Yet it hadn’t made Shane angry or bitter or prone to lash out. It made him want to help others from going through the same. And it made Crystal want to hold Shane, comfort him, and protect him the way he was protecting her.
“This way,” Shane said, leading her through the living room. The apartment was really cool. Masculine and modern. Tons bigger than the shoebox she and Jenna shared. Or, had shared. After they got Jenna back, could they even risk returning there for their things? Her stomach plummeted thinking they might have to give up their most cherished belongings, her mother’s sewing machine, the clothes she’d made, Jenna’s huge collection of books, their family pictures. All the money she’d saved. But she couldn’t worry about that right now. One thing at a time.
And the first thing—by far the most important thing—was getting Jenna back. Crystal’s insides nearly vibrated from the frustration and anxiety of having to wait. But it wasn’t like she had much of a choice because she didn’t believe Bruno would really let Jenna go if Crystal breezed in the front door. And having heard Shane’s friends talk through the options, she’d been convinced that going in under the cover of the bachelor party gave them all kinds of advantages.
But in the meantime, it was a little hard to exist in her skin. And it felt wrong to eat a meal or go to sleep or enjoy Shane’s company while Jenna was in such grave danger. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to help Jenna when she returns. There was truth in that. With two such serious seizures so close together, Jenna’s health was likely to be rocky in the coming days.
To actually manage food in her belly or falling asleep, she was going to have to lock away her worry for Jenna. Temporarily. Easier said than done, though.
Maybe Shane could help. Maybe allowing herself the distraction of his company and his touch and his kind words was exactly what she needed.
Maybe wanting him—even now in the middle of this life-and-death situation—wasn’t the betrayal to Jenna that her conscience held it up to be.
Light spilled from under a doorway just ahead, and two people walked into the hallway as she and Shane neared.
“Oh, good. I was hoping I’d get to introduce you two tonight,” Shane said to a pretty blond-haired woman standing with Nick.
Shane’s introduction was hardly out of his mouth when Becca threw her arms around Crystal’s neck and hugged her. “Thank you so much for helping the guys get my brother out of there. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. Nick just told me,” she said with such sincerity and concern.
Crystal was so unused to friendly, affectionate touch that at first she flinched in response to Becca’s expression of gratitude. But the other woman didn’t seem to notice. “You’re welcome,” Crystal said, her throat tight with sadness again. “I guess you know what this is like.”
Becca grasped Crystal’s hand. “I do. And if they could get Charlie out, they can get Jenna, too. Don’t lose hope.”
“I’ll try.” The conviction in Becca’s voice almost made Crystal believe it.
“We were gonna grab a bite to eat,” Nick said. “You guys want anything?”
“Crystal?” Shane asked, his big, warm hand on the small of her back.
Something about his touch there made her feel special, claimed. “Um, I wouldn’t mind a drink, but my stomach’s too jittery for food right now.”
Shane guided her to the kitchen, showed her the mountain of drink choices in the fridge, and grabbed her a Sprite and a glass of ice.
Nick pulled a half gallon of chocolate chocolate chip ice cream from the freezer. “You change your mind later, Crystal, just help yourself to anything. Make yourself at home. Okay?”
“Thanks,” she said, feeling a little shy in the midst of all the kindness but also incredibly welcomed, too.
“Thought you were getting food,” Shane said.
Nick pointed at the container of dark chocolate chip ice cream with the scoop. “What are you talking about? This is food.”
Becca laughed, and it made Crystal chuckle, too. Crystal was glad there was another woman here to talk to and that Becca knew exactly what she was going through right now.
Shane grabbed a bottle of water and nodded Crystal toward the hall. “Come on,” he said. “I actually live near D.C., but Nick invited us all to crash here when this situation started last week.” He pushed open the door and crossed to the nightstand to turn on a lamp. Low, warm, golden light cast over the room, which just had a queen-size bed with a dark comforter and a dresser within. Unlike the well-lived-in living room and kitchen areas, nothing hung on the walls. But it was clean and safe, and Shane was here. That was all Crystal needed.
Except, as much as she wanted to be alone with Shane, now that she was, she didn’t quite know what to do with herself. Would they sleep here together tonight? Nerves and desire fluttered through her belly, especially when she remembered she only had the clothes on her back.
“I don’t have any clothes,” she said.
Shane waved a hand at the series of duffels lining the one wall. “You’re, uh, welcome to borrow any of my stuff to sleep in or wear. I know it’ll be big, but we’ll figure out something more workable.”
Sleeping in Shane’s clothes? Heat skittered down her spine and made her shiver.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Shane patted the mattress. “Sit down, Crystal. I won’t bite,” he said, that smile she loved curving his lips upward.
“Well, that’s a shame.” Shane’s eyes flashed with masculine interest, and Crystal pressed her fingers to her lips. “I, uh . . .” She shook her head. What had possessed her to say that? She might as well have just thrown out a challenge. Or an invitation. And as intrigued as she was—as she’d been the whole time she’d known him—about what it would be like being intimate with him, she couldn’t help but worry she was setting herself up for a big fall.
What if she froze up or freaked out? What if, once he actually saw the scars, he lost interest?
“Crystal?” he said, patting the bed again.
“Right,” she said. “Sorry.”
Once she sat, Shane shifted toward her, bringing his leg up between them and grasping one of her hands. “I have some things I’d like to say if you think you might like to hear them. But if you’re just feeling too overwhelmed with everything, too worried about Jenna, and you’d rather I didn’t add to it, we can talk another time.”
Anticipation kicked her heart into a staccato beat. “No, I’m okay to talk.”
Shane rewarded her with a smile she felt all the way down to her toes. “Good. I’m glad.” He looked down to where his fingers stroked her hand. “The first thing I want to say is that until you no longer want it, this room is yours. There are some empty beds upstairs, but here you can lock the door and—”
Crystal dropped her gaze to her lap. He didn’t want to stay with her?
“What just happened there?” he asked, concern slipping into his gaze. “I said something wrong.”
“No,” she said, forcing a smile. “It’s okay. It’s great.”
Shane blew out a breath and shook his head, his frustration clear. And though Crystal regretted upsetting him and felt that old panic slinking around the back of her mind, she believed in her heart of hearts he wouldn’t lash out at her.
Next thing she knew, Shane had pushed her backward on the bed and leaned over her without resting any of his weight against her. “I want to make sure I have your attention.”