Before Gabriel could finish, Molly leapt forward and closed the distance between them. I saw her arms reach around his waist and her fingers close over his T-shirt. I saw her stand on the tips of her toes and strain up toward him. I saw her eyes close in a moment of pure ecstasy as their lips met. She kissed him fervently, longingly, intoxicated by him. Her body ached for his touch and she pressed herself against him. She trembled with the intensity of it, her whole body straining to get closer to him. The room became charged with a strange energy, and for a moment I thought something would ignite between them that would blast through the walls of the motel room. Then I saw Gabriel’s face.
While he hadn’t moved away from Molly, he wasn’t returning her kiss. His arms remained rigidly by his sides, his mouth unresponsive, refusing to meld with hers. Molly might have been kissing a waxwork for all the response she drew from him. Gabriel let her continue for a moment before gently disengaging himself from her grasp. She fought him for a second then staggered back and sank down on the bed.
“No, Molly. This can’t happen.”
Gabriel only looked saddened by her display of affection. He wore a thoughtful frown, looking at Molly the same way he looked at all mortal dilemmas he needed to solve. He’d worn the same expression when they’d stopped to talk to Earl at the gas station and again when he’d inspected the grooves on the front porch of the Abbey. His clear eyes were serious as he grappled for a solution to a problem he had not before encountered. A strange look crossed Molly’s face as his indifference finally dawned on her. Her forehead creased as she tried to make sense of the overpowering attraction she felt that seemed to be strictly one-way. I could tell she couldn’t quite believe it and I noted the exact moment when humiliation replaced her passion. Blood rushed to her cheeks and she squirmed under Gabriel’s inquisitive gaze.
“I can’t believe I got it so wrong,” she murmured. “I never do that.”
“I’m sorry, Molly,” Gabriel said. “I apologize if I’ve said or done anything to mislead you.”
“Don’t you feel anything?” she asked more angrily. “You must feel something!”
“I do not possess human sentiment,” Gabriel said and then thought to add, “nor does Ivy.” Maybe he hoped it’d make Molly feel better to know that her advances would be lost on my sister as well. If so, it didn’t have the desired effect.
“Quit acting like you’re a robot or something,” she snapped.
“If that’s how you’d prefer to think of me …” Gabriel trailed off.
“It’s not!” Molly burst out. “I’d prefer to think of you as real, not some tin man who doesn’t have a heart.”
“My heart is nothing but a vital organ pumping blood around this body,” Gabriel explained. “I lack the capacity to give the love you speak of.”
“What about Beth?” Molly asked. “She loves Xavier and she’s one of you.”
“Bethany is an exception,” Gabriel conceded. “A rare exception.”
“Why can’t you be an exception too?” Molly insisted.
“Because I am not like Bethany,” Gabriel said in a matter-of-fact voice. “I am not young and inexperienced. There is something in Bethany’s makeup, a flaw or a strength, that allows her to feel what humans feel. I do not have that in my programming.” I was too caught up in the mounting tension to wonder whether or not I ought to be offended.
“But I’m in love with you,” Molly whimpered.
“If you think you love me, then you don’t know what love is,” Gabriel said. “Love has to be reciprocated for it to be real.”
“I don’t understand,” Molly said. “Am I not hot enough for you or something?”
“Now you’re just proving my point,” Gabriel sighed. “A body is merely a vehicle. The deepest emotions are experienced through the soul.”
“So it’s my soul that isn’t up to your standards then?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“What’s wrong with you?” Molly exploded. “Why don’t you want me?”
“Please try to accept what I’m saying.”
“Are you saying no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, you’ll never feel that way about me?”
“I’m saying you’re behaving like a child because that is what you are.”
“So it’s because you think I’m too young,” Molly said desperately. “I can wait. I can wait until you feel ready. I’ll do whatever you need.”
“Stop,” Gabriel said. “This discussion is over. I cannot give you the answer you want to hear.”
“Tell me why.” Molly’s hysteria was rising. “Tell me what’s wrong with me that you won’t even consider me!”
“You should leave now,” Gabriel’s voice had gone flat. He was no longer trying to console her.
“No!” Molly shouted. “Tell me what I did!”
“It’s not what you did.” Gabriel’s tone became harsher. “It’s what you are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Molly choked out.
“You are human.” My brother’s eyes flashed. “It’s in your nature to be lustful, greedy, envious, deceitful, and proud. All your life you will fight against those instincts. My Father gave you free will, He chose you to rule His earth and look what you have done with it. This world is in ruins and I am here only to restore His glory — I have no other purpose and no other interest. Do you think I am so weak as to be seduced by a doe-eyed human who is barely more than a child? I am different from you in every possible way. I can only try to understand your ways and never, not in a thousand years, will you come close to understanding mine. So that is why, Molly, your efforts here are useless.”
Gabriel watched impassively as tears began to flow, mingling with Molly’s mascara and smudging her cheeks. She wiped them away furiously with the backs of her hands.
“I …” Her hiccups caused her to stutter. “I hate you.”
She looked so vulnerable then I wished I could have done something to show her she wasn’t alone. If I’d been there, I would have also liked to kick my brother in the shins for his lack of sensitivity.
“For your sake,” Gabriel said distantly, “perhaps hate is better than love.”
“It doesn’t matter to you, either way,” Molly sobbed. “I don’t matter.”
“That is not true,” Gabriel said. “If your life is being threatened, that is my concern. If you are in danger, if anyone is ever harming you, you may depend on me to protect you. But in matters of the heart, I cannot help you.”
“You could at least try. You could challenge your so-called programming the way Beth did and see what happens! How can you know what you might feel?”
She was so passionate in her conviction that I almost hoped Gabriel’s heart would melt. But he only lowered his eyes as if he had committed a grievous sin.
“For your information God wants people to be happy,” Molly went on defiantly. I had the sense that she was trying to build a case like she’d seen in school debates. “Go forth and multiply, right? I remember that much from Sunday School.”
“Those directions were given to man,” Gabriel said very quietly.
“So you don’t get to be happy? You can’t want a life?”
“It’s not question of wanting. It’s more a question of design,” Gabriel said, and Molly looked defeated. “You need someone to love you the way you deserve. I promise to watch over you every day of your life.” His voice was tender. “I’ll make sure you’re always safe.”
“No!” Molly was yelling like a spoiled child now. “That’s not what I want.” She shook her head vehemently, causing some of her copper curls to come loose and fall across her pale face. Molly was too caught up in her whirlwind of emotions to notice, but Gabriel’s expression seemed to shift as he watched her. On his face, I read a compulsive desire to reach out to her — this strange, tumultuous creature that he did not understand. His hand twitched and he slowly lifted it, like he might be about to brush away her tears.