"But she has been in Azkaban for years," Sprout objected.
"Yes, but not until after You Know Who vanished," Flitwick pointed out. "He would have entrusted her with a horcrux before her imprisonment."
"But all her possessions are gone," Poppy said. "She couldn't have it with her in Azkaban."
"No, but I'm sure she still has a vault at Gringotts," Flitwick countered. "Wouldn't she have stored such a treasure there? If You Know Who told her to guard it against all dangers?"
"So what good does that do?" Sprout asked. "Surely you're not thinking of breaking into Gringotts!"
The teachers all paused to chuckle at the absurdity of that idea. "No, no, my dear Pomona," Dumbledore said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "I can't imagine that that will be necessary. I think we shall start by speaking with Bill Weasley. His familiarity with the goblins may give us some helpful insight as to how best to proceed.
"But in the meantime, I understand we have happy news to celebrate!" he twinkled at Snape, who glared at him on sheer principle.
"Well, my boy," Dumbledore prompted. "Will you not tell the others?"
Snape grumbled. "I only told you because as Head of the Wizengamot, you had to approve the matter. I certainly did not intend to alert the entire Wizarding world."
"Now, now, glad tidings should always be shared," Albus chided.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake, what is it?" Poppy demanded with some asperity.
Snape looked away and mumbled something.
"What?"
He mumbled again, and finally Dumbledore, with an exasperated look at the younger man, spoke up. "Severus has formally adopted Harry."
There were gasps and cries of congratulations, which just served to make Snape squirm in even more embarrassment. In truth, though, he had avoided telling anyone out of a conviction that everyone would scream in horror, not joy, and immediately do their best to void the proceedings.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Flitwick scolded happily, stretching up to pat the saturnine professor's shoulder. "This calls for a celebration!"
Sprout was sniffling sentimentally into her handkerchief. "Oh, this is such a happy day! How could you keep this to yourself? I must go to the greenhouse and find some flowers to mark the occasion!"
To Snape's astonishment, Poppy bent over to kiss him on the cheek. "I can see you keeping the matter quiet, Severus, but how on earth have you managed to prevent Harry from shouting the news from the Astronomy Tower?"
"Erm, well, I haven't actually told him yet тАУ " Snape began uncomfortably.
"No? But Filius is quite correct: we must commemorate the occasion with a party!" Albus declared. "We can invite the Weasleys and тАУ"
"I hardly think such extravagance тАУ" Snape tried again, but it was clear that no one was listening to him, and the other faculty excitedly made plans for a big party in a few days' time тАУ to give Remus the chance to recover from the full moon.
Only Minerva withdrew from the excitement and came to sit next to Snape. "You are indeed a good man, Severus," she said quietly. "Harry is a very lucky boy."
He huffed and looked away, not wanting to show how much her words pleased him.
"But," she began, and he looked at her sharply. Ah yes, there is always a 'but', isn't there? "But you must share the news with Harry privately, before the party. This sort of news isn't something to learn in front of a crowd."
Snape nodded impatiently. Did she truly think he hadn't realized that for himself? What if the boy howled in protest? Or disgust?
Just because Harry had accepted the notion of Snape assuming the role of a guardian and even chose to call him by some ridiculous title, didn't mean he would welcome the fact that the Potion Master had legally assumed the role of his father. It was quite possible that he would see this as some form of betrayal of James and pitch a fit.
Not that Snape would be swayed by such an outburst. He knew that to properly protect Harry, he needed full control of the boy, and adoption was the only way to get it. Harry might not like it, but that was too bad. Snape wasn't about to take any chance that Dumbledore would one day object to his handling of the brat or that Sirius would regret his decision not to demand custody. No, he needed the formal adoption to make sure that his would be the final say in the brat's life for the next five years.
He'd been rather amazed that it had gone through as smoothly and quietly as it had. He supposed that he had the new Minister and Dumbledore to thank for that, not that his preparatory work in securing the Weasleys' support, not to mention Black's and Lupin's, hadn't been a good idea.
He had even gone to the Dursleys to obtain their signatures, formally renouncing all ties to the boy. That had been great fun, actually. He hadn't known how inventive a demented house elf could be, and it had taken several calming draughts to get Vernon and Petunia just to the point where they could hold a pen and sign their names legibly.
Still, having the requisite support hadn't really convinced him that the application would succeed. After all, allowing The Boy Who Lived to be adopted by a former Death Eater? Skeeter could have had a field day with that story!
And yet all was quiet in the press, though he knew the reporter must have sources throughout the Ministry. He wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, however, and he had already been planning to take advantage of the unexpected news blackout to inform Harry.
"I will tell him. Tomorrow," he agreed curtly, and McGonagall nodded in approval.
"Good. And you may wish to wear old robes when you do," she smirked as she rose.
Snape glared after her. So the old witch expected Harry to scream and throw things, did she? As if he didn't know enough shield charms to protect himself!
The next evening, however, he did dress in old robes and ensure that nothing valuable nor particularly heavy was within arms' reach when he summoned the boy to his chambers.
"Hi, Da!" Harry greeted his guardian with his usual good humor. He wasn't sure why the man had called for him, but he was reasonably confident that he wasn't in any trouble. There was no way that anyone could have found out it was Draco, Ron, and him in the kitchens that night. The house elves had been sworn to secrecy, and it really could have been anybody who had carefully placed a dozen blueberry pies on the seats of the Hufflepuff common room chairs then erected disillusionment charms over them.
Just because Professor Flitwick had recently taught him the spell didn't prove anything; plenty of the older kids already knew the charm. And really, if the 'Puffs were going to go around boasting about how they were the good House, who didn't get into trouble or start fights or anything, they were just asking to be pranked, right? Not to mention that if they couldn't be troubled to keep their secret password secret, then that was really the same as inviting non-Hufflepuffs to visitтАж or at least that's how Draco had argued the point.
Harry was pretty sure that no one would think to accuse Draco and Ron of doing anything together, and they'd been careful to pick a night when the twins were already confined to the infirmary after their latest potion unexpectedly blew up, giving them hideously enlarged noses. Perhaps even more importantly, they also chose a time when Hermione and Neville were both distracted by an upcoming Herbology exam. Hermione and Neville were unlikely to be blamed, as the twins might, but they were also unlikely to approve of the prank and could let something slip accidentally. Harry doubted that even Hermione would actually stoop to tattling, but as Draco pointed out, he didn't want the little witch scolding him for the rest of the school year either.