“—heeaaarg gh!”
“I heard you the first time,” Ashnak growled.
The big orc leaned on the rail. Some yards below, Tech-Colonel Ugarit (having landed on the upper tier of oars) was clambering back up towards the ship’s side. Ahead, there was nothing but the open sea. White waves flecked the deeps.
“Not seen, sir!” the elven lieutenant Gilmuriel reported to Ashnak. His golden eyes appeared to be slightly crossed. Ashnak looked at the elf marines, their dogtags removed, who clustered round the enormous retrofitted harpoon launcher that occupied all of the galley’s bow-space. Most of the elf marines were leaning over the side of the ship.
“Sorry, sir,” Gilmuriel added, wiping at a stain on his woodland camouflage. “You really need the Sea Elves for this, sir—blehh!”
Ashnak sidestepped smartly.
“Do I have to do everything myself?” The great orc leaned precariously over the rail, staring ahead through rubber-armoured binoculars. A sibilant hiss and Magda Brandiman’s gracious greeting told him they had been joined by Hive Commander Kah-Sissh.
“There, sir.” Major-General Barashkukor tugged his commanding orc’s sleeve. “Sir, there, sir!”
“Where?”
“There!”
“I said—oh, fuck it!” Ashnak picked the orc major-general up by the back of his collar. “Point, dammit!”
Ashnak followed the direction of the small orc’s quivering finger. He narrowed his beetle-browed eyes.
At first the orc saw nothing. The Graagryk Navy appeared to be passing through a shallower part of the Inland Sea, brownish weed floating some distance under the surface. Ashnak narrowed his eyes against the sun flashing off the waves. Salt crusted his nostrils as they flared to scent the air.
“Nothing!” he swore. “Magda, woman, you told me the Kraken had been sighted here in the Inland Sea—well, where is it?”
Major-General Barashkukor continued to point, his skinny fingers shaking. The small orc made a mewling sound, dangling from Ashnak’s fist, and a thin trickle of liquid spattered down onto the deck. Ashnak dropped him and leaped up to stand on the Gibbet and Spigot’s prow.
“There,” Magda Brandiman said.
From high on the prow, Ashnak looked across the waves to the fleet’s smaller galleys and sailing ships. A pearl mist dulled the sun. The mass of shallow-water weed stretched out around the fleet to the horizon.
The brown weed’s tendrils waved, thick as redwood trunks.
The brown weed opened one lazy golden eye and stared up at Ashnak.
Ashnak stared down at the vast, sea-encompassing coils of the Great Kraken.
“Yo!” The orc beamed and sprang down onto the deck. Ashnak strode over to Hive Commander Kah-Sissh, who stood on the quinquireme’s deck, towering over the diminutive female halfling. He grinned up at the exoskeletal Bug.
“Your egg needs its host living.” Ashnak jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “New marine-issue harpoon system. Visible College magic, sleep-inducing weapons, guaranteed to put out anything.”
Tech-Colonel Ugarit, having regained the deck, dripped and muttered something about “field-tests” and “prototype models.”
Ashnak slapped Lieutenant Gilmuriel on the back, seized the elf marine’s collar to prevent him from ricocheting overboard, and bellowed, “Load up and fire! Barashkukor! Signal all ships to fire at will! Go, go, go!”
Two hundred orc rowers dug their heels into the boards, backing oars. Rashes of signal flags broke out on the lines. The orc marine crew of the S.S. Gibbet and Spigot hurtled to their stations, unearthing from the cargo hold league upon league of fine, magic-wove netting.
Ashnak, holding his cocked hat on with one taloned hand, sauntered back across the deck to stand with Magda Brandiman. Nets whisked into the air, opening and falling; a rain of harpoons darted out from every ship of the Graagryk fleet. Ashnak craned his squat neck to look up at the Bug.
“Son, if you got any complaints, now’s the time to tell me. Once we’ve caught it, we sure as hell ain’t going to throw it back.”
Hive Commander Kah-Sissh hissed with pleasure, dripping acid slime on the quinquireme’s deck. “It will suffice.”
Madga Brandiman leaned on the rail and watched a vast golden eye close. “I think we can probably consider the peace treaty ratified now, Hive Commander. Don’t you?”
Orc marines cheered. Water flashed, dropping in diamonds from the raised orcs of the quinquireme. Vast scaly tentacles broke above the waves, and subsided. The less speedy ships of the Graagryk Navy closed in, adding their own magic-assisted stun harpoons to the melee.
Major-General Barashkukor looked thoughtfully up at his Supreme Commander.
“Sir, what do you think, sir? Could we have a campaign medal struck for the Great Kraken Hunt, sir? Could we, sir? Please, sir?—OW!”
Half an hour later, Admiral of the Fleet Ashnak, upon returning to his cabin, found the door ajar. Desert Eagle pistol in hand, he kicked the cabin door open.
A male halfling, black hair showing a plentiful crop of grey, sat cross-legged on the admiral’s chair behind the desk. His black doublet and breeches and yellow ruff showed some travel stains. A rapier and dagger were visible at his waist, and there was an additional bulge under one armpit.
“Stepfather,” Will Brandiman greeted Ashnak.
The big orc slammed the cabin door shut. With a nasty gleam in his eye, he advanced on the halfling.
“Ned knows I’m here,” Will said. “I don’t know where Ned is, exactly. Something to do with Archipelago silk, I believe. Anyway, he’ll be only too pleased to tell Mother that I didn’t accidentally fall off a galley, if I don’t show up after today.”
Ashnak crossed the cabin in a stride, opened the drinks cabinet, and downed half a bottle of Spice Isles brandy without blanching. He wiped his mouth on the gold-embroidered sleeve of his naval jacket. “Whaddya want?”
“Is that any way to speak to your stepson?” Will Brandiman enquired. “You should be pleased that I’m taking an interest in your work, Father.”
“Don’t,” Ashnak said, “push your luck.”
Will Brandiman smiled a slick smile and slipped down from the chair. He rested his shoulder against the edge of the admiral’s desk.
“Nice setup for taking the Kraken,” Will approved. “Got the whole Visible College running ’round supplying you, I see. Funny how anxious they are now to work for the Great Peacemaker Ashnak, isn’t it? Be a shame if any evidence came to light that would start the Red Gullies war crime scandal up again, what with the Dark Lord’s coronation as Ruler of the World coming up and all.”
The orc shoved his Desert Eagle automatic pistol back in its holster. “You’re bluffing.”
“Probably,” Will Brandiman agreed. “But I’m a generous halfling. I’m not asking for favours. Not really.”
“Well?”
“Funnily enough, Stepfather,” the stowaway halfling said, “there is something you can do for me…”
Ashnak stripped off his jacket, kicked off his seaboots, and thudded down into the admiral’s carved chair. His bright eyes fixed on the halfling with unwavering bale.
“What is it this time? Grand larceny? You’re stealing Ferenzia because it’s not nailed down? Well, I got news for you, boy. This time the answer’s ‘no’!” The Great Peacemaker Ashnak showed his tusks in satisfaction. “Frankly, son, I wouldn’t piss on you if your hair was on fire. Now, out!”