Before leaving, Justin looked at the note he'd left for her earlier. He picked it up, crumpled it in his hand. There was no need for her to know that anything had happened now. So he wrote a new one. This one just said, "Thanks."
Back on the street, as he began heading toward Penn Station, he thought about the cat that had been killed. It saddened him and, as always, he was surprised that he'd become inured to the death of human beings but not to the killing of an animal. He supposed it was because animals were, for the most part, innocent. And people were, for the most part, anything but innocent. And he thought about how the murder of a human being almost always had a purpose. A twisted purpose, but there was an underlying reason, whether it was jealousy or greed or power. Murder was always a distorted means to a desperate end. But killing an animal. There was no purpose, no means, no end. To hurt a little animal meant that all you had to be was one sick, mean son of a bitch.
He thought about how he'd tossed the cat into the garbage can on the street.
Not much of a burial, Justin decided, not for something that only gave pleasure to people.
On the other hand, he thought, it served its purpose as well as most.
27
The only thing better than the quiet, late-night train ride back to Bridgehampton would have been half an hour in a crazy-hot steam room and a long, cold shower. But Justin was content to let the solitude and the relative quiet help wash the soiled feeling off his body. By the time he'd taken Fred's Taxi Service from the train station back to East End, he was relatively relaxed and guilt free.
He got into bed and decided he didn't even need a drink to help him sleep. Then he heard his cell phone. He'd left it downstairs and he'd also left it on vibrate, but he could hear the vibration as it resonated against the hard surface of his desk. He swung his legs out of bed and made it downstairs in time to catch the call. When he heard the caller's voice at the other end, he wasn't sure if he was glad or not that he'd moved so fast.
"Jay?" Abby Harmon said.
He didn't answer.
"Jay?" she repeated. "It's Abby."
"I know," he said.
"I'm sorry I haven't called you."
"Uh-huh" was the best he could muster.
"I wasn't allowed to talk to you. My lawyer forbade it."
"And what changed?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you."
"Okay," he said.
"You sound so cold," she told him. And when he didn't answer-what could he answer?-she said, "I don't know who's on my side anymore."
"I'm on your side," he said.
"Yes, I know you are. I do know that. But…"
"But what?"
"Everyone's telling me something different."
"What are they telling you, Ab?"
"I'm not supposed to discuss it with you."
"You're not going to fall for it, are you, if I ask you what it is you're not supposed to discuss?"
She breathed out the best laugh she could. "No," she said. "I'm not. But thank you for making me laugh. I haven't laughed since this all started. God, is it really not even a week?"
"Who else is telling you not to talk to me, Ab?"
"My lawyer. H. R. Everyone."
"You're talking to H. R.?"
"Yes. He's-he's been very supportive."
"So he doesn't think you actually killed his son anymore?"
"He never really thought that, Jay. He was just… He was upset. Evan's death was crushing to him."
"I didn't think he was crushable."
"I was wrong about him. He's-he's been a big help."
"Who else, Abby? Who else is helping you?"
"Lincoln."
"Lincoln Berdon?"
"Yes. He was always very close to Evan. He was his mentor."
"Abby, I'd really like to see you."
"I can't, Jay. It's not a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Because of the relationship we had. I'm still being investigated. And you're working with the FBI now. You're still investigating. My lawyers said I'm not allowed."
"How'd you know that?"
"What?"
"How'd you know I was working with the FBI?"
It might have been the very first time he'd ever heard her flustered. "I-I don't know. It was probably in the paper."
"It wasn't."
That was the end of her flustered tone. Her voice instantly turned sharp and distant. "Then I don't know, Jay. Someone told me."
"Who?"
"I don't know. Probably my lawyer."
"Abby… I need to talk to you. I need to know more about Ellis St. John."
"What does Elly have to do with this?"
"Elly's in this up to his fucking eyeballs."
"No, Jay, you can't be right about that."
"I am right."
"You're not," she said. "You weren't right about Ellis being missing, either. I just heard. Lincoln told me he had some kind of family emergency."
"Really?" Justin said. "What kind of emergency?"
"I don't know. But I know they've given him a leave of absence from R amp;W."
"How'd Lincoln happen to pass this info along to you?"
"I was surprised I hadn't heard from Ellis, because he and Evan were close. So I asked about him."
"Abby, I'm telling you. There's no emergency. He's got something to do with Evan's murder."
"I don't think so, Jay."
"Listen to me, Abby. Listen to what I'm telling you-"
"I can't." And before he could go on, she said, "I'm sorry, Jay."
"Sorry about what?"
"I know you're on my side. So… I'm just sorry."
"Abby…"
"Good-bye, Jay."
"Abby, I have to talk to you. Don't hang up."
"Bye."
"Abby…"
But she was gone. Jay stared at his open cell phone in frustration before snapping it shut.
What the hell had she done? What was she apologizing for?
He decided he needed that drink if he was going to get any sleep at all.
Justin found out first thing in the morning what Abby's phone call was all about. As soon as he stepped outside his front door to pick up the morning papers.
The headline on one tab was: widow speaks! The headline on the other tab was: true confession: he did it!
The stories were more or less consistent. Abby had spoken to the media the night before and what she'd basically said was: I've been a bad girl. I cheated on my husband. And now it's caught up with me because one of the men I cheated with-David Kelley-murdered the husband I really loved despite it all.
He sank back on the couch in disbelief and read more. There were several photos of Abby, many of them from her past, looking as glamorous and sexy as it's possible to look. Each paper had a similar shot of her from the day before: flanked by her lawyer and H. R. Harmon. She looked drawn and subdued and conservative.
Abby said she was speaking out publicly because she decided it was best to get the truth out in the open. She revealed that she and Evan had been having troubles for several years. There was never any question about their love for each other, but his business was so consuming that it seemed more important than their relationship. Abby confessed to being somewhat selfish and spoiled-that was by far the worst thing to which she confessed-and she said she was hurt when she realized she wasn't the center of his world. So she had affairs. Not many, but several. One of them was with David Kelley and that one got out of hand. Kelley wouldn't accept the fact that it was just an affair. He kept insisting it was going somewhere she knew it would never go. He talked all the time about how if Evan weren't around, they could be together. It never occurred to her to take him literally. Nor did she really take him seriously. It was just talk, she said. Even when she discovered that Evan had been murdered, it was inconceivable that Dave-she called him Dave by this point in the story-was involved. Then she found out that Evan had been tortured and that the means of torture was a stun gun. At this point in the story, one tab had her tearing up and becoming too emotional to continue for quite a while. The other tab just continued with the story line, which was that when she heard about the stun gun, she knew that Dave had to be involved. She didn't say anything for a few days, still not able to convince herself emotionally of the truth. Then the police came to her and told her that they knew about the gun. She told them what she knew: that Dave had one, that he'd even kept it at their house for a while. She said that she'd have to live with her guilt. She said that she thought she was doing something that she couldn't justify but still wasn't high on the list of evils-cheating on her husband. But she realized that all cheating and all lying had to be put high on the list of evils, because this is what the result could be.