With the talk concluded, Xavier spontaneously swept me up into his arms.
“Urgh, would you two just get a room already?” Taylah called out. “C’est très disgusting.”
“Yes, that will do,” said Mr. Collins, swatting us apart.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Xavier said with a smile. “We were just trying to make our presentation as authentic as possible.”
Mr. Collins glared at us but the class laughed.
News of our performance in French filtered through the grapevine, and Molly bailed me up about it at the first opportunity.
“So you and Xavier are really into each other?” she said enviously.
“Yes.” I tried to keep from beaming, as I usually did when I thought of him.
“I still can’t believe you’re with Xavier Woods,” Molly said, shaking her head. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think you’re really gorgeous and all, but girls have been chasing after him for ages, and he hasn’t batted an eyelid. People thought he’d never get over Emily, and then you come along and…”
“I can’t believe it either sometimes,” I said modestly.
“You’ve got to admit it’s pretty romantic, the way he looks after you, like some sort of knight in shining armor.” Molly sighed. “I wish a guy would treat me like that.”
“You’ve got heaps of guys that are madly in love with you,” I said. “They follow you around like puppy dogs.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the same as with you and Xavier,” Molly replied. “You two really seem connected. Other guys only want one thing.” She paused. “Well, I’m sure you and Xavier get up to some good stuff, but it seems like there’s more to it.”
“What sort of stuff?” I asked curiously.
“You know, like, in the bedroom.” Molly giggled. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about telling me, I’ve pretty much done it all — well, almost.”
“I’m not embarrassed,” I said. “We just haven’t really been up to anything.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “You mean you and Xavier haven’t—?”
“Shh!” I flapped my hands at her when I saw the kids at the next table turn and stare. “No, of course not!”
“Sorry,” she said. “You just surprised me. I mean, well, I just thought you would have. But you’ve done other stuff, yeah?”
“Sure. We go for walks, hold hands, share lunch…”
“My God, Beth, how old are you?” Molly groaned. “Do I have to spell everything out for you?” She narrowed her eyes. “Wait, have you even seen it?”
“Seen what?” I exploded.
“You know,” she said emphatically. “It!” She gestured in the vicinity of her groin until I finally understood her meaning.
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “I’d never do anything like that.”
“Well, hasn’t he hinted that he wants more?”
“No,” I said indignantly. “Xavier doesn’t care about stuff like that.”
“That’s what they all say at first,” Molly said cynically. “Just give it some time. Great as Xavier is, all guys want the same thing.”
“Do they really?”
“Of course, hon.” Molly patted my arm. “I just think you should be prepared.”
I fell silent. If there was one subject I trusted Molly’s opinion on it was boys. They were her area of expertise, and she’d had enough experience to know what she was talking about. I felt suddenly very uneasy. I’d assumed Xavier wasn’t bothered by my inability to fulfill all aspects of our relationship. After all, he’d never brought it up, never hinted that it numbered among his expectations. But was there a chance he was keeping his true desires from me? Just because he never mentioned it, didn’t mean it wasn’t playing on his mind. He loved me because I was different, but human beings still had certain needs — some of which couldn’t be ignored indefinitely.
“Oh my God, have you seen the new guy?”
Molly broke my train of thought, and I looked up to see Jake Thorn strolling past us. He didn’t acknowledge me but instead crossed the cafeteria to sit at a table of about fifteen seniors who gazed at him with a strange combination of adoration and respect.
“He hasn’t wasted any time recruiting friends,” I commented to Molly.
“Are you surprised? That guy is seriously hot.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yeah, in a dark, brooding kind of way. He could be a model with a face like that.”
Jake’s circle of supporters all had a similar air about them. They had dark shadows under their eyes. They tended to keep their heads down and didn’t make eye contact with anyone outside their group. I watched the way Jake looked at them, with a self-satisfied smile on his face, like a cat with a saucer of cream.
“He’s in my lit class,” I said casually.
“Oh my God, you are so lucky!” Molly moaned. “So what’s he like? He looks like a rebel to me.”
“He’s actually pretty intelligent.”
“Damn.” Molly pouted. “Those guys never go for me. I only get the dumb jocks. But hey, there’s no harm in trying.”
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” I said.
“That’s easy for you to say when you’ve got Xavier Woods,” Molly replied.
We were distracted by a piercing scream coming from the kitchens, followed by the sound of panicked voices and running feet. The students exchanged nervous glances and a few got up hesitantly to investigate. One of them, Simon Laurence, froze in the doorway of the kitchen and his hand flew to his mouth. He backed away, his face was turning ashen, and he looked like he was about to retch.
“Hey, what happened?” Molly grabbed Simon as he came past us.
“Uh, one of the cooks,” he said. “Deep fryer tipped over… burned her legs pretty bad. They’re calling for an ambulance.” He staggered off, looking shaken.
I stared down at my plate and tried to focus on sending healing energy in the direction of the kitchen, or at least something that might numb the pain. It was more effective if I could see the person who was hurt or touch them, but I knew that to go into the kitchen would look suspicious, and I’d probably get thrown out for interfering before I could get near the cook. So I stayed where I was and did my best. But there was something wrong: I couldn’t channel properly. Every time I tried, something blocked me, and I felt my energy rebound before it reached the kitchen. It felt like another force was intercepting mine, as impenetrable as concrete, pushing the healing energy back. Maybe I was just tired. I pushed harder but only met with stronger resistance.
“Um, Beth… what are you doing? You look constipated,” Molly said, snapping me out of my trance.
I shook my head to clear it and gave her a forced smile. “It’s just warm in here.”
“Yeah, let’s go. There’s not much we can do anyway,” she said, pushing back her chair and standing up.
I followed her wordlessly out of the cafeteria.
As we passed the table where Jake Thorn and his new friends were seated, Jake looked up at me. Our eyes met, and for a split second I felt I was drowning in their depth.
22
The “S” Word
On the weekend, Molly visited Byron for the first time. She’d been making veiled remarks about coming over for a while, and finally I relented and invited her. It didn’t take her long to make herself at home. She flopped down on the deep sofa and kicked up her feet.
“This is a great place,” she said. “You could host a sick party here.”
“I don’t think that’s likely to happen anytime soon,” I said.
Ignoring my lack of enthusiasm, Molly leapt to her feet to examine a piece of artwork hanging above the fireplace. It was an abstract piece depicting an expanse of white with a circular symbol drawn in the center. Concentric blue circles widened around it, growing fainter as they moved closer to the edge of the canvas.