He'd known from the moment he met Ava that one of them would eventually have to leave Circ central. He wanted her, but he couldn't have her. And now seeing she was Circ, he really had to go. After he dealt with the dickheads trying to kill the team, he'd look for another place to live. It would kill him to leave his friends, to leave Ava, but he had no choice. He'd learned his lesson the hard way.
Best to sacrifice his happiness than kill an innocent woman, the way his father's berserker had killed the women in Tersch's life.
He groaned and lay back on the blankets covering a section of the dirt floor.
Since he'd discovered the place months ago, he'd taken pains to make it more livable. Hayashi had helped, and Tersch now had a place to sleep, a stash of Tastykakes in a cooler to repel wildlife, and several bottles of water he filled from a nearby natural spring. Solitude and silence, just what he needed.
“I know you're in there.”
He jumped to his feet in shock when Ava pushed through the open doorway, bathed in moonlight. “What the hell?”
“Didn't hear me or smell me, I know. What can I say? I'm good.” She grinned, and the sight of her smug smile pained him enough to bring tears to his eyes.
Don’t be a pussy, Son. Man up. He heard his father's scornful words and felt the open-handed slaps to his face as if he'd been struck yesterday. So much for years of distance and repressed memories to salve the pain.
He turned before she spied his weakness, embarrassed anew. So much for control. The damned woman unraveled him like a fucking black widow.
“Gunnar?”
Shit. Not the soft, concerned voice. “I need space, Ava.”
“I know. That's why I'm here.”
Did she not hear him? “I said—”
“I know what you said. But you're an idiot. You don't know what you need.”
“Didn't you listen before?” Anger returned, and as much as he welcomed the strength of the emotion, he feared it as well. He couldn't get too carried away, or the berserker would return to hurt Ava.
“I said shut that bitch up!” Eric yelled. He struck Sophie so hard, she hit the table and sliced open her forehead. “I want space, quiet. I can’t think with all that racket.”
Momma stared at him in silence, a broken woman. And then Susanna made a noise, and his father pushed open the door to his bedroom, where Gunnar had been hiding her. She’d showed up at the house unexpectedly. He’d warned her never to come around. Especially not with Eric home, drinking, mad…
“I won't go away. Not again.” Ava's beast stared at him through dark black eyes. “I've come to claim my mate.”
He snorted, trying to pretend he wasn't shaking. “Bullshit. You're just pissed because I don't want you.”
She had the nerve to laugh, then hit him so fast and with such force, he saw stars. Before he could recover, she moved in a blur and stuck him with a specially tipped needle to penetrate his thick skin. Even in human form, Circ skin was tough.
She depressed the plunger and injected him with something. Tersch wanted to be mad, but both his beast and his berserker approved the trickery. Good mate.
Smart.
“It'll just relax you a bit. Enough to hide your rage under a calming haze, but not too much.” She smiled at him.
God, she was so pretty. Crazy but gorgeous.
“Now you just lay there while I strip those clothes off you.” Alarmed at the idea, he protested, gratified he had enough cognizance to know she shouldn't get him naked. “No. The shit you gave me isn't working fast enough. If I can still think, I can still get mad. Leave me, Ava. I don't want to hurt you.”
“You won't. You love me,” she said defiantly, as if daring him to contradict her.
“And you love me. So how stupid does that make you?” he growled. “Now let me… When—What the fuck did you put on my wrists?” Shocked, he tugged but couldn't free himself from the dark cord wrapped around his wrists and fastened to stakes on the ground on either side of his head.
“I told you I'm fast, sweetie.” Ava hummed under her breath as she used her claws to strip him of the trousers he wore. He'd left the house the day before while changed and didn't wear anything else.
“Man, have I told you how much I love that you go commando? That is one beautiful cock.”
His dick stiffened, pointing directly up at her. To his mortification, he felt his cheeks heat. “Ava, come on.” He squirmed and sucked in a breath when she closed her small hand around him.
“You're so thick, I can't wrap my hand around you. You're always big, aren't you? Even when you're not changed.” She licked her lips, and he groaned. “Now, this is how it's gonna be. I'm going to ride you until you're begging me to come. Then I'm going to make you bleed and do it all over again.” She lifted a hand and flashed her pretty claws at him.
The meanness in her tone turned him on so much, his dick grew wet. Not just from the oils he naturally secreted when changed, but from a burst of precum that dampened his slit.
“You can't. The beast might play nice, but my berserker's going to hurt you, Ava. Why the hell do you think I've never claimed you before?”
“Maybe because you're scared?” she taunted. “Not used to fucking a woman who can put you on your ass.” She ran a claw down his belly, and he shuddered.
“Hard to pound into a woman you're afraid of crushing under all that might, hmm?”
“Dammit,” he rasped, completely under her spell. He could barely concentrate on anything but the feel of her sharp nails over his skin. She didn't play nice at all.
She dug hard enough for him to feel it, but not hard enough to break the skin.
“I can do this all night.” Ava chuckled. “But I don't think you'll last that long.”
“I can last forever if I have to.” An empty threat, and they both knew it. His cock felt so hard right now, he feared he'd come without much more provocation.
She wiped her fingers over his slit and rubbed it over his cockhead.
He bucked in her hand.
“I already know how good you taste.” She licked her lips. “Do you remember how good my mouth feels?”
“Shit.” He panted, trying to bring himself back under control. He'd never been this turned on, and he kept worrying that his beast would push past the drug she'd given him. Once his beast took control, his berserker wouldn't be far behind.
“No, no. That's not right. I want your honest response, Gunnar.” Ava remained clothed, and the sight of her fully dressed while he was naked lent her an impression of power. Impression? Hell, the woman has me tied down like a fucking sacrifice.
“I'm not going to tell you again. Let me g—Ava!” She swallowed his cock in one large breath, taking all of him to the back of her throat. She didn't move or suck him, just held him there, helpless, aching, and needing to come so badly.
“Baby, oh yeah. Fuck me,” he pleaded.
She slowly withdrew until the tip of him rested against her plump lips.
He couldn't stop staring at the erotic sight, drugged on her skillful play.
“Where do you want it, sweetie? In my mouth or in my cunt?” Hearing her talk like that, watching her lick and nibble at his cock, turned him inside out. He felt his berserker rage to break free, and then Ava slapped his chest hard and raked her nails down his abdomen, drawing blood.
“You, wait for it,” she snarled, and he had the oddest notion she spoke not to him, but to his berserker.
Staring up into pitch-black eyes bemused him enough that he ceased movement. His berserker stared into the Circ he wanted with his last breath. To his astonishment, he felt something inside him give. He couldn't understand how this slight female could break him down so completely. But he couldn't deny his berserker's subtle approval. A distant surrender.