I didn’t hear from Xavier all weekend. I assumed he hadn’t heard about the incident at the prom, and I didn’t want to stress him. I was so preoccupied worrying about Jake that I didn’t even stop to wonder why Xavier hadn’t called. We rarely went more than a few hours without talking.
On the other hand, I didn’t have to wait long to hear from Jake Thorn. Monday morning at school when I opened my locker, a slip of paper fell out and drifted slowly to the ground, like a crinkled petal. I picked it up, expecting it to be a note from Xavier that would either make me sigh adoringly or giggle like a schoolgirl. But the handwriting didn’t belong to Xavier; it was the same skillfully sharp calligraphy that I knew from my literature class. When I read what was written on the paper, I felt my blood freeze:
I showed the note to Gabriel, who read it and then crumpled it in frustration without speaking a word. I tried not to think about Jake for the rest of the day, but it wasn’t an easy task. Xavier wasn’t at school, and I desperately wanted to speak to him. It felt like an eternity since Friday, so much had happened.
The day passed in a gray haze. I came alive for about five minutes during lunchtime when I borrowed Molly’s cell phone to call Xavier, but I descended back into grayness as soon as it went to voice mail. Not having any contact with him made me feel lethargic and heavy. A cloud seemed to have filled my mind, and I couldn’t catch any of the thoughts that skidded through my head because they disappeared too quickly.
At the end of the day, I went home with my brother and still hadn’t heard anything from Xavier. I tried calling him again from home, but the sound of the voice mail only made me want to cry. I sat and waited all afternoon and all through dinner for him to call or for the doorbell to ring, but there was nothing. Didn’t he want to know how the prom had gone? Had something happened to him? What was the reason behind his sudden silence? I didn’t understand.
“I can’t get through to Xavier,” I managed to choke out over dinner. “He wasn’t at school, and he won’t answer my calls.”
Ivy and Gabriel looked at each other.
“There’s no need to panic, Bethany,” said Ivy kindly. “There are plenty of reasons why he might not be answering his phone.”
“What if he’s unwell?”
“We would have sensed it,” Gabriel reassured me.
I nodded and tried to swallow my dinner, but the food stuck like glue in my throat. I didn’t want to speak to Ivy or Gabriel anymore; I just dragged myself up to bed feeling like the walls were closing in on me.
When I realized Xavier was absent from school the following day, my eyes burned and I felt hot and dizzy. I wanted to crumple to the ground and just wait for someone to carry me away. I couldn’t make it through another day without him; I could hardly make it through another minute. Where was he? What was he trying to do to me?
Molly saw me sagging against my locker. She walked up and put a hand gingerly on my shoulder.
“Bethie, are you okay, hon?”
“I need to speak to Xavier,” I said. “But I can’t get in touch with him.”
Molly bit her lip. “I think there’s something you need to see,” she said softly.
“What?” I asked, panic edging into my voice. “Is Xavier okay?”
“He’s fine,” Molly said. “Just come with me.”
She led me up to the third floor of the school and into one of the computer labs. It was a dull room with gray flecked carpet, no windows, and rows of computers, their blank screens staring at us. Molly flicked one on and pulled up a couple of chairs. She tapped her acrylic nails against the desk, humming in irritation. When the computer had finished loading, she clicked on an icon and rapidly typed something into the toolbar.
“What are you doing?” I asked and she turned to face me.
“You know how I told you about Facebook and how awesome it is?” she said.
I nodded blankly.
“Well, there are some parts that aren’t so awesome.”
“Like what?”
“Well… it’s not very private, for one thing.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
I knew she was getting at something, but I couldn’t figure out what, and judging from the look on her face, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. She was staring at me with a mixture of concern and dread. I knew Molly had a tendency to overreact so I tried not to panic. Her idea of disaster and mine were completely different.
Molly took a deep breath. “Okay… let me show you.”
She tapped a key, and her Facebook page appeared on the screen. She read aloud the slogan that was written below the heading: “Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life. Except in this case, it was something we didn’t really want to share,” she said cryptically.
I was getting tired of the secrecy. “Just tell me what’s happened. It can’t be that bad.”
“Okay, okay,” she said. “Just be prepared.” She clicked on a photo album titled “Prom Pics by Kristy Peters.”
“Who’s she?”
“Just a girl in our grade. She was taking photos all night.”
“Wait, it says I’m tagged in this album,” I said.
“That’s right.” Molly nodded. “You and… someone else.”
Molly clicked on a thumbnail image, and I waited for the full-size picture to load on the screen. My heart thumped in my chest. Had Kristy somehow managed to capture my wings on camera? Or was it just a really unflattering photo that Molly had dubbed an “emergency.” But when the picture flashed up on the screen, I realized that it wasn’t either of those things. It was worse; much, much worse. A ripple of nausea washed through me and my vision tunneled so that all I could see were the two faces on the screen: mine and Jake Thorn’s locked together in a kiss. I sat and stared for several long moments. Jake’s hands were gripping my back, and my hands were on his shoulders, trying to push him away. I had my eyes closed in shock; but to anyone who hadn’t been there to witness the full scene, it looked like I was lost in a moment of passion.
“We have to get rid of it,” I cried, grabbing the mouse. “It has to go.”
“We can’t get rid of it,” Molly said quietly.
“What do you mean?” I choked. “Can’t we just delete it?”
“Only Kristy can delete it off her Facebook,” Molly said. “We could un-tag you, but people will still see the picture on Kristy’s page.”
“But it has to go,” I begged. “It has to go before Xavier sees it.”
Molly looked at me sympathetically.
“Beth, sweetie, I think he’s already seen it.”
I ran out of the computer lab and right out of the school. I didn’t know where Gabriel was, but I couldn’t afford to wait for him. Xavier needed to hear the whole story and he needed to hear it right away.
His house wasn’t far and I ran the whole way there, my faultless sense of direction guiding me. It was the middle of the day so Bernie and Peter were both at work, Claire was with her bridesmaids at a dress fitting, and the others were all at school. So when I rang the doorbell it was Xavier who answered. He was wearing a loose gray sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants and hadn’t shaved. He’d taken the brace off his ankle, but I could see he was still leaning on his right foot. His floppy hair was slightly ruffled, and his face looked as clear and beautiful as always, but there was something different in his eyes. Those familiar turquoise eyes that always seemed to sparkle for me now looked hostile.