At the first opportunity, Xavier disappeared to his room without saying a word to anyone. I wanted to follow him so we could be alone for a while. I imagined myself lying down beside him on the bed and pressing my head against his chest the way I used to do. I wanted to focus every shred of energy on letting him know I was there; to offer him what little comfort I could and let his presence comfort me. But Ivy and Gabriel were the ones planning the next move and I needed to stay put if I wanted to be kept in the loop.
“What’s with him?” Molly muttered as soon as Xavier shut the door behind him.
“I imagine he’s disturbed by tonight’s events,” Ivy said drily as she fitted her key into the lock. “He needs some time to process it.” I knew Molly’s naïveté irritated her sometimes.
For some reason, Molly was still purposelessly hovering beside my siblings. They both had the good grace not to ask what she wanted. Maybe she wanted out of the whole rescue mission. Maybe she’d taken on more than she bargained for and was ready to go home.
The bedroom door was painted a murky maroon color. With a heavy sigh Gabriel pushed it open and flicked the switches on the wall. The room was filled with a harsh amber light and the rattle of a defective overhead fan. The twin beds were covered in thin floral duvets with matching bedside tables and fringed nightshades. The carpet was a faded salmon color and curtains on a metal rod covered a single rectangular window.
“It has a certain charm,” Ivy said with an ironic smile. Although my siblings had grown used to the luxury of Byron, their surroundings were immaterial to them. They could’ve been in a luxury suite at the Waldorf Astoria for all the difference it made.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Ivy said, scooping up a bag of toiletries and disappearing into the bathroom. Molly watched her go, biting her lip and shifting anxiously from foot to foot. Gabriel’s penetrating eyes watched her patiently. They reminded me of a snowstorm — clear and pale and so full of depth that you could easily lose yourself in them. He removed his jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. The tight white T-shirt he wore accentuated his impossibly perfect physique. Molly couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away from his rippling body and the way the fabric strained across his defined chest. He looked superhuman, as if he could shoulder a car with minimal effort. That was probably because he could if the situation called for it.
The sound of water running through the old pipes filtered out from the bathroom and Molly immediately seized it as an opportunity to strike up a discussion.
“So, will Ivy be okay?” she asked awkwardly. It was clear she wasn’t there to talk about Ivy, but a more effective opening eluded her.
“Ivy is a seraphim,” Gabriel replied as if that settled the matter.
“Yeah,” Molly said. “I remember. And that’s pretty cool, right?”
“Yes,” said Gabriel slowly. “It is cool.”
Taking this as encouragement, Molly edged her way into the room and perched on the bed, pretending to examine her fingernails. Gabriel leaned against the doorway opposite her. If he’d been human he would have looked awkward or uncomfortable, but he was composed in every way. No matter what environment he found himself in, my brother always gave off an air of self-possession, as if he’d been there all his life. He stood with his hands folded behind his back and his head tilted slightly to one side as if he were listening to a silent internal melody. His attention seemed far from Molly, although I knew he was waiting for her to speak. He could probably hear her heart thumping in her chest, smell the sweat on the palms of her hands — even read her mind if he wanted to.
Molly raised her eyes nervously. “You were amazing today,” she said. Gabriel looked at her, perplexed by the compliment.
“I was doing my job,” he replied in his low, compelling voice.
I could tell by the expression on Molly’s face that his voice affected her in ways I couldn’t understand. It seemed like each word he spoke entered her body on a physical level. Molly shivered slightly and wrapped her arms around herself.
“Are you cold?” my brother asked. Without waiting for her answer he chivalrously lifted his jacket from the back of the chair and draped it around her shoulders. The thoughtful gesture seemed to move Molly to such an extent that she struggled to keep her eyes from misting up.
“No, really,” she insisted. “I always knew you were amazing, but today was different. You were like something out of this world.”
“That’s because I’m not from this world, Molly,” Gabriel replied evenly.
“But you’re still connected to it, right?” Molly pressed. “To people, I mean. Like Xavier and me?”
“My job is to protect people like you and Xavier. I wish you only health and happiness …”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Molly cut in.
“What are you saying?” He looked at her with the piercing intensity of someone determined to understand a way of reasoning that was not his own.
“It’s just that I think you could want more. These last few days I’ve been sensing that like … maybe … you might have felt …”
I sprang onto the bed and knelt beside Molly. I tried to send out a message of caution, but she was too absorbed in Gabriel’s presence to notice I was there with her.
No, Molly, don’t do it. You’re smarter than this. Think about it. Gabriel isn’t what you want him to be. You’re about to make a huge mistake. You only think you know him. You’ve imagined there’s more to it than there really is. If you’re hurting now, this will only make things worse. Go and talk to Xavier first. Wait a while — you’re tired. Molly, listen to me!
Gabriel turned his head slowly to look at her. The movement was almost robotic. His face was cast in shadow from the dim motel light, but his hair still glowed as it fell gently around his cheekbones like strands of gold and his eyes were a forever-shifting haze of silver and ice blue.
“Maybe I felt what?” he asked curiously.
Molly sighed in exasperation and I knew she’d had enough of dropping hints. She stood up so she was standing directly in front of him. With her mermaid tumble of curls, wide blue eyes, and dewy skin she looked as enticing as ever. Most men would not have had the willpower to resist her.
“You act like you don’t have feelings, but I know you do!” she said confidently. “I think you feel a lot more than you let on. I think you could love someone, even fall in love with someone if you chose to.”
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, Molly. I value human life,” Gabriel said. “I wish to defend and protect My Father’s children. But the love you speak of … I know nothing of that.”
“Stop lying to yourself. I can see through you.”
“And what exactly do you think you see?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow and I realized he had an inkling of where the conversation was headed.
“Someone’s who’s just like me,” Molly cried. “Someone who wants to be in love but is too scared to let it happen. You care about me, Gabriel — admit it!”
“I’ve never denied caring for you,” Gabriel said gently. “Your well-being is important to me.”
“It’s more than that,” Molly insisted. “It has to be! I feel something incredible between us and I know you must feel it too.”
Gabriel leaned forward. “Listen to me carefully,” he said. “You have somehow gotten the wrong idea about me. I’m not here to …”