“You wait,” he threatened. “You just wait, my lady. That’s all.”
“To think of you falling for an old wheeze like that.”
“And I changed the calendar, too.”
“Never mind. There’s the genuine article, look. Under your serviette.”
“Napkin,” Alfred said. He had been in Mr. Period’s service for ten years. “I don’t know if you’re aware of the fact,” he added, taking the top off his egg, “but April Fool’s Day goes back to pagan times, Mrs. Mitchell.”
“Fancy! With your attainments, I often wonder you don’t look elsewhere for employment.”
“You might say I lack ambition.” Alfred paused, his spoon halfway to his mouth. “The truth of the matter is,” he added, “I like service. Given favourable circumstances, it suits me. And the circumstances here are — or were — very nice.”
A telephone rang distantly. “I’ll answer it,” Mrs. Mitchell offered. “You take your breakfast in peace.”
She went out. Alfred opened his second egg and his Daily Mail and was immersed in both when she returned.
“Miss Cartell,” she said.
“Oh?”
“Asking for her brother. ’Oh,’ she says. ’Mrs. Mitchell!’ she says. ‘Just the person I wanted to have a word with!’ You know her way. Bluff, but doing the gracious.”
Alfred nodded slightly.
“And she says, ‘I want you,’ she says, ‘before I say anything to my brother, to tell me, absolutely frankly,’ she says, ‘between you and me and the larder shelf, if you think the kweezeen would stand two more for lunch.’ Well!”
“To whom was she referring?”
“To that Miss Moppett and a friend. A gentleman friend, you may depend upon it. Well! Asking me! As far as the kweezeen is concerned, a nice curry can be stretched, as you know yourself, Mr. Belt, to ridiculous lengths.”
“What did you say?”
“ ‘I’m sure, Miss,’ I says — just like that! Straight out! ‘My kitchen,’ I says, ‘has never been found wanting in a crisis,’ I says. And with that I switched her up to his room.”
“Mr. Period,” Alfred said, “will not be pleased.”
“You’re telling me! Can’t stand the young lady, to give her the benefit of the title, and I’m sure I don’t blame him. Mr. Cartell feels the same, you can tell. Well, I mean to say! She’s no relation. Picked up nobody knows where and educated by a spinster sister to act like his niece, which call her, as you may have remarked, Mr. Belt, he will not. A bad girl, if ever I see one, and Miss Cartell will find it out one of these days, you mark my words.”
Alfred laid aside his paper and continued with his breakfast. “It’s the Arrangement,” he said, following out his own thought, “and you can’t get away from it: Separate rooms, with the joint use of the bathroom, and meals to be shared — with the right of either party to invite guests.” He finished his tea. “It doesn’t answer,” he said. “I never thought it would. We’ve been under our own steam too long for sharing. We’re getting fussed. Looking forward to a nice day, with a letter of condolence to be written — Lady Bantling’s brother, for your information, Mrs. M., with whom she has not been on speaking terms these ten years or more — and young lady coming in to help with the book; and now this has to happen. Pity.”
She went to the door and opened it slightly. “Mr. C,” she said with a jerk of her head. “Coming down.”
“His breakfast’s in the dining-room,” said Alfred.
That light tattoo sounded on the door. It opened and Mr. Cartell’s face appeared: thin, anxious and tightly smiling. The dog, Pixie, was at his heels. Alfred and Mrs. Mitchell stood up.
“Oh — ah — good morning, Mrs. Mitchell. ’Morning, Alfred. Just to say that my sister telephoned to ask if we can manage two more. I hope it won’t be too difficult, Mrs. Mitchell, at such short notice.”
“I daresay we’ll manage quite nicely, sir.”
“Shall we? Oh, excellent. Ah — I’ll let Mr. Period know. Good,” said Mr. Cartell. He withdrew his head, shut the door and retired, whistling uncertainly, to the dining-room.
For the second time in half an hour Alfred repeated his leit-motif. “It won’t answer,” he said. “I never thought it would.”
“Sawn-lee,” a hollow voice on the loudspeaker announced. “Sawn-lee. The four carriages in the front portion of the train now arrived at No. 1 platform will proceed to Rimble, Bornlee Green and Little Codling. The rear portion will proceed to Forthamstead and Ribblethorpe. Please make sure you are in the correct part of the train. Sawn-lee. The four carriages...”
Nicola Maitland-Mayne heard this pronouncement with dismay. “But I don’t know,” she cried to her fellow passengers, “which portion I’m in! Is this one of the first four carriages?”
“It’s the fifth,” said the man in the corner. “Next stop Forthamstead.”
“Oh, damn!” Nicola said cheerfully and hauled her typewriter and overcoat down from the rack. Someone opened the doors for her. She plunged out, staggered along the platform, and climbed into another carriage as the voice was saying: “All seats, please, for Rimble, Bornlee Green and Little Codling.”
The first compartment was full and so was the second. She moved along the corridor, looked in at the third, and gave it up.
A tall man, further along the corridor, said: “There’s plenty of room up at the end.”
“I’m Second Class.”
“I should risk it if I were you. You can always pay up if the guard comes along but he never does on this stretch, I promise you.”
“Oh, well,” Nicola said, “I believe I will. Thank you.”
He opened the door of the First Class compartment. She went in and found nobody there. A bowler, an umbrella, and The Times, belonging, she supposed, to the young man himself, lay on one seat She sat on the other. He shut the door and stood in the corridor, his back to her, smoking.
Nicola looked out of the window for a minute or two. Presently she remembered her unfinished crossword, and took her own copy of The Times out of her overcoat pocket.
Eight across: Vehicle to be sick on or just get a ringing in the ears? (8)
The train had roared through a cutting and was slowing down for Cabstock when she ejaculated: “Oh, good Lord! Carillon, of course, how stupid!” She looked up to find the young man smiling at her from the opposite seat.
“I stuck over that one, too,” he said.
“How far did you get?”
“All but five. Maddening.”
“So did I,” Nicola said.
“I wonder if they’re the same ones. Shall I look?”
He picked up his paper. She noticed that under the nail of the first finger of his right hand there was a smear of scarlet.
Between them they continued the crossword. It is a matter of conjecture how many complete strangers have been brought into communication by this means. Rimble and Bornlee Green were passed before they filled in the last word.
“I should say,” the young man remarked as he folded up his Times, “that we’re in much the same class.”
“That may be true of crosswords, but it certainly isn’t of railway carriages,” Nicola rejoined. “Heavens, where are we?”
“Coming in to Codling. My station, what a bore!”
“It’s mine too,” Nicola exclaimed, standing up.
“No! Is it really? Jolly good,” said the young man. “I’ll be able to bluff you past the gate. Here we go. Are you putting your coat on? Give me that thing. What is it, a typewriter? Sorry about my unsuitable bowler, but I’m going to a cocktail party this evening. Where’s me brolly? Come on.”