So I took a deep breath and began the speech that would change both our lives forever.
“I want you to know that if you still want me after tonight, then there’s nothing that would make me happier.” Xavier smiled and started to reach for me but I stopped him. “Let me get this over with first. I’m going to try and explain in the best way I can.”
He nodded, crossed his arms, and gave me his undivided attention. For a split second I saw him as a schoolboy at the front of the class, eager to please and awaiting the teacher’s instructions.
“I know this might sound crazy,” I said, “but I want you to watch me walk.”
I saw a flicker of confusion cross his face, but he didn’t question me.
“Okay.”
“But don’t look at me, look at the sand.”
Without taking my eyes from his face, I moved in a slow, deliberate circle around him. “What did you notice?” I asked.
“You don’t leave footprints,” Xavier replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Cool party trick, but you probably need to eat more.”
So far so good — he wasn’t easily fazed. I smiled grimly and sat down beside him, turning my foot around so he could see the sole. The soft, peach-colored skin was unbroken.
“I cut my foot before. ..”
“But there’s no cut,” Xavier said, his forehead creasing into a frown. “How did that…”
Before he could finish I took his hand and placed it on my stomach.
“Notice the difference?” I said with a hint of bluntness in my voice.
His fingers gently traced their way across my abdomen. His hand stopped when he reached dead center, and he pressed down lightly, his thumb searching for the indentation of my navel.
“You won’t find it,” I said before he could speak. “It’s not there.”
“What happened to you?” Xavier asked. He must have imagined that I’d been in some kind of accident from which I’d never fully recovered.
“Nothing happened to me, this is who I am.”
I could almost see him trying to put the pieces together in his mind.
“Who are you?” It was barely a whisper.
“I’m about to show you. Would you mind closing your eyes? And don’t open them till I tell you.”
When I was sure his eyes were shut tight, I sprinted, three at a time, up the steep steps in the cliff face. I tiptoed my way along until I stood precariously close to the edge, with Xavier directly below me. The ground was lumpy and uneven but I kept my balance. It was roughly about a thirty-foot drop, but the height didn’t deter me. I just hoped I would be able to go through with my plan. I could feel my heart thumping, almost turning somersaults in my chest. I could hear two voices shouting over each other in my head. What are you doing? one cried. Have you lost your mind? Get down, go home! It’s not too late to do the right thing! The other voice had different ideas. You’ve gone this far, it said. You can’t back out now. You know how much you want him — you’ll never be with him if you don’t do this. Fine, be a coward and walk away, let him move on and forget all about you. I hope you enjoy eternal solitude.
I clapped a hand over my mouth to stop myself from crying out in frustration. There was no point dwelling on it any longer. I had made my decision.
“You can open your eyes,” I called down to Xavier.
When he did, he looked around in surprise to find me gone before turning his gaze upward. I waved when he spotted me.
“What are you doing up there?” I heard a splinter of panic in his voice. “Beth, that’s not funny. Come down right now before you hurt yourself.”
“Don’t worry, I’m coming down,” I said. “My way.”
I took a step forward so that I was teetering on the cliff’s edge and shifted my weight to balance on the balls of my feet. The uneven rock scraped my skin but I hardly noticed. I felt like I was already flying, and more than anything I wanted to feel the rush of wind in my hair again.
“Cut that out, Beth! Don’t move, I’m coming up to get you!” I heard Xavier yell, but I wasn’t listening to him anymore. As the wind whipped my clothes, I spread my arms and let myself fall from the cliff. If I had been human, my stomach might have shot up into my throat, but the drop only made my heart soar and my body buzz with exhilaration. I plummeted toward the ground, relishing the sharp sting of the air against my cheeks. Xavier cried out and ran to catch me, but his efforts were futile. This was one time when I didn’t need rescuing. Midway to the ground, I dropped my arms and allowed the transformation to take place. A blinding light shot from inside my body, shining from every pore and making my skin glow like white hot metal. I saw Xavier shield his eyes and draw back. I felt my wings burst from behind my shoulder blades. They exploded through the confines of my dress, tearing the light fabric to ribbons. Fully expanded, they cast a long shadow across the sand as though I were some sort of majestic bird.
Xavier had dropped to a crouch, and I knew that the pulsing light was blinding him. I felt exposed and naked hovering there, my wings beating the air to hold me up but also strangely elated. I felt the tendons in my wings stretch, eager for more exercise. They spent so much time cramped beneath my clothes these days. I resisted the urge to fly higher and dive through the clouds. I allowed myself to hover a moment before I swooped to the ground where I landed gently on the sand. The blazing incandescence that surrounded me dimmed once my feet reconnected with solid earth.
Xavier rubbed his eyes and blinked, trying to regain his vision. Finally he saw me. He took a step back, face stunned, hands hanging limply by his sides as if they should be doing something but he couldn’t think what. I stood before him, light still clinging to my skin. The remnants of my dress hung like tentacles and from my back arched a pair of towering wings, feather-light but suggesting enormous power. My hair streamed behind me, and I knew that the ring of light around my head would be brighter than ever.
“Holy crap!” Xavier blurted.
“Would you mind not blaspheming?” I asked politely. He stared at me, grappling for the right words. “I know.” I sighed. “Bet you didn’t see this one coming.” I waved a hand in the direction of the beach. “Feel free to leave now if you want.”
Xavier stood motionless for a moment, staring at me wide-eyed. Then he circled me slowly, and I felt him brush his fingers ever so gently against my wings. Although they looked heavy, they were as thin as parchment and weighed next to nothing. I could see from his face that he was marveling at the fragile white feathers and tiny membranes that were visible beneath the diaphanous skin.
“Whoa,” he said, lost for words. “That’s so…”
“Freaky?”
“Incredible,” he said. “But what are you? You can’t be…”
“An angel?” I said. “Jackpot.”
Xavier rubbed the bridge of his nose as though trying to make sense of everything in his head. “This can’t be real,” he said eventually. “I don’t get it.”
“Of course you don’t,” I said. “My world and yours are legions apart.”
“Your world?” he asked incredulously. “This is insane.”
“What is?”
“This stuff is all fantasy. It just doesn’t happen in real life!”
“This is real,” I said. “I’m real.”
“I know,” he replied. “The scariest part is that I believe you. Sorry I just need a minute. ..”
He sank down on the sand, his face contorted like someone trying to solve an impossible riddle. I tried to imagine what was going on in his head. It must be chaotic. He must have so many questions.