Serge hit pause on the remote, stood up without urgency and gave Lenny a roundhouse kung fu kick in the solar plexus. The pill flew out and plinked off the TV screen.
“Now the movie’s ruined,” said Serge. He went over to the writing table and immersed himself in the tedium of taking apart and reassembling the homing signal receiver for the fifth time since they got to the motel.
“What are ya doin’?” Lenny asked.
No answer. Serge wore safety goggles, and the soldering iron gave off a tentacle of smoke when he touched it to a capacitor.
Lenny reached under the bed and pulled out a sturdy nylon travel bag with zippers, pockets, compression bands, D-rings and Velcro.
He suddenly had Serge’s attention by the short hairs. “What’s that?” Serge asked, unplugging the soldering iron and coming over to the bed.
“My special bag,” said Lenny. “It’s got more little pockets and compartments than I have stuff.” He dumped the contents onto the bed. “Take out all my crap and-boom!-molded rubber bottom and insulated sides. It becomes a cooler-perfect for the barfly on the go!”
“Cool!” said Serge.
“I got something even better,” said Lenny. “Put out your hands and close your eyes.”
“They’re closed.”
“No peeking,” said Lenny.
“I’m not peeking! Hurry up, already.”
Lenny reached out and placed a small plastic cube in Serge’s cupped hands. Serge opened his eyes.
“It’s just a rock in a clear plastic box,” said Serge. “What’s the deal? Does it have a gem inside? A core of Uranium 238?”
“No, it’s just a rock. But it’s where it’s from that’s special.”
“Give.”
“The moon.”
“Baloney!” said Serge. “It’s against the law to own moon rocks-they’re all in government vaults. All eight hundred and fifty pounds from the six landing sites.”
“And where else?” Lenny asked with a smile.
“All except the ones the president gave as personal gifts to foreign dignitaries.”
Lenny’s smile broadened.
“Get outta town!” said Serge, and he punched Lenny in the shoulder.
“I hear it’s from Honduras. Look, it’s got this nifty certificate, too.”
Lenny pulled a wallet from his back pocket. He opened the bill section and removed a piece of paper that had been folded six times and had a circular coffee stain. Serge recognized the authentic Richard Nixon signature.
“You sonuvabitch,” Serge said, and he punched Lenny again. It hurt a little, but Lenny kept smiling.
“How’d you get it?”
“I fronted a guy a lid of weed in Deerfield Beach, and he couldn’t pay me back. You know how it gets, after you have to bug a guy over a pot debt long enough, they start getting mad at you like you’re the one who’s in the wrong. So we’re there in his apartment, stoned again-my weed of course-and I say, ‘Look, it’s been three weeks. Put up, man. Show some good faith. Whatever you got. A lottery ticket, a burrito-I just need some collateral.’ So I follow him into his room and he pulls out his sock drawer, and taped to the back is this rock.”
“What are you doin’ with it here?” asked Serge.
“I’m gonna sell it. I’ve been making some calls to get an auction together. I bet it can fetch at least ten large on the black market.”
“Like hell you’re gonna sell it!”
“Why not?”
“Cuz I’ll kick your ass if you do! You know what you got there? That is the coolest! If I had one, I’d never sell it. I’d keep it in a special container with the rest of my special stuff.”
“Why?”
“To look at. You know, when you get the mood some nights to get your special stuff out and put it on the table, and you sit there and look at it and play with it, move it around…”
Lenny had a puzzled look.
“What?” said Serge. “Didn’t you have any hobbies when you were a kid?”
“So what am I supposed to do with it?” Lenny asked.
“If it’ll bring ten grand, so will a fully authenticated counterfeit moon rock. I can get this certificate touched up at Kinko’s and we’ll run off a bunch. Then we’ll get a few Lucite display boxes with little pedestals inside, like they use to show off autographed baseballs. We’ll sell the rock over and over again.”
“Where we gonna find more rocks?”
A red Audi driven by Tommy Diaz slowed on Gulf Boulevard and turned into the driveway of Hammerhead Ranch.
“Aaaaaauuuuuuuu!” Tommy yelled, and cut the wheel, barely missing two men crouched low to the ground in the parking lot.
Lenny looked up from the pavement as the Audi swerved by, barely missing him. “I think we’re too far out,” Lenny told Serge. “We’re gonna get run over.”
The pair duck-walked to the side of the motel parking lot, picking up rocks as they went.
“How about this one?” Lenny asked, holding up a smooth white river rock used in decorative landscaping.
“Are you still high? At least make some attempt to select one that looks real. That certificate is only gonna fool ’em so much.”
Serge sorted through some rocks next to a garbage can, and he picked one up and held it in front of his face. “Okay, here we go. We’re cookin’ now!”
“How’s that rock better than mine?”
“Look at it! Think basaltic, igneous-use your imagination. This could be from an ejecta blanket on the Sea of Storms. See the perforated texture? Intense heat, geological trauma! A few more of these and we’re in business!”
Serge leaned back down and sorted meticulously through the rubble among the butts and bottle caps.
“You gotta be careful selling space stuff on the black market,” said Serge. “Local cops and even the FBI shouldn’t be a problem, but you don’t want to mess with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Just ask the shrimper who’s talking to rats in his jail cell.”
“What happened?”
“They were on a trawler dragging the North Atlantic for shrimp when they snagged a tiny metal box. The shrimper cracked it open and found some personal effects and a few crew patches that said ‘Challenger.’ Their nets had hit a small skid of debris that hadn’t been found after the space shuttle blew an O-ring in ’86. The guy goes back to Cocoa Beach of all places and tries peddling the box around the pawnshops. He’s asking twenty grand, and he ends up settling for something like thirty bucks.”
“Not too shrewd,” said Lenny.
“That’s why they’re the underclass,” said Serge. “So the pawnshop owner calls NASA, and the next thing the guy knows, he’s walking down the sidewalk on A1A when ten agents come out of thin air and gang-swarm him… All that scientific nerd stuff you hear? Total garbage-these boys don’t play.”
They stopped talking and went back to collecting rocks.
A half hour later, Serge was still at it, subjecting every pebble to the same intricate degree of scrutiny. Lenny was totally bored and cranky.
“I think this is a lot more work than we have to go through,” he whined. “At a certain point it’s just not worth it anymore.”
Serge turned around with a handful of rocks. “It’s not a question of whether crime pays. It’s whether you enjoy your job. That’s the key to life.”
A n hour later, Serge and Lenny lay on their backs on their motel beds. Serge held the moon rock above his face, moving it around in the air, making rocket-thruster sounds with his mouth.
Lenny was on the bed next to the window, head toward the door. Serge had given him his keychain laser pointer to play with, and Lenny held it up above him, shooting the beam around the room and out the window.
“This is the coolest,” said Lenny, waving the red light around. “Since we’re gonna sell counterfeit moon rocks, I really don’t need the original. Wanna trade for the laser?”
“Deal!” said Serge.