Daniel listened to the ring as he sipped his drink. The very smell of the drink reminded him of Minnie.
‘Hello?’ The voice sounded echoey, lonely, as if spoken in a dark hall.
‘Hello, I wanted to talk to … Jane Flynn?’
‘Speaking. Who is this?’
‘My name’s Daniel Hunter. I was … Minnie Flynn was my … If I’m right she was your brother’s wife?’
‘You know Minnie?’
‘Yes, can you talk right now?’
‘Yes, but … how can I help you? How is Minnie? I often think of her.’
‘Well, she … died this year.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry. That’s awful. How did you say you knew her …?’
‘I’m her … son. She adopted me.’ The words took the breath from him and he leaned back against the sofa, winded.
‘How awful,’ she said again. ‘God … thank you so much for letting me know. What did you say your name was?’
‘Danny …’
‘Danny,’ Jane repeated. Daniel could hear children screaming with laughter in the background, above the sound of the television, and wondered if these were her grandchildren.
‘Did you know her well?’ he asked.
‘Well, we all used to go out together in London when we were young. She and Norman met down here. We would go dancing, have fish and chips. After she and Norman moved back to Cumbria – not so much.’
‘You and Norman were from up there originally?’
‘Yes, but I rarely went back. Norman missed it, missed the life, but I’ve always liked the city. When is the funeral?’
‘It was a few months ago. I’m late in calling round …’ Daniel coloured slightly: assuming the guise of the dutiful son. ‘She left me her address book and I saw your number in it. I thought I’d ring, just in case you were still there … in case you wanted to know.’
‘I appreciate it. Such sad news, but … God bless her, she didn’t have an easy life, did she?’
‘Do you know what happened to them – Delia and Norman?’ Daniel could still feel his cheeks burning.
‘It took me years to get over it. Part of me was always angry with Minnie … That must sound awful to you, I’m sorry, but of course now I realise that was wrong of me. It’s just how you feel when something like that happens. You want to blame someone, and you can’t blame your brother. I think that was why we didn’t keep in touch. I know you must think I’m awful …’
‘I understand,’ said Daniel, quietly. ‘What happened to Norman?’
‘Well, when Delia died, Norman took a shotgun into the garden and … put it into his mouth. Minnie wasn’t home. The neighbours found him. It was in all the papers. I understood him being … He loved that little one, but it wasn’t his fault … Their marriage was ruined, you see. I think they went through a really black period. He blamed Minnie for it, you see …’
‘I think Minnie blamed herself.’
‘She was driving after all … He made it to the hospital to see her one last time: he was with the little one when she died but he … he never recovered. It was just a few months after she died that he killed himself.
‘I hope you never have to go through that, Danny. I was up in Cumbria for my niece’s funeral, then back three months later for my brother’s. Is it any wonder I don’t care to go back there now?’
‘What was Minnie like, at Delia’s funeral, I mean?’
‘She did well. She had us all back to the house and she’d made a spread. She didn’t shed a tear. We were all in bits, but the pair of them had it together. I remember something though …’
‘What was that?’
‘We were done. The priest had said his bit. The gravediggers were filling in the hole, but then Minnie twisted away from Norman and ran back and threw herself down in the mud by the grave. She was wearing a pale grey flowery dress. She threw herself down on her knees by Delia’s grave and reached in over the edge. We had to pull her back. Norman had to pull her back. She would have gone into that grave with her. That was the only sign really, that she was, that she was … When we were back at the house she had made sponge cakes. Fresh sponge cakes, not bought, her own. She must have been up baking the night before. And I remember her passing them around with a smile on her face and her eyes dry … but with those two brown circles of mud on her dress.’
Daniel didn’t know what to say. There was silence as he imagined the scene that Jane had described.
‘When Norman died, she didn’t try to throw herself into his grave. She hadn’t even changed her clothes, from what I could see. She was in her housecoat. She wasn’t even wearing stockings. There were no sponges at Norman’s funeral. Minnie just waited until it was over and then left. At the time I didn’t think kindly of her, but now I don’t blame her. She had reached her limit. We all have our limits, you know. She was very angry with him. God, I was too, after I got over the shock.’
Silence again.
‘I’m so sorry,’ said Daniel.
‘I know – it was a terrible business. Minnie and I didn’t keep in touch because I blamed her for causing Norman’s death, but the truth is … and I tell you, it’s only recently I’ve managed to admit this to myself … it was his choice, not hers, and it was a cowardly choice. We all die, after all. Nothing surer. He just couldn’t bear it. I knew Minnie, she would have hated that … cowardice … especially since she braved it out, and her loss must have been even harder to bear.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Why, because she was driving. She must’ve thought, what if the little one had been in the front with the seatbelt on … what if she’d swerved in a slightly different direction. It would send you mad. She did well to remain sane. I trust she did … ?’
‘Very sane,’ said Daniel, allowing himself a small smile. ‘Saner than most.’
He exhaled: half-sigh and half-laugh.
‘What do you do now, Danny? Where are you calling from?’
‘I’m a lawyer, I’m in London too. In the East End.’
‘I’m sorry for your loss, pet.’
‘Thanks for talking to me. I just …’
‘No, thanks for letting me know. I would’ve come to the funeral if I’d known. She was a good woman. All the best …’
Daniel hung up.
A good woman.
He finished his gin, thinking of the mud on her dress.
24
Minnie was on her knees in the dirt, planting flowers in the front garden. She pressed the cuttings down and then knuckled the earth around them. She sat up when Carol-Ann and Daniel walked past, school bags hanging off their shoulders, school shirts hanging out of their trousers.
‘A’right, Min’?’ said Carol-Ann.
Minnie got up and walked towards them, dusting the dirt from her hands on her skirt.
‘How did it go then?’
‘A’right,’ said Danny, throwing his school bag down on the grass. ‘Another five next week though.’
‘But these went well,’ Minnie prompted, taking Blitz by the scruff of his neck to stop him sniffing at Carol-Ann. ‘You feel confident …’
‘Who knows,’ said Daniel. He was taller than she was now, but even though she looked up at him when he spoke somehow he still felt smaller. ‘It was OK. We’ll know soon enough.’
‘OK is good. Carol-Ann, are you staying for your tea, pet? It’s Friday, I bought some fish.’
‘Aye,’ she said. ‘That’d be great, like, Min’.’