I hesitated before I did. For a moment, the hardness in his expression softened. When he looked at me like that, I truly believed he understood my reaction. Maybe he didn’t agree with it, but at least he understood why I’d done it.
“You know there was nothing you could do about what happened to your mother.” His eyes searched my face.
“You do know that, right?”
“I should’ve done something. I had al that time and I should’ve cal ed someone. Maybe then… ” I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath. “Maybe then none of this would’ve happened.”
“Alex, you couldn’t have known it would end this way.”
“But I did.” I closed my eyes, feeling a twisting in my stomach. “We al do. It’s what happens when you leave the safety of the community. I knew it would happen, but I was just scared they wouldn’t let her back in after leaving. I couldn’t… leave her out there by herself.”
Aiden was silent for so long, I thought he’d left the room, but then I felt his hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes, turning my head so I looked down at his hand. His fingers were long and graceful-looking. Deadly, I imagined. But now, they were gentle. Like I had no wil of my own, I looked into his silver eyes. I couldn’t help but be reminded of what’d passed between us at the factory.
Abruptly, Aiden let go. Running a hand through his hair, he looked unsure of what he was doing. “Look. Get some rest. Eight in the morning wil come quick.” He turned to leave, but stopped. “And don’t leave this room again tonight. I don’t want to find out in the morning you burnt down a vil age while I slept.”
There were several retorts I had lined up, al of them clever and snarky, but I squelched them and pul ed myself off the bed. Aiden stopped at my door and glanced down the empty hal way.
“Alex, what happened to your mother is not your fault.
Placing that kind of guilt on yourself wil only hinder you. It wil get you nowhere. Do you understand?”
“Yeah,” I lied.
Even though I wanted to believe what Aiden said was true, I knew it wasn’t. If I’d contacted the Covenant, Mom would stil be alive. So yeah, in a way, Lea was right.
I was responsible for my mother’s death.
CHAPTER 5
THE FOLLOWING DAY WAS LIKE GOING BACK IN
TIME for me—up way too early to think straight and wearing clothes made to get my butt kicked in. This time around though, there were a few things different.
Looking at Aiden, for example, it was clear he wasn’t going to be like the Instructors I’d had before. They’d been Sentinels or Guards injured on the job, or the ones who’d wanted to settle down. Back then, I’d always ended up with Instructors who were either old as dirt or flat out boring.
Aiden was neither of those things.
He wore the same style of workout pants I’d stolen from the supply closet, but where I wore a modest white shirt, he had on a tank. And boy, did he have arms to show off. His skin didn’t sag; he was far from boring, and he was actual y out there hunting daimons.
But he did have one thing in common with my old Instructors. The moment I walked into the gym, he was al business. From the way he coached me through several warm-up exercises and ordered me to unrol al the mats, I knew I was going to be hurting by the end of the day.
“How much do you remember from your previous training?”
I looked around, seeing things I hadn’t laid eyes on in three years—training mats to ease fal s, dummies with skin that felt real, and a first aid kit in every corner. People usual y bled at some point in training. But the furthest wal interested me the most. It was covered with wicked-looking knives I’d never gotten to practice with.
“The normal things: textbook stuff, offensive training, kicking and punching techniques.” I made a beeline for the weapon wal ; it was like compulsion.
“Not much then.”
Picking up one of the slender titanium daggers the Sentinels usual y carried, I nodded. “The good stuff started just—”
Aiden reached around me, plucking the dagger from my fingers and placing it back on the wal . His fingers lingered over the blade reverently. “You haven’t earned the right to touch these weapons, especial y that one.”
At first, I thought he was teasing, but one look at his face told me he wasn’t. “Why?”
He didn’t answer.
I kind of wanted to touch it again, but I pul ed my hand back and walked away from the wal . “I was good at everything I learned. I could hit and kick hard. I could run faster than anyone in my class.”
He returned to the center of the room and placed his hands on his narrow hips. “Not much then,” he repeated.
My eyes fol owed him. “You could say that.”
“You should get used to this room. We’l be spending eight hours a day in here.”
“You’re joking, right?”
He didn’t look like he was joking. “Down the hal is a gym.
You should visit it… often.”
My mouth dropped open.
Aiden gave me a bland look. “You’re far too skinny. You need to put some weight on and some muscle.” He reached out and tapped my scrawny arm. “Speed and strength, you have natural y. But right now, a ten-year-old could take you on.”
I closed my mouth. He had a point. This morning, I’d had to tie the knot twice in my drawstrings to get them to stay up. “Wel , it wasn’t like I had three square meals a day.
Speaking of which, I’m kinda hungry. Don’t I get breakfast?”
The hard look in his eyes softened a little, and for a moment he looked like he had when he’d been in my room the night before. “I brought you a protein shake.”
“Ew,” I groaned, but when he picked up the plastic container and handed it to me, I took it.
“Drink up. We’re going to cover some ground rules first.”
Aiden stepped back. “Go ahead and sit. I want you to listen.”
And there went the softer and kinder look. Rol ing my eyes, I sat down and gingerly placed the bottle to my lips. It smel ed like stale chocolate and tasted like a watered down milkshake. Gross.
He stood in front of me with those impossibly ripped arms across his chest. “First off: no drinking or smoking.”
“Gee. That means I’ve got to kick the crack habit.”
He stared down at me, clearly unimpressed. “You wil not be able to leave the Covenant without permission or—don’t look at me that way.”
“Jeez, how old are you?” I total y knew how old he was, but I wanted to pick.
Aiden cracked his neck. “I turn twenty-one in October.”
“Huh.” I shook the bottle. “So have you always been so…
mature?”
His brows furrowed. “Mature?”
“Yeah, you sound like a dad.” I deepened my voice and tried to look stern. “‘Don’t look at me that way’ or else.”
Aiden blinked slowly. “I don’t sound like that and I didn’t say ‘or else.’”
“But if you had, what would the ‘or else’ be?” I hid my grin with the bottle.
He glanced to the side, frowning. “Can you just not talk through this?”
“Whatever.” I took a drink. “So why can’t I leave the island?”
“It’s for your safety and my peace of mind.” Aiden returned to his original stance, arms over chest, legs spread wide. “You wil not leave this island without being accompanied by someone.”
“Do my friends count?” I asked, only half serious.
“No.”
“Then who’s al owed to accompany me?”
Aiden’s eyes closed and he sighed. “Either me or one of the other Instructors.”
I swished the liquid around in the bottle. “I know the rules, Aiden. You don’t have to go over them again.”