Oh, dear God. “You told me you killed them.”
“I did.” The hollow look in his eyes scared her. So much pain. How had she never seen it before? “I didn't protect Sophie, and I dragged Susanna into the mess.”
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen. Nearly seventeen. Old enough to know better.”
“So what happened?” He seemed steeled for pity, but she didn't give him any, and he relaxed under her.
“Something in me snapped. I don't remember much, only a rage unlike anything I'd ever felt before. My berserker.” His smile was devoid of warmth. “It finally woke up. I ripped the fucker's head clean off and passed out. When I came to, I was in the hospital. Social services took me from my mother. When she told them I'd turned into a monster and killed him, they accused her of being on drugs. She did like to drink a lot. Anyway, I escaped into foster care for a year or two, then joined the navy. The rest is history.”
They lay there together, each watching the other warily.
Ava wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but she knew he wouldn't accept it. God, I love him so much. She cleared her throat and changed the subject.
“Thanks for explaining; I was curious. Ah, I had another message from Grayson earlier. The bastard knocked me out cold again.” Gunnar sat up suddenly and cuddled her against him, checking her scalp and then the rest of her for injury. “You idiot. Why didn't you tell me? Are you okay? I'm going to brain your brother when I see him again.” Ava bit her lip to hide a smile. Her mate recovered quickly from his sorry past when her health was in question. And there was the secret to Frederik Gunnar Tersch. The grizzly was actually a marshmallow inside once she peeled past the gruff exterior.
“I'm fine, Gunnar.” At his look, she admitted, “Okay, so he knocked me out again. This time he was much more careful to speak slowly. He's being held prisoner, drugged up and held in Melissa's 'playhouse,' wherever the hell that is, with Melissa and a few rogue Circs standing guard. Apparently, she's more worried about Jack finding her than any of us reaching her. Grayson's positive they weren't in on it together to betray us. He told me to talk to Jack. And he's set Jack up to come here, on the pretext of saving Admiral London from us.”
“You lost me.”
“Grayson might be locked up, but my brother is really strong. Alicia Sharpe strong. He used up a lot of precious energy to telepathically link with Jack and told him that Admiral London would be in danger at our compound. The admiral will be here by noon tomorrow, and Grayson sent Jack instruction to help him get the admiral to safety.”
“Keiser doesn't know Grayson's been kidnapped?”
“No. Like I said, they've spoken telepathically, but not face-to-face. Jack has no clue this is a setup.”
“I didn't know Jack was a telepath.”
“He's not. Grayson is like Jesse. He makes the pathway for mental communication, and he takes it away at will. Unlike Jesse, he's not limited by distance.”
“Holy shit.”
She gave him a smug grin. “I told you he was strong. Now we need to get back, get cleaned up, and work with Jesse and Jules to finesse the admiral. I have a plan.”
She waited for Gunnar to take charge, at the very least, to order her around the way he normally did. But he surprised her.
“A plan, eh? Good. Let's nail Keiser to the wall. We'll get London to confess, and then you and I have a date in my bed.”
She grinned. “Yes, Master.”
“Oh man. Have I mentioned I have a real thing for handcuffs and whips?
You're going to love my porn collection.”
She shook her head, feigning disappointment. “Porn, Gunnar?”
“Please. If I know you, you have your own stash.”
“You're damned right. And none of mine involve girl-on-girl action, so forget it.”
“Aw, come on, Ava. What if I beg? What then?”
“Idiot.” She kissed him smack on the lips, wishing they could spend the rest of their lives alone together. Unfortunately, fate was never that kind.
They rose together, hand in hand, and left the cabin.
Chapter Nine
At eleven thirty the next day as he sat in the conference room, Tersch still couldn't wipe the grin from his face, no matter how hard Jules and Fallon laughed at him. The future he'd been afraid of having with Ava no longer seemed unattainable. He'd made love to his mate, and she'd screamed out her satisfaction.
Nothing but orgasms, some playful pain, and a lot of loving. He could do it; he could commit to her without fear of killing her. Just so long as they kept a ready supply of that suppressant on hand to keep his berserker at bay.
When he'd questioned her about it late last night, she'd shushed him and forced him into the shower. His little mate had control issues, but he liked letting her think she was in charge. He knew she expected him to kowtow to her. And he did, but only because he wanted to make her happy, not because she was really in charge.
“How the mighty have fallen,” Fallon said with mock sadness. He leaned closer, glanced around for Ava, and seeing her not present, whispered, “Pussy.”
“Fuck off.”
Jules laughed. “What happened to not needing a mate, a girlfriend, or a woman? I would love to say I told you so, but Sheridan said I have to be nice while she's gone.”
Fallon gave Jules a wounded look. “Then why have you been such a dick to me?”
“She didn't say anything about being nice to you.” Tersch leaned back in his chair and linked his hands behind his head. “Yep.
Once they've had a taste of me, everyone else pales by comparison.”
He nearly fell out of his chair when Ava shoved him forward.
She scowled. “For God's sake. Don't start comparing penis sizes.” Fallon laughed until she glared him into silence. Good to know Tersch wasn't the only one she bullied.
“Er, ah, hi, Ava.” Fallon smiled, putting his all into that polished charm that worked on anything female.
Apparently it worked on her as well, because she gave him a grudging smile.
“Hi yourself. Jules, you know what to do?”
Jules nodded. “I like it, Ava. You hold London here until Jack comes in. Then we'll circle around and lock him down tight. You sure you'll be okay by yourself with the admiral?”
“She'll be fine. The woman's lethal. Don't let the dimple fool you.” Tersch warned with pride. She had knocked him on his ass, no easy feat. For that alone he might have been enamored. But this plan of hers was so tricky and devious, he wanted to make love to her all over again.
The gleam in her eyes showed her pleasure.
“Ahem.” Jules waited until Tersch returned his attention. “If we could think with our big heads, guys?”
“Amen,” Ava muttered.
Jules frowned. “I'm not at all comfortable with having Jack Keiser running around the mansion. I still don't know what he's capable of. And he's a threat until I get the answers I want.”
“I can handle him,” Tersch promised. He wouldn't be taken unaware by Jack Keiser again. If he had to gut the asshole, he would.
“Now see, that's a problem.” Fallon sighed. “Tersch, you can't kill Keiser because he lied. We need to know what he knows about Melissa and this bigwig in DC. Please don't kill him until we have that at least.”
Ava groaned. “Don't kill him, period. Come on, Gunnar. You know what Grayson said. We need him to pull this off.”
“Your brother has a screw loose. How can we trust anything he said? He's being held prisoner and is probably drugged to the gills.” Ava's eyes narrowed. “You have a screw loose if you mess with my plan.” He rose and stood over her, looming like the predator he knew himself to be.