I narrowed my eyes. “Go on …”
“I think I’ve come up with the perfect deal,” he stood up and moved closer to me. “The one thing you want most is to protect your polo-wearing pretty boy and keep him alive. The one thing I want most is simple. I want you — though regrettably you have never reciprocated those feelings despite proof of my devotion.”
I swallowed back the urge to snort at his use of the word devotion.
“Okay …,” I said stiffly. I didn’t like where this was heading. I wasn’t exactly sure what he had in mind, but knowing Jake, it couldn’t be anything fair or reasonable.
“I’ll promise not to harm him,” Jake said. “I’ll even promise not to interfere in your little projection adventures. But I want you to give up something in return.”
“I can’t imagine what I’ve got that you would want,” I said in confusion.
“Maybe you’re not thinking hard enough,” Jake smiled humorlessly. “There’s something I want very much indeed. Think of it as a gift, in return for my clemency.”
“Quit beating around the bush and tell me what you’re asking,” I said impatiently, trying to keep my emotions under control.
“I’m asking you to give yourself to me,” Jake said, his dark eyes glinting.
I had an inkling of what he was alluding to, but I didn’t want to accept it. I needed to hear him say it aloud to confirm my suspicions. “You’re going to have to spell it out,” I said defiantly.
“Oh, you’re so adorably naïve,” Jake smirked. “I mean it quite literally. I will never go near your precious Prince Charming again if you agree to surrender yourself to me for just one night. I want you to give me your virtue.”
“Wait … you want me to …” I faltered as the true meaning of his words sank in and I stared at him in disgust. “You want me to have sex with you?”
“That sounds so transactional. I’d prefer it if you used the term making love,” he said.
I stared at him, grappling to find an appropriate response. There were so many things I wanted to say, so many ways of expressing my repugnance for him and my unmitigated refusal to touch him.
“You have serious issues,” was the first thing that made it past my lips.
“There’s no need to be rude,” Jake said pleasantly. “If my ego weren’t the size of the Northern Hemisphere, I might be wounded right now. There are plenty of women falling over themselves for a chance to spend a night with me. Consider yourself privileged.”
“Do you even realize what you’re asking?” I spluttered.
“It’s sex, the satisfaction of a carnal appetite. No biggie,” Jake said.
“It is a big deal!” I yelled. “You’re supposed to have sex with the person you love, the person you trust, the person you hope will one day be the father your children.”
“That’s true,” Jake conceded. “Sex can sometimes have nasty side effects in the form of small children, but I’ll arrange everything so there are no complications. You’ll be in expert hands.”
“Are you even listening to me?” I said. “This is as bad as selling my soul.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jake scoffed. “The purpose of sex is pleasure not procreation. All you have to do is relax and let me do what I do best. Remember, every compromise has a price.”
“The purpose of sex is to create life,” I corrected him. “In sleeping with you I’d be committing to you, making a statement that I trust you, that I want to create life with you. With you …” I repeated for emphasis. “You’re a liar and a cheat and a murderer. I would never give myself to you!”
Jake didn’t even have the good grace to look offended. “We made a deal,” he said tonelessly. “You agreed to do anything I asked. If you refuse now, I’ll make it my personal mission to make sure Xavier doesn’t live to see another sunrise.”
“You stay away from him.”
“Hey.” Jake stabbed a finger in my direction. “Don’t deal with the devil if you can’t handle it.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t believe what he was asking. He’d chosen the one thing I couldn’t deliver. It would be like inviting his darkness to enter my physical body, allowing our two violently opposite souls to merge.
“I suppose Xavier doesn’t mean that much to you after all,” Jake said lazily. “If you’re willing to let something so insignificant threaten his life.”
I stared at him as my mind struggled to come to terms with what I’d just heard. Would it really be the ultimate betrayal or the ultimate sacrifice?
“I just always imagined it would be with him,” I murmured almost to myself.
“I know,” Jake said, his voice drenched with exaggerated sympathy. “And usually I’d be more than open to the prospect of a threesome, but under such circumstances I think it might be a little awkward.”
I didn’t bother trying to come up with a response. I felt sick to my stomach. Jake had the power to kill Xavier — he’d proved that this morning. If I reneged on the deal, there was nothing stopping him from heading straight back to find him. I knew Ivy and Gabriel were on the alert, but all he had to do was find Xavier alone and in a moment of weakness. He wouldn’t care if it took him days or weeks, he’d find a way. I knew what I had to do before my mind fully grasped the concept. Xavier’s words floated back to me then: “Beth, a relationship isn’t only based on the physical … I love you for you, not for what you can offer me.” Did that mean he’d want me to accept Jake’s offer? I didn’t know and I wished I had someone to guide me. All I knew was that the prospect of sleeping with Jake, horrible as it was, was easier to imagine than the prospect of losing Xavier. The truth was I’d do whatever was required of me to keep him safe.
“All right,” I agreed, my eyes brimming with tears. “You win. I’m yours.”
“Good,” said Jake. “You’ve made the right decision. I’ll send Hanna up to help you get ready. I want to make good on this deal tonight … just in case you should change your mind.”
WHEN Hanna came up to see me her face was ashen and she was clutching a garment bag under one arm.
“Oh, Beth,” she said softly. It was the first time she’d called me by my name and it struck me by surprise. “I wish it hadn’t come to this.”
“How’d you find out?” I asked in a dull voice.
“Word spreads quickly around here. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Hanna,” I said, swallowing hard. “It’s no more than I expected from Jake.”
“I hope that after all this … someday … you’re reunited with Xavier,” she said. “He must really be something.”
“He is.”
Thinking of Xavier was the only way I could get through this ordeal without breaking down. If Xavier lost his life because of me, it would be worse than an eternity in Hell.
“Come on,” Hanna said, patting me gently on the back. “Jake is expecting you in an hour.” She unzipped the garment bag and withdrew what looked like a long bridal gown.
“Do I really have to dress up?” I asked dejectedly. I didn’t want any fuss. This was going to be horrible enough without the accompanying theatrics.
“The prince has picked out a dress specially,” Hanna said. “You know what he’s like, he’ll be offended if you don’t wear it.”
“Do you think I’m doing the right thing, Hanna?” I asked suddenly, compulsively smoothing the threads on my duvet. My mind was already made up, but I wanted reassurance from someone so I didn’t feel quite so alone.
“What does it matter what I think?” Hanna busied herself, picking invisible lint off the dress as she tried to avoid the question. I knew she hated to think her opinion counted for anything, for fear it might get her into trouble.