‘Thank you, Dr Baird.’
The court adjourned for lunch and Sebastian was taken downstairs. Daniel walked alone through the Old Bailey halls, running a hand through his hair. He felt angry with himself. He had been wary of Baird’s evidence and now castigated himself for not thinking it through more fully. Their first witness had been turned, but he was glad that Irene had been able to bring him back. He’d tried to catch her leaving court – he wanted to congratulate her for her recovery – but she had to speak to her pupil about another case.
Daniel wasn’t hungry. He slotted coins into the drinks machine, choosing a coffee instead of lunch. While he was waiting, he felt fingernails dig into his upper arms and turned to find Charlotte almost in tears. She was Sebastian’s alibi from 3 p.m. on the day of the murder, and was due to testify after lunch.
‘Daniel, I don’t know if I can do this,’ she said. ‘It’s that man I’m afraid of – I watch him ripping people apart. I’m scared I’ll trip up … ’ Daniel knew that she meant Jones.
‘You’ll be fine,’ said Daniel. He heard his tone as deep, almost severe, but he didn’t want her to fall apart and instinct told him not to indulge her. ‘Keep your answers short like we discussed with Irene. Talk about what you know and nothing else. You’re not on trial, remember.’
‘But my son is. I see the way they’re all looking at me, like I’m the mother of some kind of … devil.’
‘Don’t even think that. He’s innocent and we’re going to prove he is, but you’re an important part of that. We need you to win this. You’re his mother and he needs you to stand up for him.’
Twice he had said these words to Charlotte. He wanted to shake her. He knew what it was like to have a mother who was as dependent as a child, who had been unable to protect him.
Charlotte looked upwards at the high vault of the Central Criminal Court. She searched its expanse as if for answers. When she looked down again, a black tear spilled, which she wiped away quickly with an already blackened tissue. He remembered the touch of her nails on his abdomen. Looking at her, he felt again a wave of disgust and pity so strong that he had to look away.
‘You can do this, Charlotte,’ he said. ‘Sebastian’s counting on you.’
When Charlotte was called, she was composed, but Daniel still held his breath as he watched her make her way to the witness box. The outlines of her elbows were visible through the sleeves of her jacket. Sebastian leaned forward, hands stretched out in front of him on the table, as if trying to reach out to her. Charlotte cleared her throat and took a sip of water. From a distance she seemed fragile but strikingly beautiful, her features even and her eyes huge.
Irene was warm and conversational when she began her examination in chief. She had one elbow on her lectern and addressed Charlotte in a familiar, gentle way although the two women had only spoken briefly.
‘Just a few short questions … Can you tell us what you remember about the day of 8 August this year?’
‘Yes,’ said Charlotte, at first quietly, but soon gaining confidence. ‘I wasn’t feeling very well that day. My husband was overseas and after I made Sebastian’s lunch I decided to have a lie-down.’
‘What did Sebastian do on that day?’
‘Well, he went out to play while I was lying down.’
‘Did you know where he went to play?’
‘Well, normally he just plays in the road, sometimes with the neighbours’ children, but even if he goes to the park I can often still see him from the top-bedroom window, it’s so close.’
‘Did you watch him as he played on that day?’
‘No, I just had a lie-down. I had a headache.’
‘When did Sebastian return home?’
‘It was just before 3 p.m.’
‘You’re quite sure?
‘Quite sure.’
‘And when he returned home, did he appear different, for example very dirty – were his clothes visibly marked?’
‘No more than usual.’ Charlotte allowed a small smile. ‘He’s a little boy. He often comes home in a bit of a mess, but no, there was nothing unusual.’
‘What about his behaviour, did he seem troubled or upset?’
‘No, not at all. We had a snack together and watched some television.’
‘Thank you.’ Irene nodded and sat down.
Daniel exhaled and leaned in towards Sebastian. ‘You OK?’ he whispered to the boy.
‘Don’t let him be mean to her,’ Sebastian whispered back, not turning to Daniel as he spoke.
‘Don’t worry,’ Daniel assured him, although he too was concerned about Jones’s cross-examination. He knew Charlotte could not take a lot of pressure.
Jones managed a toothless smile before he began. Charlotte was rubbing her neck, her eyes flicking anxiously in the direction of the public gallery.
‘Mrs Croll, does your doctor prescribe any medication that you take on a regular basis?’
Charlotte cleared her throat and then said, ‘Yes … I have trouble sleeping and I have problems with… anxiety, so I take … em … diazepam, beta-blockers, fairly frequently, and on nights when I can’t sleep … temazepam.’
‘I see, quite a cocktail. And on 8 August, did you take any … diazepam, for example?’
‘I don’t remember exactly, but most likely I would have. Most days I need to take one, to calm me down.’
‘I see, so you admit taking sedatives on 8 August while your son went out to play, but you are now testifying under oath that you are certain he returned at 3 p.m. sharp?’
‘Yes, I lay down, but I didn’t actually sleep that day. I was not feeling well and just needed to calm down. I heard Sebastian come in at three o’clock and then I made us something to eat. I didn’t sleep. I know I didn’t sleep. I was too … tense. I know what time he came home.’
‘Do you love your son, Mrs Croll?’
‘Yes, of course.’
Sebastian reached over the table again when his mother spoke. Daniel noticed that he was smiling at his mother across the courtroom.
‘And you would do anything to protect him?’
‘Anything I could.’ Charlotte was looking straight at Sebastian.
‘When the police came to the house on Monday, you were reportedly home but fast asleep. So … out of it, that you didn’t even realise that your son had been taken to the police station, is that correct?’
‘Yes, on that day I was asleep. The anxiety often builds up and on Monday I was exhausted. But on Sunday I was awake and I know the time that he came home.’
‘A witness has testified that he saw Sebastian in the Barnard Park Adventure Playground fighting with the deceased much later that afternoon. In fact you have no idea what time your son came home. You were drugged up and oblivious that day.’
‘That’s not true. It could have been someone else he saw. I know I was awake that day. I was sick with nerves. I couldn’t have slept if I’d tried. He came home at three o’clock, of that I am certain.’
‘Sick with nerves. I am sure you are, Mrs Croll, sick with nerves. How many milligrams of Valium did you take on 8 August?’
Charlotte coughed. ‘Ten. I only have ten-milligram tablets, sometimes I bite half, but that day I had a full one.’
‘And we are to believe that you were still conscious, let alone aware of the hour, after ten milligrams of Valium?’
‘I have been taking anti-anxiety drugs for some time. Ten milligrams has a sedative effect on me, but no more. You can ask my doctor, smaller amounts don’t even calm me. I know my son was home at 3 p.m.’
Daniel smiled and exhaled. Jones finished his questioning and Charlotte made her way back to her seat. Her elbows were sharp wings. She glanced briefly at Sebastian and Daniel before she sat. Daniel turned to her and mouthed: You did well.