t like that she’s talking about fighting us.” At this point it didn’t even matter which cat was saying what. I was so exasperated with both of them.
“Perfect. You’re saving my life once again,” I told Mags with an exaggerated smile so she knew how much I appreciated her. “Oh, and while you’re watching them, could you maybe also just peek out the window every few minutes and let me know if you spot any seagulls hanging around?”
“I can,” Mags said slowly, glancing toward the nearby bay window, “but aren’t there good seagulls and neutral seagulls in addition to this one bad one? How will I tell them apart?”
Yikes, she was right.“Okay, scrap the seagull thing then. Just make sure you don’t let these two out of your sight.”
“You can count on me,” she promised with a salute.
That left Alpha to me then.
8
“Are you ready to do the final fitting on your gown?” Nan asked later that afternoon. Things had mostly calmed down now that both guests and vendors were done coming and going.
Mags kept an eye on Charles’s cats as promised. She locked both them and herself in one of the spare bedrooms, telling me I was not to come in under any circumstances—otherwise I might spoil her special surprise.
Christine floated around the house offering help here and there, but after I declined her assistance a few times, she stopped offering it. It certainly didn’t help that whenever she left the room, our Chihuahua Paisley ran over to bark at her and herd her back into the room.
“Am I helping, Mommy?” she asked me brightly, wagging her tail so fast it was a blur.
I nodded in response, just to be on the safe side. The film crew was gone, but Octo-Cat’s girlfriend’s owner didn’t know my secret yet, either. She just suspected I was an over-the-top crazy cat lady, which admittedly was also true.
I’d spent most of the last few hours calling guests and vendors to make sure everyone was prepared for their part tomorrow. Thankfully, I was able to place most of those calls while pacing around the yard outside. Unthankfully, I hadn’t managed a sure sighting of Alpha in all that time. I’d just need to remain vigilant.