Their estate was on the edge of an ex-pit village and a skein of geese flew overhead from a subsidence pond as he walked up the path. He looked up to watch them, before opening the door. The younger children were in the front room watching a DVD, so he and Sal stood in the small kitchen, communicating in hissed whispers.
‘So what happened?’ He tried to tell himself that really it wasn’t Sal’s fault and she’d be feeling even more wretched than him, but he couldn’t quite keep the hint of accusation from his voice.
‘Sarah’s mother didn’t realize Jessie was missing until they met up in Blake’s for lunch.’ Sal was crying now. She’d held herself together for the younger kids, but now she started sobbing.
He took her in his arms and held her tight. ‘She’ll be fine. You know our Jessie. Sense of direction of a gnat. Remember how she got lost in Boots in Morpeth. Just tell me what happened. Didn’t her friends see her wander off?’ His voice light and calm – he could be on the stage.
‘Apparently they split up into two groups, and each thought she was with the other. It was only when they met up for their lunch that they saw she wasn’t there. A couple of the older ones went back to look for her, but they couldn’t see her.’ Sal reached behind her for a tea towel and dried her eyes with it. ‘Sarah’s mother thought Jess had just headed home. She phoned, expecting her to be here.’
He didn’t say anything, but fumed silently at the irresponsibility of the woman who was supposed to be looking after Jess, and at the carelessness of her friends.
‘Your boss phoned,’ Sal said. For some reason she never used Vera’s name. ‘She asked me to email her a photo of Jess. She said they were checking the CCTV in town anyway, and she’d get her people to keep an eye out for Jess.’
Joe thought that Vera’s mind must be working the same way as his. She’d already been looking for Malcolm’s picture on the CCTV in town. Now she’d get the watchers looking for Malcolm and Jessie together.
‘There you are, then,’ Joe said. ‘They’re doing all they can. They’ll have her home in no time.’ Even as he spoke he wondered if he was really being kind. Perhaps he should prepare Sal for the possibility that their daughter had been abducted. She’d hear soon enough in the media that they’d allowed the suspect in the murder investigation to escape, and then she’d be furious with him for keeping her in the dark. But he couldn’t face telling her the truth now. ‘Look, I’ve got to go back to work. I can do more there anyway. I’ll call you if I hear anything.’ Knowing that he was a coward.
He opened the door into the living room and shouted hello and goodbye to the kids there. They smiled and waved before their eyes returned to the screen. He drove down the road and parked round the corner, where Sal couldn’t see him, then phoned Vera’s mobile.
‘Where are you?’ she said. ‘Your Sal needs you with her. She’s falling to bits.’
‘I’ve just come from home.’ He couldn’t say that he couldn’t bear lying to his wife any more. But he certainly couldn’t bear telling her the truth. ‘Any news on Malcolm Kerr?’
‘I’ve got men watching his car at Partington,’ she said. He wondered where Vera was. He thought he could hear gulls in the background. ‘I doubt he’d be daft enough to turn up for it, but I don’t suppose he’ll be thinking straight now.’
‘Do you need me back at the station?’ When there was no immediate answer Joe continued, ‘I might go into town, see if I can find our Jessie.’ He could tell he sounded pathetic, but he couldn’t stand hanging around the station, not able to concentrate, jumping every time his phone went, his head full of images of knives and blood.
‘Aye, why don’t you do that?’ Vera said. He thought she just wanted him out of the way. She believed that he wouldn’t function properly with his mind on his daughter.
‘Don’t you care about her?’ A bellow. ‘A possible witness to a murder, and the suspect on the loose?’ As soon as he’d spoken he knew that was unforgivable. The one thing they all knew about Vera Stanhope was that she cared. And she probably had the same pictures in her head as he did.
He thought she was going to let rip with a fury that would tear him apart, but there was such a long silence on the other end of the phone that he imagined she’d hung up on him in disgust.
‘You do what you think best, pet. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.’ Her voice quiet with pity. And guilt.
He drove back to Mardle, pulled back there by a kind of magnetic field. He had a vague plan to get on the Metro at the end of the line, because perhaps Kerr was fooling them all and was just riding the trains. In the crowds it would be a good place to hide. And the Metro would take him into town, and that was the last place that Jessie had been seen.
His phone rang. It was Sal. His pulsed raced. Jess would be home, safe and well. But Sal only had the same question. ‘Any news?’ Her voice hoarse and desperate.
‘I’m on my way into town,’ he said. ‘I’ll find her. Don’t worry.’ Before she spoke again, he cut off her call because he didn’t need her misery as well as his own, and he didn’t think he could pretend any longer that everything was okay.
The Metro car park was full and he ended up stopping in Harbour Street, just across the road from the church.
Passing St Bartholomew’s, he tried the door and found it was open. He’d been brought up to believe in a Methodist God of social justice and respectable hard work. His dad had been a lay preacher and had seen evil as exploitation and poverty and the flamboyant decadence of people in the south. Now, Joe couldn’t contemplate evil as an almost inevitable result of poor housing or family breakdown. There could be no excuse for a man who planned harm to his daughter. He slipped into the back pew and tried to pray.
Bring our Jessie back safely and I’ll do anything you want of me. He tried to think what pact he could make with the Lord, but nothing seemed sufficiently important to set against Jessie’s life. There was a deep silence in the church. He was leaning forward with his forehead on his arms, and it was only when he straightened that he realized he wasn’t alone. Peter Gruskin was standing in front of the altar looking at him. Joe couldn’t face explaining his presence to the man. He stood up and hurried outside.
A shower blew in from the sea. Stinging rain flecked with ice. Further inland there would be snow. The street was almost dark, although it was still early afternoon, but there were no lights in the Harbour Guest House. It seemed like months since he and Vera had first visited there. He remembered walking down the basement stairs, and meeting the woman whose song had been the background music to his romance with Sal. ‘White Moon Summer’ played in his head again. He realized suddenly that his ignorance had made him responsible for a murder. He wondered if a lifetime of guilt was enough to barter against his daughter’s safe return.