James nodded, eyes twinkling a bit like Dumbledore's. "Yes, though even I never called Voldemort 'a sick fuck', let alone a '*****'."
"Da said it was okay to use that kind of language to Voldesnort," Harry said quickly. "Just not anywhere else."
He was relieved to see both parents seemed more amused than horrified by his choice of words. "I told you that teaching him the phrase 'sod off' when he was so little would have long term effects," Lily told James, giving him a poke in the side.
"Did you really?" Harry asked his dad, delighted.
James laughed. "Sure did! Well, it was your mum's fault really," he teased. "It was her idea to have Petunia and the piglet visit. I just made sure you were prepared."
Harry laughed so hard he nearly choked.
"So you see, Harry, those Potter genes will get you in trouble every time."
"Did you get in trouble a lot when you were a kid, Dad?" Harry asked eagerly.
"Oh, yeah. Padfoot hasn't told you half the stories yet. We used to get into some real scrapes, and my dad wasn't nearly so soft on us as Snape is on you," James said, giving Harry a poke in the tummy. "Sirius and I got slippered so often one summer, I practically forgot how to sit down."
Harry grinned. He didn't mind the whacking so much any more. It was practically a tradition for Potter men.
Then gentle fingers were under his chin and his face was being pulled around towards his mother. "I hope you've learned your lesson, Harry," Lily said firmly, "and if you do go back, you won't be so silly."
"No, Mum," Harry agreed softly. He would have promised anything just to see her smile at him.
"Good," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Harry squirmed into a slightly more comfortable position, off the spots where James' hand had fallen hardest. "If I do go back, Da will probably wallop me too. He hates it when I do something stupid or dangerous or disobedient, and this was all three," he sighed, sounding as pathetic as he could.
As he'd hoped, he was instantly engulfed in two sets of arms. He did his best to keep the happy smirk off his face as both parents clucked and fussed over him.
"I think you're worrying over nothing," Lily smiled at him. "You know Sev is a big softy, and he'll be too busy hugging you to punish you."
James nodded. "Why do you think I whacked you?" he asked. "Now Snape won't have to feel obligated. You've had your punishment, right?"
Harry brightened at that thought. His da would never punish him twice for the same thing, and knowing that James had smacked him тАУ a lot harder and longer than he would have, too! тАУ would surely be enough.
"Are you sure you won't be upset if I go back?" Harry asked, his voice quavering a little. "I really don't want to leave you, you know."
"Oh, love, you'll never leave us, and we'll never leave you," Lily promised, brushing away a tear.
"It's true," James promised, winking at Harry. "You're stuck with us, Pronglet. We will always be with you and we'll always love you. And one day тАУ many many years from now, we'll be together again."
Harry sniffled. "Promise?"
"Promise. And by then, you'll be too big to spank, no matter what you do," James grinned.
Harry grinned back. "I won't be too big for us to go flying though, right?"
James hooted. "You're never too big to go flying! Haven't you figured that out?" He ruffled Harry's hair. "You're my kid, all right."
Lily punched him in the shoulder. "Were you ever in any doubt?" she demanded icily.
James swallowed hard. "Ah, erтАж"
"Well, I would kinda like to go back and figure out what my animagus form is," Harry said quickly, diverting his mum's attention. "And to graduate an' all."
"Oh, Harry, that's perfectly understandable," Lily reassured him. Behind her back, James mimed wiping his forehead and mouthed a "thank you!" to his son.
Harry grinned.
"You know," Lily said wistfully, "I'd like to be a grandmotherтАж"
Harry lost his grin and looked appalled.
"Not for a while yet," James reassured him, patting him on the back.
"No, no, there's no rush," Lily agreed. "But someday," she said pointedly.
"Yes'm," Harry gulped.
"If you do go back, you'll have to say hi to Padfoot and Moony for me," James told him.
"And you're to remember to thank Molly for me for the jumper," Lily added. "And tell Sev that he was my first and best friend, and that I'll always love him," she finished with a sweet, sad expression.
Harry squirmed. That was an awfully mushy message.
"And you can also tell him from me that he's been the best dad you could have," James put in.
Harry beamed. He knew his da would like hearing that.
"And tell him I said he should be more strict with you," James added, mostly to see Harry pout again.
"Daaaaaaaaaad!" Harry complained, only to hear James burst into laughter.
"You're too easy, son," James grinned, tackling Harry into another hug.
"Well," Harry finally forced himself to say the words, "I guess I'll go back then." He loved being with his parents тАУ they were everything he had hoped for. His mum was soft and gentle and loving, while his dad was fun and teased him, but he now knew that they'd be with him no matter where he went. And he also knew that he'd see them again eventually.
He already missed his da and his friends, and he wanted to learn more spells and see if he and Ron and Draco could really convince the 'Puffs to declare war on the Ravens and he really wanted to have more of those sundaes like Snape promisedтАж It just seemed wrong to die with unused Fortescue's gift certificates.
"But, erm, I don't have to go right this second, do I?" he asked a bit timidly.
His mum smiled at him. "I think there's time for one last cuddle, don't you?"
Harry grinned and nodded.
At last, he sighed and worked himself free. His mum brushed the fringe off his forehead and gave him a last kiss тАУ and one more task. "Now, Harry, I want you to find a nice girl for Sev. You're growing up and before long, you'll be out on your own. I want to make sure Sev has someone even after you're grown up."
Harry's jaw dropped. Suddenly killing Volauvent didn't seem so hard by comparison. "How am I s'posed to do that?" he demanded, horrified.
James just sighed. "Don't argue with a woman, son. You'll never win."
"But тАУ but тАУ " Harry sputtered.
"You don't have to do it right away, but start thinking on it and get Minerva and Molly to help. That Brunhilde is very nice, but just in case, you should have some other candidates as well. You know, it might be better to find someone from outside Britain," Lily mused, "to get away from the whole War thing. Maybe someone from Canada? Or New Zealand? Sev always wanted to go there to study the local potion ingredients and learn about M─Бori defensive magic. Yes, try there first. See if you can coax him into taking you to New Zealand for the holidays."
Harry nodded helplessly. "Yes, Mum."
James grinned approvingly and Lily gave him a big hug.
Then Lily kissed her son one last time. James ruffled the same unruly hair that graced his own head, and without any more fanfare, Harry found himself back in his body.
He groaned and blinked. His head really hurt, and he wasn't quite sure what had just happened. Everything in his mind seemed somehow muddled.