Halo

it was to be "Jerry" mingled among them, and they among it and the

vast medium that supported them all, Aleph, in a promiscuous

rendering of self-to-self.  Female was suffused with male, male

with female, both with the ungendered being of Aleph and HeyMex.

They were all changed, then, something deep in the core of each

made drunk in this vast frenzy or bacchanal of Spirit.

With each dispersal of Jerry's self among its human helpers,

Aleph recovered its own.  In a process of steadily accelerating

momentum, the city's parts and states began to flow through it,

restoring self to self, until Aleph acknowledged itself (I am that

I am), looked back again over Halo, and in a triumphant

manifestation of the Aleph-voice, began to speak what only it

could hear, the words of the sentence that defined it unfolding in

every dimension of its being.

#

Still sitting watch over Diana, still meditating on his koan,

Toshi felt something rise like electricity through his spine, and

all the contradictions of in fact dissolved in satori.  "Hai!"

Toshi called, laughing as he was enlightened.

22. Out of the Egg

Gonzales's egg split, and he saw from the corner of his eye

that Lizzie's was coming apart at the same time.  Standing between

the eggs, Charley said, "Congratulations."  He turned to Eric, who

waited at a console across the room, and said, "Let's do it."  He,

Eric, and a pair of sams began to disconnect Lizzie.

Toshi appeared briefly, coming from behind the screen where

Diana lay, then returning.

Oddly, Gonzales felt better than he ever had coming up from

the eggmentally clearer, emotionally stronger.  He couldn't see

Lizzie, could hear only whispers as she was moved onto a gurney

and wheeled away.

"Is Lizzie all right?" Gonzales asked as soon as the tubes

were out of his throat and nose.  "And what about Diana?"

"They're both fine," Eric said, his high-pitched voice

welcoming and familiar.  "But we have to take more time with

Doctor Heywood.  You and Lizzie we're moving into the next room.

You can sleep here tonight and go home in the morning.

"What about the memex?"

"It's still working with Aleph but left a message for you

that all is well."

#

Sitting in full lotus on a mat beside the couch, Toshi heard

a change in Diana's breathing and looked up to see her open her

eyes.  "I'll get Charley," he said.  "He's with Lizzie and

Gonzales."

"Don't bother.  I'm all right."

"They must disconnect you."

"No, not now  almost never, in fact."

"What do you mean?"

"We have saved Jerry, but there are  conditions."  Her head

lying sideways on the pillow's rough white cloth, she smiled at

Toshi, and said, "When I sleep there, I can wake here, as I do

now, and for very brief periods leave that world.  But I can only

visit here; I must live there.  Otherwise, Jerry will die."

"You have resurrected your dead, then, but at what price,

what sacrifice?"

"Nothing I would not willingly give.  There was no choosing."

"No?"

"I am only doing what I want."

"So the arrow finds the target," Toshi said.

#

Gonzales woke the next morning, showered, dressed, and was

drinking coffee when the room said, "Mr. Traynor is here to see

you."

"Send him in," he said.  One account about to be reckoned up,

he thought.

When he came in, Traynor looked chastened, a state Gonzales

would not usually have associated with the man. "Good morning,"

Gonzales said.

Traynor looked around as if unsure of himself.  He said, "I

am leaving this evening.  You may come with me, if you wish."

Gonzales was looking for his i.d. bracelet, found it on the

nightstand next to the table, and said, "I don't understand.  I'm

not fired?"

"I said that only in the heat of the moment, you know  this

place, these peopleI'm afraid I did not handle things well."

"I see."  Gonzales snapped closed the bracelet's clasp.  "Is

that my only choice?"

"No.  Showalter's been reinstituted as Director SenTrax Halo

Group, and she's gotten the board to agree that you may take the

position offered by the Interface Collective.  The choice is

yours."

"Really?  And what about Horn?"

"He will be returning to Earth."  Traynor laughed.  "I will

have to find something to do with him."

"Indeed.  That all seems clear enough.  When do I have to

tell you my decision?"

"Soonbefore I leave."

"I'll let you know."

Traynor left, and Gonzales took a last look around and went

to see what was happening.  He found Charley looking at monitor

screens dense with lists of data.  The two eggs had been removed,

but the screen around Diana's couch remained.  "What's up,

Charley?" Gonzales asked.

"Look" Charley pointed to the hologram displays of

superimposed wave-forms, red and green.  He said, "The green

curves show the calculated limits of Diana's interface, the red

ones the actual state."

To Gonzales, the red curves seemed huge, perhaps twice the

size of the green ones.  He said, ""What does it mean?"

"That we don't know the rules; that we still have a lot to

learn."  Looking up at Gonzales, Charley's seamed face was lit

with his passion for this new phase of discovery.

"Where's Lizzie?" Gonzales asked.

"She's gone home.  She said for you to come by."

#

Gonzales stood in front of Lizzie's door until it said, "Come

in."  Lizzie was sitting in her front room, its curtains open to

bright sunlight.  She stood and said, "Hello," and smiled.  He

couldn't read that smile, quite, though it seemed less guarded

than before.  "Have a seat.  Would you like some breakfast?"

"No, I'm all right."

"The orange cat was here this morning, looking for you.  And

Showalter just leftshe's back in charge, you know."

"I'd heard."

"She approved my invitation for you to become a member of the

collective, if you wish and they confirm.  I imagine they will

if you take the offer."  Her smile had a little mischief in it.

"What do you think I should do?"

"Your  choice."  She spoke the word with emphasis, as though

it had special meaning for her.  "We can talk about it."

"Sure."

The remainder of the morning passed, and they talkedthough

somehow what they said had little to do with the collective or the

job Gonzales had been offered.  They chattered to one another,

their ostensible topics pretexts for a certain tone of voice, an

exchange of glances, a shift of the limbs:  for necessary

intensities of attention.

Intimacy proceeded according to its own rules, nurtured in a

web of subtle communications:  a widening of the eyes; a posture

open to the other's presence; multiple gestures and words whose

import was clearcome closer.  Though consciousness might be busy

or blind, the eyes see, and the brain and body know, for such

communications are too important to be left to mere conscious

apprehension or thought.

They ate lunch, which served to move them closer together,

face-to-face across her table, and their gestures and voices