“You forgot the most important thing — find dress,” said Hayley.
The others laughed at the omission.
It baffled me that they could discuss in such detail an event that was so far away, but I refrained from commenting. I doubted my input would be appreciated.
“It’s going to cost so much.” Taylah sighed. “I’m going to end up blowing my budget and spending every dollar I’ve made working at that crappy bakery.”
“I’m cashed up,” Molly said proudly. “I’ve been saving from working at the drugstore since last year.”
“My parents are paying for everything,” bragged Megan. “They’ve agreed to pay for the whole thing as long as I pass all my exams — even a party bus if we want one.”
The girls were clearly impressed.
“Whatever you do, don’t screw up any exams,” Molly said.
“Hey, she’s not a miracle worker.” Hayley laughed.
“Does anyone have a date yet?” someone else asked.
A few of the girls did, and those in steady relationships didn’t have to worry about it. Everybody else was still desperately waiting for someone to ask them.
“I wonder if Gabriel will go,” Molly mused, turning to me. “All the teachers get invited.”
“I’m not sure,” I said. “He tends to steer clear of those sorts of things.”
“You should ask Ryan,” Hayley suggested to Molly, “before he’s taken.”
“Yeah, the good ones always go first,” Taylah agreed.
Molly looked affronted. “It’s the formal, Haylz,” she said. “The guy has to do the asking.”
Taylah snorted. “Good luck with that.”
“Molly, you’re so stupid sometimes,” Hayley sighed. “Ryan’s six-two, built, blond, and plays lacrosse. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but still, what are you waiting for?”
“I want him to ask me,” Molly pouted.
“Maybe he’s shy,” Megan suggested.
“Uh, have you seen him?” Taylah rolled her eyes. “I doubt he has self-esteem issues.”
A debate about floor-length gowns versus cocktail dresses followed. The conversation became so banal that I needed an escape. I mumbled something about going to the library to check if a book had come in.
“Ewww, Bethie, only losers hang out in the library,” Taylah said. “Someone might see you.”
“And we already have to spend fifth period there to finish that stupid research assignment,” Megan moaned.
“What was that about again?” Hayley asked. “Something to do with politics in the Middle East?”
“Where is the Middle East?” asked a girl named Zoe, who always wore her blond hair piled on top of her head like a crown.
“It’s a whole area near the Persian Gulf,” I said. “It spans southwest Asia.”
“I don’t think so, Bethie.” Taylah laughed. “Everybody knows the Middle East is in Africa.”
I wished I could seek out Ivy’s company, but she was busy working in town. She had joined the church group and was already recruiting members. She had made badges promoting fair trade and printed pamphlets that preached about the injustice of working conditions in the Third World. Given her goddess status within Venus Cove, the numbers at the church group were growing. The young males in the town had taken to seeking her out and buying far more badges than anyone could use in the hope of being rewarded with her phone number or even just an appreciative pat on the head. Ivy had made it her mission to play Mother Earth at Venus Cove — she wanted to bring people back to nature. I guess you could call it an environmentalist mentality — organic food, community spirit, and the power of the natural world over material things.
So I headed in the direction of the music wing instead, in search of Gabriel.
The music wing was in the oldest part of the school. I heard singing coming from the main hall, so I pushed open its heavy paneled doors. The hall was vast with a high ceiling and portraits of grim-faced headmasters lining the walls. Gabriel stood in front of a music stand, conducting the junior choristers. All the choirs had grown in popularity since Gabriel’s arrival; in fact, there were so many new female recruits to the senior choir that they had to rehearse in the auditorium.
Gabriel was teaching the juniors one of his favorite hymns in a four-part harmony, accompanied by the music captain, Lucy McCrae, on the piano. My entrance interrupted the singing. Gabriel turned to determine the source of the distraction, and when he did, the light from the stained-glass window merged with his golden hair so that for a moment he looked ablaze.
I waved to him and listened as the choir resumed their singing.
Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.
Even with some of the singers out of tune and the accompanist a little loud, the purity of the voices was transporting. I stayed until the bell signaled the end of lunch. By then I felt I’d been given a well-timed reminder of the bigger picture.
The next few days blurred into one another, and before I knew it, it was Friday and the end of another week. The rowers had reportedly gotten back after lunch, but I hadn’t seen any sign of them and decided they must have gone straight home. I wondered whether Xavier had concluded that I’d lost interest as he hadn’t heard from me. Or was he still awaiting my call? It bothered me that he might wait for a call that wasn’t coming. Now I wouldn’t even get the chance to see him and explain.
Packing my schoolbag at the end of the day, I noticed that someone had wedged a little scroll of paper into one of the metal louvers at the top of my locker. It fell to the ground when I opened the door. I picked it up and read the message, written in a loping, boyish hand.
I read it several times. Even via a piece of paper, Xavier managed to have the same dizzying effect on me. I handled the note as delicately as if it were an ancient relic. He wasn’t easily deterred; I liked that about him. So this, I thought, is what it feels like to be pursued. I wanted to leap around in excitement, but I managed to remain calm. Nevertheless, I was still grinning when I met up with Gabriel and Ivy. I couldn’t seem to force my face into a mask of serenity.
“You looked pleased with yourself,” Ivy said when she saw me.
“Good result on a French test,” I lied.
“Did you expect anything else?”
“No, but it’s still nice to see it in black and white.”
I was surprised to find how easily I could lie. I must be getting better at it and that wasn’t a good thing.
Gabriel looked pleased to see my previous mood had lifted. I knew he’d been feeling guilty. He hated to witness distress, much less be the cause of it. I didn’t really blame him for his sternness. It was hardly his fault he couldn’t relate to what I was experiencing. His focus was overseeing our mission, and I couldn’t imagine the strain that must accompany that task. Ivy and I depended on him, and the powers in the Kingdom were relying on his wisdom. It was only natural that he should try to avoid complications, and that’s exactly what he feared contact with Xavier might bring.
The elation of receiving Xavier’s message lasted through the rest of the afternoon and the evening. But by Saturday I was again wrestling with my conscience over what to do about it. I desperately wanted to see Xavier, but I knew it was reckless and selfish. Gabriel and Ivy were my family and they trusted me. I couldn’t willingly do anything that might compromise their position.
Saturday morning was relatively uneventful and made up of chores and taking Phantom for a run along the beach. When I got home and looked at the clock, I saw that it was already mid-afternoon and I started to feel edgy. I managed to hide my agitation through dinner, and afterward Ivy sang to us with her melodic voice, accompanied by Gabriel on an old acoustic guitar. Ivy’s voice could have reduced a hardened criminal to tears. As for Gabriel, every note he played was smooth and hummed like a living thing.