Arthur sat there and blinked. Harry was worried that Severus Snape, whose name alone was enough to make several years of Hogwarts' students (past and present) wet themselves, was unfamiliar with fearsome punishments? That he, Arthur Weasley, was going to teach Severus how to really instill fear into a child? His own kids were more scared of Snape than they were of him. Even Ginny, who had never even met the man, was leery of Snape through the tales of her brothers, but viewed her own father's furious scoldings with maddening calm тАУ or artful penitence.
"But Harry, I thought you said he spanked you."
Harry sighed. He might as well tell Mr Weasley everything. "He doesn't even smack right," he confessed. "He thinks it's not supposed to hurt, just show me that he's really mad. He says that if he wanted to hurt me, he'd use magic, but then he said he'd never do that, so that means he'll never really hurt me, not even if I've been really bad." He forced himself to look at Arthur. "I know you have to teach him how to really smack тАУ you know, so it hurts and all тАУ but please, could it not be too hard? I mean, I know Professor Snape can hit as hard as Uncle Vernon, but he thinks that's wrong and he said he won't ever do it again. So maybe you could just tell him to hit harder than he does now, but not as hard as he could. Please?"
"Let me be sure I understand this," Arthur said, once again feeling like he was in an alternate reality. "Severus has told you he won't use magic to hurt you." Soberly, Harry nodded. "Did he talk about anything specific, like stinging hexes or Crucio? Or did he say he wouldn't use any magic at all?"
Harry frowned. "He just said if he wanted to hurt me there were spells that would hurt an awful lot more than any smack, but that's not what adults are supposed to do." He sighed. "He really doesn't understand. Every time I do something bad, he does something nice. Like when I told him I hadn't known to buy good clothes when I was in Diagon Alley, he said he'd take me shopping instead of punishing me for being stupid. And when Draco and I disobeyed Madam Hooch, he was angrier about me maybe getting hurt than about my not listening to a teacher." Harry bit his lip as he watched Mr Weasley's expression. The man's face was all twisted up in bemusement. He must not have realized how much help Professor Snape needed.
"So Severus said he won't hurt you with magic. Any magic. And he also said he won't hit you very hard?"
Harry nodded again.
"When he swatted your bum today тАУ "
"It didn't hurt at all. He didn't even put me over his knee or anything. He just sort of reached around and gave me a little slap," Harry acknowledged sadly, wishing he didn't have to betray the professor's ineptitude. Poor Professor Snape! Mr Weasley would think he was a real no-hoper.
"You're worried that I'm going to tell him that he's supposed to smack you a lot harder?"
"I know you have to teach him how to be a dad," Harry explained, trying not to cry. "But I like that he lets me hug him and he didn't even yell when I got snot all over him from crying. And he lets me act like a real baby sometimes without telling me off. Like when he carried me through the floo thingy, he didn't make fun of me or anything. I know you've got to tell him to stop all that, but тАУ"
"Harry." Arthur interrupted. "Is there anything that Severus does that you wish he didn't do? Anything that makes you sad or hurts your feelings or makes you uncomfortable?"
"No, sir."
"He doesn't say anything strange or touch you in certain places or have secret games that you're not allowed to tell anyone about?"
Harry frowned in bewilderment. "No, sir."
"He doesn't harm you in any way? Your only worry is that he's too nice to you, too indulgent, and I'm going to tell him to stop?"
"Yes, sir."
"And he doesn't hurt you or insult you or make you feel stupid or unsafe?"
"No, he makes me feel safe," Harry protested. "And he said if anyone tries to hurt me, even an adult, I can protect myself." A half-smile tugged at his lips. "I guess you'll need to tell him that you and Mrs Weasley c'n whack me."
"Harry, I think you're confused about something," Arthur said slowly. "It's not Severus who has the wrong idea about being a dad. It's you." Harry looked at him in bewilderment. "Dads aren't supposed to hurt their children. If you ask Ron, I think he'll tell you that he's not scared of me or his mum. That we don't hurt him. That we don't allow anyone to attack him. All these things that Severus has told you тАУ they're true. He is being a good dad. There's nothing I have to teach him.
"In fact, it's probably true that he can teach me a few things, because there have been times when I have lost my temper with Ron and the others. I probably have given them swats that hurt longer than a few seconds or said something that hurt their feelings or made some other kind of mistake. And Harry, it's likely that as Severus takes care of you, he'll make a few mistakes too. But I imagine that if you remember that he's doing his best to be a good father, and you keep trying to be a good son, then the two of you will do just fine."
Harry's mouth was open in shock. "You mean it? He's doing it right? But Uncle Vernon said тАУ" he gasped and both hands flew to cover his mouth. "Don't tell Professor Snape I said that!" he begged. "He'll go spare!"
Arthur couldn't help but smile at Harry's agitation. "Will he really?"
Harry nodded vehemently. "He's really mad at the Dursleys, and he says the stuff they told me is worse than any bad word I could say. I've already got to write 500 lines about them being stupid liars, and he said if I quote them again, he'll wash my mouth out with soap." He glanced over his shoulder at the kitchen door and lowered his voice. "I don't think he'd do it, but I don't want to find out."
Just then the kitchen door flew open, and Molly and Severus stormed out. Arthur was pleased to see that both were still standing and no blood was visible.
Harry, taken aback at the sudden resumption of noise as the silencing spell was voided, jerked in surprise, and his hand knocked over his glass of pumpkin juice. Molly reached over his head to grab it, and Harry flinched violently.
Everyone froze.
I'm such an idiot! Harry thought miserably. He knew тАУ well, he was pretty sure тАУ that Molly hadn't been going to hit him. Now they're going to think I'm a fr- that I'm weird.
Arthur and Molly exchanged shocked looks. The Dursleys' treatment of Harry had to have been worse than they imagined for him to have developed such ingrained reactions.
Then the silence was broken by a calm voice. "Excellent reflexes, Mr Potter. As I told you, I expect you not to just sit there and let someone harm you. You moved out of the way quite speedily. I'm glad you are following my instructions so well. Next we will work on distinguishing friend from foe, but I'm certain Mrs Weasley was impressed by your ability." And with that, Snape reseated himself.
"Er, yes, Harry, dear," Molly agreed. "That was very well done." She slowly moved to right the glass and a quick wave of her wand vanished the spilled juice.
Harry straightened up and sent a look of gratitude to Severus. Leave it to the professor to save the day! Now the Weasleys wouldn't think he was weird or stupid тАУ they'd understand that he was just practicing. He smiled up at Mrs Weasley. "Dinner was really great," he told her.