Not wanting Lucky to see her hunched over the toilet, she reached up to lock the door in time.
The doorknob twisted. “Baby, don’t do that. Let me in.”
Unable to speak, Baby’s body heaved relentlessly, leaving her breathless. Sweat broke out across her forehead and behind her neck.
“Open the door. You might pass out. I’m gonna kick the damn thing in.” Lucky’s panicked tone assured her he was serious.
Dragging her limp body up from the floor, Baby unlocked the door right before collapsing into Lucky.
“Shit!” One of his strong arms whipped around her waist while he slipped the other one under her legs. He carried her back to the bed and tucked her in under the sheet. Lucky disappeared and then returned with a wet washcloth and the small trashcan from the bathroom. “I’m gonna put this right beside the bed. You’re probably gonna need it.”
Baby’s heart raced like it was about to jump right out of her chest. Her head thumped against her skull. “Why are you doing this?”
“Do you seriously need me to answer that?”
“You probably want a good fuck, like everyone else. Go ahead, climb on in,” Baby sneered and threw back the sheet.
Lucky stood and stepped back from the bed. “I’m gonna ignore that because I know it’s the drugs talking and not you.” The wounded look in his eyes pissed her off.
“I don’t need your fucking pity. Get OUT!” She picked up the lamp from the end table and hurled it in Lucky’s direction, sending it crashing into the wall. “Can’t you take a damn hint? Get the fuck OUT!”
His eyes narrowed, drawing hard lines across his forehead. His mouth twisted, Lucky backed out of the room. He pulled the door behind him, leaving it cracked. She saw his boot cross the doorway as he slid down the wall, apparently refusing to leave her alone.
She wanted to be angry with him, but something stirred in her gut knowing he was right outside the door. Why the hell is here? The question must have run through her head a hundred times before passing out.
***
Baby drifted in and out of sleep with no concept of time. She didn’t know if an hour had passed or a day. Every part of her body screamed out in pain. She had evidently made good use of the trashcan. Towels scattered the floor. A glass sat on the end table where the lamp had once been. She tried to pick it up, but her trembling hands couldn’t grasp the glass, sending it to the floor.
Lucky jumped up and barreled into the room. “Are you ok?”
Her insides pitched back and forth, but there was nothing left to throw up. “I’m fine. Why are you still here?”
“I’m not leaving. You can be a bitch all you want, I’m staying.” Lucky defiantly shoved his hands into his jean pockets.
Baby rolled her eyes, pretending he didn’t have an effect on her. “Whatever.” She moved to the dresser and stripped away the silk robe, slipping an old Talking Heads t-shirt over her head. She dug through the top drawer. She opened the second one and did the same thing. Finally, she pulled out the drawers and dumped the contents onto the floor.
“What are you looking for?”
Baby Jade ignored the question and dumped out the drawer from the end table next to the bed. She rushed to the bathroom and rummaged through the cabinets.
Lucky filled the doorway, placing his hands above his head, grasping onto the frame. “You’re not gonna find anything.”
Baby glared at him, her eyes dark. She tried to scratch away the craving¸ making her skin raw on her arms. “What did you do with it?”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s gone.” His stone face gave no expression to give her a clue.
“I’ll call Slade,” she spewed settling her hands on both hips.
“He won’t answer. He couldn’t care less about you. He didn’t give a shit. He would have left you to die in that nasty ass bathroom. He’s gonna do everything he can to distance himself from you. For a while, at least.”
“Shit.” Baby examined the room trying to think about all her hiding places. She was at a loss. Something in her snapped and she went back to the only thing she knew.
Baby stepped closer to Lucky and dropped to her knees. “Come on, I’ll help you feel good and then you can help me feel good.” She fumbled with the top of his jeans.
Lucky gripped her wrists and slumped to the floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her.
She fought him, trying to pull away. She pounded her fists against his chest. The drugs helped take away the pain. Her loss. The shame and grief.
He held her close, whispering calming words. “Baby, it’s ok. It’s ok. I’ve got you and I’m not going anywhere.”
She pleaded with him. “I wanna feel good. Don’t you wanna feel good?” She buried her face and planted kisses on his neck, moving her way to his chest.
“Not like this, I don’t. Stop. This isn’t you.”
Baby sobbed and clutched his shirt, begging. “Please, it hurts. Please make it stop. I don’t want to hurt anymore.” She collapsed onto his lap.
Lucky cradled her in his lap and gently rocked back and forth. “You have no idea how much I want to take your hurt away, sugar. I would do anything to take away your pain and keep you from hurting ever again.”
“You can.”
Lucky kissed the top of her head, “You know I can’t do that. I won’t let you kill yourself. We both know that’s what you’re trying to do.”
She released her tense muscles. “I don’t want to feel anymore.” She sobbed until she blacked out.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lucky
Lucky let her cry, embracing her while they sat entwined on the bathroom floor, holding her until her body went limp. Out of tears, Baby whimpered until she fell into a deep sleep. He decided not to move.
He craved the Baby Jade he knew before. He craved her touch and her kiss. He had only been given a small amount of time with her before he drove her into Slade’s arms. If only he had been there for her instead of bailing. Leaving her to deal with all this shit on her own. And now, he was left feeling empty, like the best part of him was dead.
Holding her in his arms brought a small part of him back to life.
“I love you,” he whispered into Baby’s hair.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Baby Jade
Baby stirred. It took her a second to piece together why she was in the bathroom lying on Lucky’s lap. Turning her head up toward his face, she was startled to find him staring back at her.
“Hey,” he said with the slightest hint of a grin.
Baby gave a content sigh and pressed her head into his chest. “Hey.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. “How long have you been here?”
He stroked her hair. “Four days.”
She sat up and tilted her head to the side. “You can’t be serious? I’ve lost four days? And you’ve been here the whole time?”
“There’s nowhere else I’d be right now. How do you feel?”
She climbed out of his lap and stood. Her legs were still weak, but not shaking. “I think I’m a little better. Sore as hell, but not feeling like I’m going to explode. And seriously starving.”
“That sounds promising.” He stood and took her by the hand, leading her to the couch. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Lucky, I’m sorry. I can’t believe you stayed and took care of me after everything.”