“It’s beautiful,” I whisper. “Something that beautiful should be cherished.”
“Means a lot to me, that you feel that way about my cars.”
“So you raced?” I whisper.
He nods and I meet his gaze.
“For how long?”
He shrugs. “About two years. I loved it. I was building the cars, Sheyenne and I were together and she introduced me to it. Not only was I getting to build the car, I was driving it. I loved racing, but I love my cars more. I had to pick and when things went south with Sheyenne, I knew I had to give the racing up. I also knew it was risky for my business.”
“And you were selling them illegally … that’s dangerous, Tazen.”
He’s quiet for a minute. “Yeah, I know that. I made a mistake doing that, but sadly I’ve sold a fuck load to illegal races and sketchy people.”
I sigh. “That’s such a risk, Tazen.”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to pull away from it. It won’t be easy but I am doing my best.”
I press my cheek to his cheek. “I understand why you love it. I felt it out there, the adrenaline. It was amazing.”
“It is,” he says fondly. “But it’s also distracting and dangerous.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “I think I see that.”
More silence.
“Did Sheyenne really try and run you over?”
He bursts out laughing, his body shaking against mine. “Yeah, baby, she did.”
I frown. “That’s not okay.”
He laughs harder. “No, I think you’re right about that.”
“Do you … think something is wrong with her?”
He stops laughing and his arm tightens around me. “I…” He hesitates. “Yeah, I do. I don’t know what, but there’s more than just mood swings going on. She refuses to get help, she thinks we’re all crazy.”
“Why didn’t you just cut ties when you broke it off with her? Do you…”
He squeezes me tighter. “No, I don’t love her. I never loved her. I was infatuated with her, she intrigued me, but I was never at that point.”
“Have you ever been at that point?”
He’s silent for a while. “Yeah.”
My heart twists and I swallow down my jealousy. I hate knowing there was a woman out there that had Tazen’s heart. It’s a beautiful heart to have, and I’m curious about what kind of girl managed to capture it.
“Oh, when was that?”
His silence stretches long, I wonder if it’s a story he doesn’t want to share. I’m not one to push, but I do hope he tells me. When he opens his mouth and answers, my entire world, which was in so many pieces, starts fusing back together. All with one, single word.
“Now.”
Now.
Now.
He has gone past that point … now.
With me.
Oh God.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Tazen and I part ways at the track, both of us slightly shaken by his words. He basically admitted he’s falling in love with me, and I said nothing. I just sat there, tucked up in his lap, completely speechless. I think he took it wrong, because he told me quickly that he had to go, kissed me and left. I curse myself that I didn’t say something, but I honestly didn’t know what to say.
I feel the same, there’s no doubt about that, but … my life is so complicated. His is exactly where he wants it to be. I’m not sure us being so serious is going to work. He doesn’t know about my life. He hasn’t met my father. Jesus, we haven’t even spent a full night together. Sure, we’ve been together every day now for months, working and taunting, but that’s all there has been. I … want more.
I want to know who Tazen Watts is.
Where is his family?
Is he close to them?
Where did he grow up?
There are so many unanswered questions that need to come before the confession of love. I need to explain that to him, but instead I sat there speechless, making him feel like I didn’t want it. I decide I can’t let him go to sleep tonight, thinking he’s made a mistake with me. I pull out my phone and text him, just as I arrive at home.
Q—What’s your address? It’s important.
I get out of my car and check on Dad before making my next move. He’s watching something on television, his eyes drooping, his bottle of alcohol tipping all over the sofa. Grinding my teeth, I walk in and pick it up. I take it to the kitchen and toss it in the bin, then I clean up the soggy mess on the couch. Dad is out of it now, so I just push him down and cover him with a blanket.
This is getting tiring.
My phone buzzes just as I get out of the shower. I get dressed in a pair of soft leggings and a tank. Then I throw a hoodie on and lift my phone.
T—Something wrong?
Q—No. I need to see you, Taz. Tell me your address.
T—Okay baby.
He sends his address a minute later and I’m relieved he doesn’t sound angry. I check on Dad again before heading out to my car and driving over to Tazen’s place. When I arrive, I stop in the driveway and look to my left and then to my right. He … lives here? My jaw goes slack when I see his car in the drive. Yes, he lives here. In this … mansion.
I stare up at the three-story cream-colored house. It seems to go on forever. It has a triple garage, a double front door and a porch that is amazing. It wraps right around the base, and it’s at least ten feet wide. I suddenly wonder if I should be here. I live in a cheap two-bedroom shack, and he lives in a mansion. I never felt we were opposites until this very moment.
My heart sinks.
But I get out of the car. I walk up the stone path to the front door. I knock softly on the door, trying to swallow down the pain rising in my chest as I take it all in. A moment later, the front door opens and Tazen is standing there, wearing nothing but a pair of sweats. They sit low on his hips, showing his gorgeous body off. I meet his eyes and they’re soft, but weary. He wants to know why I’m here, I can tell.
“Ah, hey,” I say gently.
“Hey, angel.”
I look past him, then say, “You live here?”
He nods, studying the weariness on my face. “Yeah, you don’t like it?”
Like it? I’ve never seen something so incredible in all my life, but I also know it’s not something I’ll ever have, so it makes me feel uncomfortable. He steps back and pushes the door open. I step in and glance around at the first story of the massive home. The floors are a grey tile, shiny and polished. The furniture ranges from leather creams to blacks. All of it immaculate.
The house is utter perfection. And I’ve never felt so out of my league.
“Quinn?”
I jerk and turn to Tazen. “Ah, I…”
He steps forward, kicking the door closed behind him. He reaches out, cupping my cheek in his hand. He studies my face for a long time, then murmurs quietly. “What’s going on in that head, baby?”
I close my eyes, turning my head towards his palm. I nuzzle him and breathe him in, then I look up and meet his eyes. “I’ve never been somewhere so beautiful, Tazen. I’ve never had…” I let my eyes travel around the room then go back to him. “Anything like this in my life.”
“It makes you uneasy.”
It’s not a question. It’s a fact.
I nod.
“Come on, I know how to make this more … comfortable.”
He drops my cheek and takes my hand, leading me towards a dark grey door near the massive kitchen. He opens it and steps in, then he flicks the light on. A massive, and I mean massive, garage comes into view. It has polished floors, top of the line equipment and the lights are so bright it lights up like a showroom floor. I gasp and let go of his hand, stepping in further.
“Tazen,” I breathe, looking around.
He has three cars in there, one of them is the beautiful car Sheyenne destroyed on the track tonight. He brought it back for me. The other two are red and white racing cars, but they aren’t a classic style. They look like Formula One cars. I wonder if they’re private projects, because I haven’t seen them before. “Those two cars, who are they for?”