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I got down on my knees and I held the binoculars with one hand and pulled my cock out with the other. I spit in my palm and began. For a moment I thought I saw a flash of panties. I was about to come. I stopped. I kept looking with the binocs and then I started rubbing again. When I was about to come I stopped again. Then I waited and began rubbing again. This time I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. She was right there. I was looking right up her! It was like fucking. I came. I spurted all over the hardwood floor in front of the window. It was white and thick. I got up and went to the bathroom and got some toilet paper, came back and wiped it up. I took it back to the toilet and flushed it away.

Mrs. Anderson came and sat on those steps almost every day and each time she did I got the binocs and whacked-off.

If Mr. Anderson ever finds out about this, I thought, he'll kill me.. .

My parents went to the movies every Wednesday night. The theatre had drawings for money and they wanted to win some money. It was on a Wednesday night that I discovered something. The Pirozzis lived in the house south of ours. Our driveway ran along the north side of their house and there was a window which looked into their front room. The window was veiled by a thin curtain. There was a wall which became an arch over the front of our driveway and there were bushes all about. When I got between that wall and the window, in among all those bushes, nobody could see me from the street, especially at night.

I crawled in there. It was great, better than I expected. Mrs. Pirozzi was sitting on the couch reading a newspaper. Her legs were crossed, and in an easy chair across the room, Mr. Pirozzi was reading a newspaper. Mrs. Pirozzi was not as young as Miss Gredis or Mrs. Anderson, but she had good legs and she had on high heels and almost every time she turned a page of her newspaper, she'd cross her legs and her skirt would climb higher and I would see more.

If my parents come home from the movie and catch me here, I thought, then my life is over. But it's worth it. It's worth the risk.

I stayed very quiet behind the window and stared at Mrs. Pirozzi's legs. They had a large collie, Jeff, who was asleep in front of the door. I had looked at Miss Gredis' legs that day in English class, then I had whacked-off to Mrs. Anderson's legs, and now - there was more. Why didn't Mr. Pirozzi look at Mrs. Pirozzi's legs? He just kept reading his newspaper. It was obvious that Mrs. Pirozzi was trying to tease him because her skirt kept climbing higher and higher. Then she turned a page and crossed her legs very fast and her skirt flipped back exposing her pure white thighs. She was just like buttermilk! Unbelievable! She was best of all!

Then from the corner of my eye I saw Mr. Pirozzi's legs move. He stood up very quickly and moved toward the front door. I started running, crashing through the bushes. I heard him open his front door. I was down the driveway and into our backyard and behind the garage. I stood a moment, listening. Then I climbed the back fence, over the vines and on over into the next backyard. I ran through that yard and up the driveway and I began dog-trotting south down the street like a guy practicing for track. There was nobody behind me but I kept trotting. If he knows it was me, if he tells my father, I'm dead. But maybe he just let the dog out to take a shit? I trotted down to West Adams Boulevard and sat on a streetcar bench. I sat there five minutes or so, then I walked back home. When I got there, my parents weren't back yet. I went inside, undressed, turned out the lights and waited for morning…

Another Wednesday night Baldy and I were taking our usual short cut between two apartment houses. We were on our way to his father's wine cellar when Baldy stopped at a window. The shade was almost down but not quite. Baldy stopped, bent, and peeked inside. He waved me over.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Look!"

There was a man and a woman in bed, naked. There was just a bedsheet partly over them. The man was trying to kiss the woman and she was pushing him away.

"God damn it, let me have it, Marie!"

"No!"

"But I'm hot, please."

"Take your god-damned hands off me!"

"But, Marie, I love you!"

"You and your fucking love…"

"Marie, please. "

"Will you shut up?"

The man turned toward the wall. The woman picked up a magazine, bunched a pillow behind her head, and began reading it.

Baldy and I walked away from the window,

"Jesus," said Baldy, "that made me sick!"

"I thought we were going to see something," I said. When we got to the wine cellar Baldy's old man had put a big padlock on the cellar door.

We tried that window again and again but we never actually saw anything happen. It was always the same.

"Marie, it's been a long time. We're living together, you know.

We're married!"

"Big fucking deal!"

"Just this once, Marie, and I won't bother you again, I won't bother you for a long time, I promise!"

"Shut up! You make me sick!"

Baldy and I walked away.

"Shit," I said.

"Shit," he said.

"I don't think he's got a cock," I said.

"He might as well not have," said Baldy. We stopped going back there.

27

Wagner wasn't done with us. I was standing in the yard during gym class when he walked up to me.

"What are you doing, Chinaski?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

I didn't answer.

"How come you're not in any of the games?"

"Shit. That's kid stuff."

"I'm putting you on garbage detail until further notice."

"What for? What's the charge?"

"Loitering. 50 demerits."

The kids had to work off their demerits on garbage detail. If you had more than ten demerits and didn't work them off, you couldn't graduate. I didn't care whether I graduated or not. That was their problem. I could just stay around getting older and older and bigger and bigger. I'd get all the girls.

"50 demerits?" I asked. "Is that all you're going to give me? How about a hundred?"

"O.K., one hundred. You got 'em."

Wagner swaggered off. Peter Mangalore had 500 demerits. Now I was in second place, and gaining…

The first garbage detail was during the last thirty minutes of lunch. The next day I was carrying a garbage can with Peter Mangalore. It was simple. We each had a stick with a sharp nail on the end of it. We picked up papers with the stick and stuck them into the can. The girls watched us as we walked by. They knew we were bad. Peter looked bored and I looked like I didn't give a damn. The girls knew we were bad.

"You know Lilly Fischman?" Pete asked as we walked along.

"Oh, yes, yes."

"Well, she's not a virgin."

"How do you know?"

"She told me."

"Who got her?"

"Her father."

"Hmmm… Well you can't blame him."

"Lilly's heard I've got a big cock."

"Yeah, it's all over school."

"Well, Lilly wants it. She claims she can handle it."

"You'll rip her to pieces."

"Yeah, I will. Anyhow, she wants it."

We put the garbage can down and stared at some girls who were sitting on a bench. Pete walked toward the bench. I stood there. He walked up to one of the girls and whispered something in her ear. She started giggling. Pete walked back to the garbage can. We picked it up and walked away.

"So," said Pete, "this afternoon at 4 p.m. I'm going to rip Lilly to pieces."

"Yeah?"

"You know that broken-down car at the back of the school that Pop Farnsworth took the engine out of?"

"Yeah."

"Well, before they haul that son-of-a-bitch away, that's going to be my bedroom. I'm going to take her in the back seat."

"Some guys really live."