Emma opened the box and looked at her boots. “We’re here. Let’s just do this.”
“You make it sound like we’re on a mission.”
“Aren’t we?”
“Get your shoes on.” Benjamin stepped out and tightened his own laces while he waited.
Emma slammed the truck door and marched up the trail without him. He followed, caught up to her, and grabbed her arm.
“Hold on a sec,” he said. “I didn’t come up here to fight. I didn’t bring us up here for a forced march. If you’re that miserable, we can head down the mountain right now.” He looked up the trail. “I don’t know what you and your mother talked about. Just know that I’ll do whatever will make you happy. And safe, of course.”
“What if I want to move to Seattle and live with my mother?”
“Is that what she’s offering?”
“What if it’s what I want?”
“Of course I like having you with me. I want you with me, but I want you to be happy. Maybe you need your mother now. Or maybe you just need a break from me. I don’t know.” A deer bolted across the trail about thirty yards up. “I would understand that. Is that what she’s said, that you can come live with her?”
“Let’s hike,” Emma said.
They covered the first easy mile in good time, Emma leading the way. Benjamin stopped at a mound of scat that the girl had walked past. She turned and came back to him.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Not coyote,” he said. “Cougar, maybe. Pretty fresh.”
Emma looked up the trail through the aspens. “What do you think?”
“We’ve always had cats up here,” Benjamin said. “We can just head home if you want.”
“No, let’s go on.”
Benjamin looked at the mound of scat. The ground was bone-dry and was no good for a sign. He tried to make out what might have been a track. “I wish Doc Innis was with us. Cats are nocturnal. This scat is steaming.” He looked around.
“So?”
“Maybe I don’t want to go on.”
“Jesus, Dad.”
“Are you wearing any perfume?” he asked.
“What?”
“Perfume — are you wearing any?”
“No.”
“Are you having your period right now?”
“Dad!”
“Someone once told me that cats could be attracted to a menstruating woman.” He had also heard that that was a myth. Still. “Are you?”
“No. Why are you so nervous? You’re the one who always told me that the woods are safer than a mall.”
“I don’t know. You’re right. I guess I’m just overprotective of my little girl.”
“Give me a break.” Emma started again up the trail.
Benjamin followed.
They hiked another couple of miles. The trail became steep and Emma complained about her boots.
“I’m getting a blister on my heel, I think,” she said.
“Well, let’s stop. I’ve got some moleskin.” Benjamin dug into his knapsack. “We should eat our sandwiches anyway. You hungry?”
“A little.”
“Get that boot off. The other feel okay?”
“I think so.”
They heard a loud hiss. Both jumped.
“What was that?” Emma asked.
“I don’t know,” Benjamin said. They sat quietly for a few seconds. “Here, eat up. I’ll get your foot squared away and we’ll just head back to the car.”
“What was that sound, Dad?”
“Bear, maybe. Don’t worry, he’s not interested in us.” He put the moleskin on Emma’s heel. He put her sock back on and her boot, laced it up. He patted her foot. “Just like old times,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“Nice view,” he said.
They finished their sandwiches.
“Dad?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“I’m sorry I stayed out so late.”
“Okay. I’m over that.”
“About Mom.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re great,” she said.
“Okay.”
“But I’m a girl.”
Benjamin smiled at her. “I’m aware of this.”
“What if I want to live with Mom for a while?”
He looked off the edge of the trail at the valley below. “I’d like to say I’d be understanding, but I can’t. Your mother left us. She left you and I don’t trust her now to be responsible with you.”
“She’s changed.”
“Right.” Benjamin felt small. He felt sick. This wasn’t the father he wanted to be, but he could find nothing else. “We’ll talk about it later.”
“Right.”
“You’re my responsibility. I have custody of you. If she wants to all of a sudden play mommy to you, then let her prove herself to the court.”
“I can go if I want.”
“No, you can’t. It’s that simple.”
Emma stepped away quickly down the slope. Benjamin moved to follow, but he landed on a round rock. What started as a skid escalated into a knee-buckling cartwheel off the side of the trail. Emma was scrambling down behind him even before he stopped rolling.
“Dad, are you all right?”
He tried to sit up, but fell back onto the slope. He knew he’d done something terrible to his right leg. His ankle was sprained, dislocated, or maybe even broken. He had to slow himself down to assess the damage. His heart was racing. His first concern was for his panicking daughter. “I’m okay,” he said. “Really. I think I twisted my ankle.”
“Daddy,” Emma said.
He could hear in her voice that she was seeing something he had not seen yet. He looked down to see that his foot was cast off to the side at a strange angle, almost ninety degrees to his leg.
“Fuck,” Benjamin said, not so much out of pain as out of anger. “Sorry.”
“Does it hurt?” she asked.
“I think it’s about to start hurting,” he said, realizing that adrenaline was ruling the moment. “Let’s get me up on the trail before it does.”
Benjamin pushed and Emma pulled and they clumsily managed to get him up the hill. His ankle was erupting in pain now. He screamed.
“Is it broken?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
Her hands hovered over his boot.
“No, leave the boot on. I think that’s the thing to do.” He reached down and felt it. It was painful to touch. “It’s dislocated, that’s certain.”
“What do we do?”
He hated hearing his child so frightened. “First thing is to relax,” he said. “I’m not going to die.” All he could think was that they were at least four miles from the car. “Let’s see if I can stand.”
“Are you kidding?”
“Help me up.”
She did. He tried to put a little weight on his left foot, but it wasn’t there at all. His foot flopped like a fish.
“You’re going to have to drive down the mountain to get help,” he said.
“What?”
“I can’t walk four miles and you can’t carry me.”
It was then that they saw the cat on the other side of the arroyo.
“Dad, is that a cougar?”
Benjamin didn’t answer.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, baby, it’s a cougar. Don’t panic.”
“I’m not panicking.”
Benjamin watched the animal disappear into the brush. The cougar looked to weigh about a hundred pounds, but still looked thin. He saw this as a bad sign. If the cat was hungry there was no telling what it might do. He couldn’t let his daughter head down that trail. She was so terrified, she might break into a run at any second and so trigger the cougar’s chase instinct.
“When can I panic?” she asked.
“Find me two sturdy sticks about two feet long,” he said. “Let’s make your old man some splints. Let’s get me mobile.”
“How big?”
“Strong sticks. An inch in diameter. Straight as possible.”